Holly got ready.
Ready for something she hasn’t done in years.
Holly realized that she had only
one pair of jeans that fit well. She had no choice but to go shopping for
another pair.
Why has Holly not been jean shopping for years?
Maybe because last time she went shopping for jeans she
entered the store as
a confident woman and
exited the store as
a huddled mass yearning to be free of her obvious body disfigurements.
For you see, in
non-jean-shopping-life Holly is OK with her body. She is not in love with her shape, but has accepted it and moves on…
Yet for some reason, in
jean-shopping-life all that changes.
Holly’s
non-jean-shopping THIGHS are OK, but her
jean-shopping THIGHS appear like over-stuffed, dimpled sausage.
Holly’s
non-jean-shopping WAIST is OK, but her
jean-shopping WAIST creates plumber-effect.
In
non-jean shopping-life Holly never met a tailor. In
jean-shopping-life Holly has never met a pair of jeans that didn’t require a skilled one.
Holly recruited a friend for moral support.
Holly wasn’t sure about the morality, but could really use the support.
Soon Holly was back in a dressing room with an ever-growing pile of ill-fitting jeans.
*Hold me*
Just about the time Holly was about to slip into her pre-existing Post-Traumatic Jean Shopping Syndrome, the sales clerk asked her to try on one more pair.
Holly tried on the jeans.
Holly was puzzled.
Something was different.
Very different.
The jeans fit.
*cue the angel choir*
Where did you find these jeans that fit so perfectly?
The men’s department.
Yep.
In
jean-shopping-life Holly is a
boy.
Holly realized that she had only one pair of jeans that fit well. She had no choice but to go shopping for another pair.
Why has Holly not been jean shopping for years?
Maybe because last time she went shopping for jeans she entered the store as a confident woman and exited the store as a huddled mass yearning to be free of her obvious body disfigurements.
For you see, in non-jean-shopping-life Holly is OK with her body. She is not in love with her shape, but has accepted it and moves on…
Yet for some reason, in jean-shopping-life all that changes.
Holly’s non-jean-shopping THIGHS are OK, but her jean-shopping THIGHS appear like over-stuffed, dimpled sausage.
Holly’s non-jean-shopping WAIST is OK, but her jean-shopping WAIST creates plumber-effect.
In non-jean shopping-life Holly never met a tailor. In jean-shopping-life Holly has never met a pair of jeans that didn’t require a skilled one.
Holly recruited a friend for moral support. Holly wasn’t sure about the morality, but could really use the support.
Soon Holly was back in a dressing room with an ever-growing pile of ill-fitting jeans.
*Hold me*
Just about the time Holly was about to slip into her pre-existing Post-Traumatic Jean Shopping Syndrome, the sales clerk asked her to try on one more pair.
Holly tried on the jeans.
Holly was puzzled.
Something was different.
Very different.
The jeans fit.
*cue the angel choir*
Where did you find these jeans that fit so perfectly?
The men’s department.
Yep.
In jean-shopping-life Holly is a boy.
Ha! What a great post! I’m so glad I stumbled on you blog. I’ll be back again soon!
Being a man has all the perks! Cheaper hair cuts, cheaper clothes, no monthly visitors, and now better fitting jeans! What’s not to love? ๐
I feel ur pain. I happen to be shaped more like a Bartlett pair, so I haven't worn jeans in at least 7 years. Since my youngest was conceived/born.
He actually read this with me & liked it. Elder boy -the beginning of the death of my figure- read it too, and thought it hysterical.
Gotta teach the kid what to expect when he gets out in life.
Thanks & YOU have been Stumbled!
~Raven
I’m very happy for Holly. Eternal bliss can be found in a great pair of fitting jeans…no matter where they came from.
Some of my friends also buy men’s jeans:))) But now you know where to find good jeans next time:))
Well, the latest rage is guys wearing our jeans, so why not?
That was very funny Holly. Finding the right pair of jeans is such a precious moment.
Why didn’t you talk to me about it? I was a retail professional pre-babies. They also make a boyfriend cut/fit, which is technically mens jeans in the womens department.
ROFL @ jill jill’s comment! HA!
Holly has JEANS now! I can’t tell you how many times I wandered over to the men’s section for my jeans… FINALLY some companies are starting to realize that YES, there are some women who require an inseam longer than 32″. WHEW! Old Navy is now my new jeaniest best friend with their 35″ talls. =)
Girlfriend I have the same deal! Except reversed! My legs are okay, actually I’d say they’re my best asset. But my stomach/waist? Please look away. And after 4 children? It is like a giant kangaroo pouch, but less furry (not I did not say free of fur, just LESS furry.) And dimply. And stark white because who ever thought that post-partum women will ever get into a 2-piece again? Not this Mama! So, I got the muffin top thang goin on, not pretty. Men’s jeans fit me great because, quite often, men have the giant beer belly with nice little birdy legs to go along with it. Like MEEEEEE!