Holly got ready.
Ready for something she hasn’t done in years.
Holly realized that she had only
one pair of jeans that fit well. She had no choice but to go shopping for
another pair.
Why has Holly not been jean shopping for years?
Maybe because last time she went shopping for jeans she
entered the store as
a confident woman and
exited the store as
a huddled mass yearning to be free of her obvious body disfigurements.
For you see, in
non-jean-shopping-life Holly is OK with her body. She is not in love with her shape, but has accepted it and moves on…
Yet for some reason, in
jean-shopping-life all that changes.
Holly’s
non-jean-shopping THIGHS are OK, but her
jean-shopping THIGHS appear like over-stuffed, dimpled sausage.
Holly’s
non-jean-shopping WAIST is OK, but her
jean-shopping WAIST creates plumber-effect.
In
non-jean shopping-life Holly never met a tailor. In
jean-shopping-life Holly has never met a pair of jeans that didn’t require a skilled one.
Holly recruited a friend for moral support.
Holly wasn’t sure about the morality, but could really use the support.
Soon Holly was back in a dressing room with an ever-growing pile of ill-fitting jeans.
*Hold me*
Just about the time Holly was about to slip into her pre-existing Post-Traumatic Jean Shopping Syndrome, the sales clerk asked her to try on one more pair.
Holly tried on the jeans.
Holly was puzzled.
Something was different.
Very different.
The jeans fit.
*cue the angel choir*
Where did you find these jeans that fit so perfectly?
The men’s department.
Yep.
In
jean-shopping-life Holly is a
boy.
Holly realized that she had only one pair of jeans that fit well. She had no choice but to go shopping for another pair.
Why has Holly not been jean shopping for years?
Maybe because last time she went shopping for jeans she entered the store as a confident woman and exited the store as a huddled mass yearning to be free of her obvious body disfigurements.
For you see, in non-jean-shopping-life Holly is OK with her body. She is not in love with her shape, but has accepted it and moves on…
Yet for some reason, in jean-shopping-life all that changes.
Holly’s non-jean-shopping THIGHS are OK, but her jean-shopping THIGHS appear like over-stuffed, dimpled sausage.
Holly’s non-jean-shopping WAIST is OK, but her jean-shopping WAIST creates plumber-effect.
In non-jean shopping-life Holly never met a tailor. In jean-shopping-life Holly has never met a pair of jeans that didn’t require a skilled one.
Holly recruited a friend for moral support. Holly wasn’t sure about the morality, but could really use the support.
Soon Holly was back in a dressing room with an ever-growing pile of ill-fitting jeans.
*Hold me*
Just about the time Holly was about to slip into her pre-existing Post-Traumatic Jean Shopping Syndrome, the sales clerk asked her to try on one more pair.
Holly tried on the jeans.
Holly was puzzled.
Something was different.
Very different.
The jeans fit.
*cue the angel choir*
Where did you find these jeans that fit so perfectly?
The men’s department.
Yep.
In jean-shopping-life Holly is a boy.
Oh my god, I laughed.
Especially at the bare legs showing from under the dressing room door.
Oh I just laughed out load!!
Hehe this is brilliant!
For me, jean shopping is the new swimsuit shopping. 3 dozen jeans with a side of misery.
further proof that we were separated at birth.
I hate jeans shopping too. But for all future such excursions, I will laugh and think of you.
i have TONS of friends that prefer Men’s Jeans to the awkward fit of womens…
Says A LOT about the design of girl’s jeans, doesn’t it?
What the heck? Is that allowed? My daughter is shaped like a board. I am so raiding the boy’s section now!
TexasHolly saves the day again! Congratulations on your new jeans.
I love the pictures. I felt I was there with you in horrible jean land
I am shaped like a board, too. A BIG FAT BOARD.
I borrow my husband’s jeans lots, but that is because I’m a lazy slattern and not because they fit me well. So now I am very, very jealous.
I LOVE your drawn posts. They are the funniest thigns online.