Holly’s middle son, Reid is turning six this week. Happy birthday Reid! Because Reid’s mother is not the actual June Cleaver, Holly needed to purchase cakes. She needed two – one for a family party on Sunday and one for a kid party on Wednesday. Load up the minivan! Holly is going to Target…

Target Super Center entrance

Because Holly has been to Target a few times, she knows right where the bakery is located.

A hand drawn map of the inside of Target

Holly let’s Reid pick out the cakes he wants from the handy-dandy three ring binder display in front of the bakery security glass. Reid wants the Dinosaur Attack cake. Reid wants the Indiana Jones cake with the super cool boulder.

Holly needs to order a cake

In a bit of foreshadowing, Holly wonders why Target bakery employees need the security of glass to separate them from their customers. Holly notices that the Target bakery employees don’t seem to be very interested in the cake ordering process. Holly notices that her three boys don’t seem very interested in the cake ordering process. Holly notices that the Target bakery employees are hiding behind the security glass. Holly notices that her three boys are hiding at multiple locations throughout the Target Super Center.

Three boys paths through Target

Holly finally gets the attention of the correct Target bakery employee to order her cakes. She requests a Dinosaur Attack cake in a 1/4 sheet to feed 12 people. The Target bakery employees are HORRIFIED that she would request such a thing. The Target bakery employees inform Holly under no uncertain circumstances are Dinosaur Attack cakes sold in that size or for a reasonable price. Dinosaur Attack cakes are only available in ONE size (no exceptions) and for the price of $39.99 (no exceptions). That cake is $39.99 Holly loves over-paying and having left-overs so she readily agrees. She then orders the Indiana Jones cake with the super cool boulder which doesn’t seem to be under the same size and price restrictions. The second cake order Holly then has to pick out the cake flavor, the cake frosting, the cake lettering, the cake blah, blah, blah… Holly lost track of all the cake decisions. Holly lost track of time. Holly lost track of three boys. Just when Holly was about to leave and look for her children, the Target bakery employee mentioned that they should check and see if they had the Dinosaur Attack and Indiana Jones with the super cool boulder cake kits. “Target can not accept the order of a cake without the cake kit IN HAND.” The bakery can't make either cake The Target bakery employee returned with bad news. No Dinosaur Attack. No Indiana Jones with the super cool boulder. Holly has just invested the last 26 minutes of her life into these cakes. Holly has just promised to pay an outlandish sum of money for these cakes. Holly is taking home these cakes. Holly politely requests that the Target bakery employee call another Target bakery. Holly requests a call to another bakery It appears that all the Targets within a 30 mile radius are out of the cake kits that Reid has requested. Holly is a little confused. If these cakes are so popular, why not order a few extra kits? The Target bakery employee informs Holly that they are only allowed to order three kits per cake style every 11 days. Holly does some quick calculations in her head… Holly does cake math in her head Holly was about to solve the Target cake kit shortage when she glanced at the time. Crap! Holly has been in the Target bakery for 42 minutes and only has 18 minutes to do all the rest of her shopping and check out. Holly is 0-2 in the cake department. Just then Holly notices a flash of activity in front of her. Just then Holly recognizes the flash as one of her three missing children. First the flash, then the BANG. Oh! and another BANG. And that was followed by a waterfall-type effect… Contents of cake binder display fall to floor One of Holly’s bored children released the three rings in both binders which caused EVERY SINGLE CAKE DISPLAY PAGE to fall to the ground. Holly tries to remain calm in Target’s bakery. Against all odds. Maybe you should get your own toys When the Target bakery employee suggested that Holly should purchase the cakes as ordered (except of course there are no kits) and go buy toys from the toy section to place on the cake, Holly realized why there was security glass between her and the employee. Holly also realized that she has wasted another 5 minutes cleaning up the three ring binder mess and that she better hurry if anyone was getting cake, toys to go on the cake, or dinner. Holly went to the toy aisle for dinosaurs and Indiana Jones action figures. The Target Super Center Toy Aisle Holly soon found that a package of dinosaurs cost $19.99 and that the Indiana Jones action figures have been discontinued. Holly did more math in her head:   $39.99 cake + $19.99 dinosaurs = Holly not having to go out and try to find something cheaper later. Holly also mentally evaluated the Indiana Jones cake with the super cool boulder. Holly agreed to ANY toy that Reid suggested (Star Wars) because theoretically it couldn’t be called an Indiana Jones cake if there wasn’t actually anything Indiana Jones about it. So Holly went home with some expensive dinosaurs and the promise of a Star Wars cake with a super cool boulder. When Holly returned to Target’s bakery for the first cake she was delighted to notice that the price on the cake was not what she expected. The $46.99 cake Holly was super proud of herself for not having a mental breakdown in the middle of Target’s bakery. She quietly mentioned that the price of $46.99 was higher than the promised $39.99 and that her cake DIDN’T EVEN COME WITH A KIT. A different Target bakery employee realized the beginning of Target bakery rage and quietly reduced the price. Holly went home with her super expensive cake. And then added the super expensive dinosaurs. And then admitted it was a super great cake – so great that it’s volcanic lava defied gravity. The final cake One cake down and only one to go…



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36 Comments

  1. This must have taken a lot of effort to draw and put together, but the result was great. If only it were not so true 🙁

    Come to think of it, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, and the name of the store sure is mentioned a lot. Surely you didn’t mean THAT.

  2. Do you guys have a Safeway? I looove their bakery! I am super picky about frosting and usually make it from scratch, but theirs is actually good!

    Also, I love the little cartoons you drew. I feel like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown with just ONE toddler-sized boy. How do you manage with 3?!?

  3. I hate hate hate the employees in Target and Walmart. They are so uncaring and unhelpful and untrained and generally stupid. Of course, they are also underpaid so the stores only get the dregs.

  4. This was a brilliant story. Ever more so, because I would be the stupid mom who would just say FORGET THIS and then spend at least another day hopping around place to place to find the “right cake.” I am also proud of you for not crying. I would have. LOL.

  5. I loved everything about this post, especially the security glass foreshadowing. And your cake is awesome. It’s like it was made by Tiffany’s or something. if they made cakes.

  6. Em loves Holly because Holly makes Em realize that there are more silver linings to food allergies and PKU than Em ever imagined – store bought cakes are a no no.

    Em gives Holly a big hug.

  7. Holly, I am exhausted at this scenario on your behalf. Seems like everything in my life goes about equally as smoothly lately.

    KEEP BELIEVING

  8. i’m thinkin’ that my love affair with target would NOT extend to the bakery department.

    security glass was a wise investment for them.

  9. It is an awesome cake.

    I love love love Holly’s animated life 😉 It makes me smile, as do you my dear friend.

  10. “Holly did the math in her head. Please don’t check her math.” You’re killing me! If this wasn’t so freakin’ true, I would say that there is no way that stuff happened.

    Except that I can totally relate and have been there oh too often.

    But hey, the dinosaur cake is rockin’.