Blog-Stedman and I have celebrated 18 Christmases together. 15 of those have been celebrated under the plastic boughs of a faux-tree. The first few Christmases we had a fake fir for financial reasons. Once we were a bit more established (Christmas #4) we jumped in our Cherokee and drove to a local tree farm. I love a real tree. They are so real. They are so tree-y. We chose a beautiful tree. Tied it to the roof. Toted it home. Set it in the living room. Decorated it with care. Stood back and admired it. Around midnight the first night we both started to sniffle. Odd. That we would both catch colds at the same time. The sniffles continued throughout the entire holiday season. Merry Christmas! sniffle. sniffle. The sniffles were thrown out to the curb with the dead tree 4 weeks later. Oh! Maybe we are allergic to certain Christmas trees. Year two we toted home a different variety with the same results. Merry Christmas! sniffle. sniffle. Year three we toted home a different variety with the same results. Merry Christmas! sniffle. sniffle. By the fourth year (ya, we are quick learners…) we decided we were more fake tree folk because being merry is much easier when you can breathe. Fast forward 11 Christmases to a gray minivan full of three boys passing a local Christmas tree “farm”* today: Reid: Why don’t we get our Christmas tree there? Me: We already have a tree! Remember helping me put it together? Ryan: Those are REAL TREES. Reid: Oh. Ryan: You don’t want a REAL TREE because they are FULL OF BUGS and when you take them home there are SQUIRRELS and RATS living in them IN YOUR HOUSE… I love it when I don’t have to say anything more. *The Christmas tree “farm” is actually the pumpkin patch after a holiday make-over that I animated here. Oh, and guess what? Yep, there is an identical Christmas tree “farm” next door.



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30 Comments

  1. After its close-up last Christmas, Our real tree lived (and died) in my side yard until Andy finally threw it away in the spring.

  2. Is there really something with the name? Cause we have a fake tree for the same reason. Way to to mom’s dirty work, Ryan.

  3. Ha! Love it – we had a related conversation in our car last night.

    “Why are those Christmas trees outside, Mommy?”
    “Cuz they’re real, and, um, well, I don’t know why they sell them outside. They probably have bugs in them.”
    “Can we get a real tree? We can take the bugs out!”
    “No.”
    “Why not?”
    “What would we do with the pretty (fake) tree we already have?”
    “Put it outside.”

    Duh.

  4. Fantastic!!

    Growing up we only had real trees, but once I got married the hubby put the kabosh on that one. So we’ve had a fake fir ever since.

    Love the part about bugs and squirrels. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

  5. I resisted forever, but once I gave in I haven’t looked back. I just burn wonderful smelling candles and bake cinammon rolls. Good smells? Check.

  6. I am a bad person I think. Even though my daughter and I are asthmatics, we still get a real tree. It just isn’t Christmas too me, unless a trip or two to the ER is involved. 🙂

  7. lol. i sure do hope when we put our tree up in the house NOTHING comes out of it.. not bugs, critter… and especially NOT RATS!!

    i do love when kids talk themselves or other siblings out of something. 🙂

    their reasoning is just so funny!!

    xoxoxo