What do you do when you have an overbearing mother in law that you don’t see eye to eye with? There is a stereotype about mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws, we can see it in shows like Everybody Loves Raymond. But that’s a TV show, what do you do if you don’t see with your mother-in-law in real life? We have some great solutions that may help!
What To Do When You Don’t See Eye To Eye With Your Mother-In-Law?
What to do when When You Don’t See Eye-to-Eye with Your Mother-in-Law? I feel blessed to have family that I love spending time with, but not everyone can say that. Last week I found a message on our Facebook Page that asked for advice on an overbearing mother in law. We have answers from our community that can help keep peace in the family with the inlaws.
When You Don’t Agree with Your Mother-in-Law on Parenting
The question we received about the inlaws:
“She’s always criticizing what I do with or to my children, and also how I do my housework. She helps with babysitting and I live with her in a large house with a huge yard that my kids love. I am grateful, but I need help on how to politely tell her to please let me raise them.”-Quirky Momma community memeber
We asked the (amazing) readers on our Facebook page and they offered great advice…
How to Get Along with Your Mother-in-law
1. MIL as a Consultant
Thank her for her advice and leave it at that. Later, you can discuss it with your husband to see if you want to follow the advice or not.
2. Explore Interests
Is there a similar interest you share? Take the time to connect over something other than the kids and your spouse, and you may see your relationship grow.
3. Perspective Shift
Many moms and mother-in-laws are going to offer the advice, without even really thinking of it. Take it with a grain of salt and move forward.
4. Thank & Inform
Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself. Calmly responding, “Thank you, I know I may do things differently, and I will make mistakes, but please support and encourage me along the way.” She may not even realize the effect her words are having.
5. Ask for Help
If there is a topic your mother in law could teach you about, ask her to teach you. She may then focus on that and forget about the other things.
6. Family Values
Decide what your values as a family will be and be firm with it. Your family may not agree, and that is okay.
7. Positive Focus
Focus on the positive. Instead of complaining about your mother-in-law, look for what is good about her. The more you focus on the positive, the less the negative will fill you.
8. Celebrate Difference
There will be differences. When we adjust our expectations and realize we combining two different families, the little bumps that happen are not so shocking.
9. Relationship Rescue
Remember she is your spouse’s mom. Do you want to tarnish the relationship forever? You do not have to be best friends, but you can be civil.
10. Grace is Best
Always choose grace. At the end of the day, many times we are getting upset over little things. It is usually best when we give some grace and react with love.
Some Of Our Favorite Books About Dealing With The In-Laws
Dealing with the in-laws can be difficult. And every situation is different and requires different solutions. So here is some of our favorite books that will hopefully help you deal with any problems that may arise in a relationship involving in-laws.
- How To Cope With A Toxic Mother-In-Law- Strategies Maintaining Harmony, Setting Boundaries, and Finding Empowerment.
- How To Be A Good Mother-In-Law: Essential Guide To Being A Positive And Supportive Mother-In-Law
- Reluctantly Related: Secrets With Getting Along With Your Mother-In-Law or Daughter-In-Law
More Smart Reader & Real Mom Advice from Kids Activities Blog
- How to Balance Your Career & Parenting
- The Worst Parenting Advice I’ve Ever Heard
- How to Love Being a Mom
- Sometimes They Just Need You
What tips would you add for dealing with a mother-in-law that might not be on the same page as you?