Holly got ready.
Ready for something she hasn’t done in years.
Holly realized that she had only
one pair of jeans that fit well. She had no choice but to go shopping for
another pair.
Why has Holly not been jean shopping for years?
Maybe because last time she went shopping for jeans she
entered the store as
a confident woman and
exited the store as
a huddled mass yearning to be free of her obvious body disfigurements.
For you see, in
non-jean-shopping-life Holly is OK with her body. She is not in love with her shape, but has accepted it and moves on…
Yet for some reason, in
jean-shopping-life all that changes.
Holly’s
non-jean-shopping THIGHS are OK, but her
jean-shopping THIGHS appear like over-stuffed, dimpled sausage.
Holly’s
non-jean-shopping WAIST is OK, but her
jean-shopping WAIST creates plumber-effect.
In
non-jean shopping-life Holly never met a tailor. In
jean-shopping-life Holly has never met a pair of jeans that didn’t require a skilled one.
Holly recruited a friend for moral support.
Holly wasn’t sure about the morality, but could really use the support.
Soon Holly was back in a dressing room with an ever-growing pile of ill-fitting jeans.
*Hold me*
Just about the time Holly was about to slip into her pre-existing Post-Traumatic Jean Shopping Syndrome, the sales clerk asked her to try on one more pair.
Holly tried on the jeans.
Holly was puzzled.
Something was different.
Very different.
The jeans fit.
*cue the angel choir*
Where did you find these jeans that fit so perfectly?
The men’s department.
Yep.
In
jean-shopping-life Holly is a
boy.
Holly realized that she had only one pair of jeans that fit well. She had no choice but to go shopping for another pair.
Why has Holly not been jean shopping for years?
Maybe because last time she went shopping for jeans she entered the store as a confident woman and exited the store as a huddled mass yearning to be free of her obvious body disfigurements.
For you see, in non-jean-shopping-life Holly is OK with her body. She is not in love with her shape, but has accepted it and moves on…
Yet for some reason, in jean-shopping-life all that changes.
Holly’s non-jean-shopping THIGHS are OK, but her jean-shopping THIGHS appear like over-stuffed, dimpled sausage.
Holly’s non-jean-shopping WAIST is OK, but her jean-shopping WAIST creates plumber-effect.
In non-jean shopping-life Holly never met a tailor. In jean-shopping-life Holly has never met a pair of jeans that didn’t require a skilled one.
Holly recruited a friend for moral support. Holly wasn’t sure about the morality, but could really use the support.
Soon Holly was back in a dressing room with an ever-growing pile of ill-fitting jeans.
*Hold me*
Just about the time Holly was about to slip into her pre-existing Post-Traumatic Jean Shopping Syndrome, the sales clerk asked her to try on one more pair.
Holly tried on the jeans.
Holly was puzzled.
Something was different.
Very different.
The jeans fit.
*cue the angel choir*
Where did you find these jeans that fit so perfectly?
The men’s department.
Yep.
In jean-shopping-life Holly is a boy.
Hahaha that was hysterical, thanks for sharing.
I wear mostly men jeans, straight leg boot cut they are worth the choir of angels
See – I think that jeans are actually made for pear-shaped women. Because I’m the classic hourglass and have MAJOR struggles. Butt crack hanging out the back? Check. Knees of jeans that apparently hit me in mid-calf? Check. Jeans that have to be hiked up each time I stand up? Check!
I love it! I suffer from the same issue but not because I am a skinny board. I am short and short-waisted. Oh well, I am glad you found something!
I haven’t been here in a while and the place looks GREAT. Clean. Fresh. and great.
Man jeans. Really? I find that so hard to believe…you have such a great figure. Heck I would wear man jeans if I could have your figure too! Embrace it. Tell the world. Oh…yeah…I guess you just did.
me
I wear Mr. S’s old jeans when we do outside work, or with the cattle. They are super comfortable, and I love them. I say wear whatever is most comfortable and works for you!
Dude! (I can call you that now!) I’m totally sorry it took so many tears to figure this one out. But… so glad you are happy now.
I have missed your illustrated posts… : )
Ha ha.. Aren’t sells people great!! My one and only pair of jeans ( that fit) are Lucky boyfriend jeans.They are girls jeans but cut like boys.. I’m not so stick figureish more of a marshmallow shape now..
LOL. Work on that book! I have the exact same problem. I’ll try man jeans. Thanks!
That is a riot. Boy jeans rock.