How To Be More Patient With Your Kids

You trip over a shoe in the middle of the hallway, you step on a matchbox car, and you see yet another shirt lying on the floor in their room. You try not to yell, because you are trying to be more patient with your kids.

Wait.

Didn’t you already ask them to clean their room… twice? Yet it is still a mess? It can be easy to lose your temper with your kids when things like this happen. I get it. After all… I’m a mom, too.

How to be more patient with your kids - mom and child with big brown eyes with text, How to Be More Patient with Your Kids  - Kids Activities Blog

Let’s increase our BE PATIENT skills!

Here are some tips to be more patient with your kids:

How to Be a More Patient Parent with Your Kids

Yelling, arguing, angry looks… all things that happen when we lose our patience.

It isn’t the way that I want my children to remember me, or the way that I want them to parent their own children one day.

Don’t worry!

You can always work on it!

Change Your Perspective to Improve Patience with Kids - upset daughter and mother talking
Step back and take a look at your situation with a perspective change!

Change Your Perspective to Be More Patient with Your Kids

Treat your family like houseguests, and you will see them start to do the same for you.

Would you yell at a houseguest for leaving their shoes out?

Would you say, “HURRY UP!”, if you were running late?

Try treating your kids like houseguests, just for this week. If you get a drink or snack, offer one to your family, etc. This will keep the peace, and everyone will be more likely to get along. Soon, they will do the same for you!

Thoughtfulness leads to patience!

Realize where the problem lies. The other day I was upset with my husband for something (I can’t even remember now), but at that same time, our 3 year old came over to me, in a very whiny voice, and said “I want oatmeal.” I snapped back at her, “When you can talk to me like a big girl, I will help   you.”

It wasn’t what I said, but how I said it.

Her face said it all when her pouty lip came out, and her sad eyes filled with tears.

I wanted to cry with her.

I wasn’t upset with her, but she was the one that had to deal  with my attitude.      

How To Be More Patient With Your Kids - text - Take Care of Yourself - green smoothie with journal and pen

Stop losing patience with your kids by taking the step of self-care.

Self Care = Better Parenting = Being More Patient!

Sleep is Important for Improving Patience

Get enough rest. Just like a child that is crabby at night, if you aren’t getting enough sleep, you will be crabby, too.

Try getting 7 hours of sleep tonight, and see what a difference it makes. Maybe even aim for 8 hours! It’s hard to be patient with kids when you are overtired. It is incredibly hard to work on patience when you are over-tired.

We have all seen what not having enough rest does to a 2 year old.  You are literally a grown up 2 year old with just a little better coping skills.

Hydration is a Key to Not Losing Your Patience

Drink more water  and eat better. Yes, it is true. You are what you eat.  If you don’t drink water,  you aren’t going to be as happy.  

I have seen it in my friends and family.

I know thinking about hydration as a direct link to increased patience with kids may seem like a stretch, but every single little step can get you closer to your goal of being more patient.  Feeling better will help you do that.

How to Develop More Patience with Kids - Outdoor exercise is key - family running along country trail
Get everyone outside for more exercise. It calms the entire family!

Movement Helps You Become More Patient

Exercise.  Seriously. Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happier.

Happy = patience!

Remember the example above of how a 2 year old gets really impatient when they don’t have enough sleep.  Think about how a 2 year old behaves when they haven’t had enough movement or outdoor play…again, just like you!

Bonus patience points if you exercise outside in the fresh air!

Give Yourself a Patience Time Out

Take a break.  

After you lose your temper or are upset, it can take a full half of an hour to calm back down.

Have your whole family spend time reading or playing in their bedrooms for 30 minutes until everyone feels better again.

This also teaches them an important life skill of coping with being impatience.

Practice meditation and breathing exercises. Anger in general is poison to the body. Take care of yours by controlling your emotions.

How to Be More Patient with Your Kids - middle school age girl upset and sitting in corner
Kids learn patience skills by watching the ones they love.

Change The Behavior–And Not Just Theirs

Try to see if your child is acting the way that YOU act.

When a problem arises, how does your child handle it? 

If he is acting like you, see it for what it is and fix it.  If you are not being the best you that you can be, do better.

When you feel your blood pressure raising, try talking in a whisper, instead of yelling. It works wonders!

Stop the Argument

Don’t argue with your children.

If you are frustrated, they will become frustrated, which will lead to               an unhelpful argument.

Be firm, but fair.

Make a rule, and stick to it, and there will be no arguing necessary because it won’t get them anywhere. Instead, try being empathetic towards them when they realize that they are not going to get what they want.

This even teaches them how to be patient with other kids!

How to Stop Losing Your Patience as a Parent with Kids - Be a Patient Role Model - mom and daughter
Be the patience role model your kids need.

Be a Patient Role Model

Remember that your kids are watching you.

Why is it that we are the more patient parent when we are out, yet we forget to more patient with our kids when we are home?

They are watching us 24/7, and  they are the ones that will learn from us. Remember to be the BEST example of patience, and learn from it when you do lose your cool.

Be Proactive, It Definitely Leads To Being More Patient!

Be prepared.

The root of my impatient behavior is always the same: I am unprepared.

If I am unprepared when dinnertime rolls around, the kids will be cranky (because they are hungry) and I will end up losing my temper.

If I am unprepared before bed, with lunches packed for the next                  school day, we will have a hectic morning, kids will be late to school, and I will end up losing my temper.

Being prepared stops this.

How to Be More Patient with Kids - Teaching kindness - little girl petting cat with parents nearby
Teaching kids how to treat others & animals with kindness and grace…

Teach Kindness, Love & Grace

Compliment each other.  

I learned this years ago and it works! 

Give out compliments. It may be hard at first, but everyone will be happier. Give them to your kids and your spouse. Have your family give them to each other.

How to Improve Your Patience Level - child looking with sad eyes

Start by giving yourself grace.

Try it at dinner first – everyone gives out two to each family member.             It makes a huge difference in everyone’s attitudes.                                             

Teaching Forgiveness Starts With You…

Apologize when you are wrong. 

I immediately apologized to my daughter when I blew up at her oatmeal request, when I was really just frustrated with my own situation. “I’m sorry. Mommy was wrong to talk that way to you.  I was not upset with you, and I shouldn’t have done that. I apologize. Do you still want oatmeal?  If you do, please ask me in a big girl voice and I will help you.”  

She forgave me and ate  her strawberry oatmeal happily.

When you teach humility, you also teach responsibility, and they will own up to their own mistakes over the years, because of your influence.

Give yourself grace and time to change.  If you have been someone that loses their patience easily, give yourself time to break from this habit.  Forgive yourself for whatever it is that you did that day (lost your temper, yelled, grounded the kids for a few minutes too long) and do better tomorrow.

We can’t all be perfect all of the time.

We will lose our patience at some point, but we can work on doing             better.  

Improving Patience with Kids - every day is a new day - happy family mom dad and baby
Tomorrow is another day!

And Remember, Each Day Is A New Start!

When we know better, we do better.

Remind yourself that you can always learn, grow, and improve as a parent. It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s all in how we come back from them. Try to calm down when you start to lose your patience, and open your eyes to look at  the beautiful children in front of you, watching your every move. 

Be the best example of a kind, patient person that you can be. 

More Help for Families from Kids Activities Blog

What techniques do you use to control your patience at home? Let us know if the comments below…