Holly has been doing a lot of thinking. Holly has been doing extensive investigating. Holly finds that the best solution to her problem may be installing one of these:
Holly has decided that a porta-potty, johnnie-on-the-spot, porta-john may be her only option. She has decided that this is the location for her new purchase:
Why would Holly who lives in a lovely suburban neighborhood in a house that could (but doesn’t) have a white picket fence with complete indoor plumbing choose to install a porta-potty, johnnie-on-the-spot, porta-john?
It might have something to do with the plunger that is permanently attached to Holly’s left arm. Holly’s left arm is tired of plunging. Holly has noticed that she is starting to choose outfits in the morning based on whether they match the plunger attached permanently to her left arm.
Holly is wearing green hoping that her green-wearing karma will overcome her low-flow toilet hating soul. Holly’s low-flow toilet hating soul is dark, very dark. Holly’s low-flow toilet hating soul is deep, very deep. Holly’s low-flow toilet hating soul is attached to a body sporting a plunger as a permanent fixture.
Holly’s low-flow toilets seem to have something against the act of flushing.
Hey low-flow toilets…why are you so anti-flush?
Holly also wonders what is the point of low-flow toilets if she has to attempt flushing them three kazillion times with intermittent plunging. Ironically Coincidentally, that is the exact same decibel (three kazillion) Holly’s voice hits when she hears, “Mommy! The toilet isn’t working!”
So, until Al Gore dedicates his life to plunging Holly’s low-flow toilets or suitable alternatives in the United States of Low-Flow Toilets (US of LF T) are legal. Holly is planning this drastic action.
Holly will no longer allow people to use the INDOOR toilets. Holly will lead them to the OUTDOOR toilet which never needs plunging despite the level of crap.
Holly can only hope that the proximity to the patio of the new porta-potty, johnny-on-the-spot, porta-john could encourage its use by a certain Holly’s dog…
At first I read the opening sentence as “Holly has bee drinking….”, it cracked me up. I recently did a similar style rant about ‘green’ bathrooms.
I too hate low-flows.
I think we need a button.
I am dying over here…since I am a Holly with plumbing issues right NOW too! However, mine do not involve low flow toilets…..juts a city with crazy, bad sewers and lots of tree roots…NOT pretty. I thin a Port-a-Potty may be my solution as well!
I LOVE your graphics.
California Holly
I’m still laughing.
Oh my word. I think you may be my new favorite. This was easily the most entertaining thing I’ve seen all day!!
Oh honey, get yourself to this store and get an old fashioned toilet! http://www.dhwsalvage.com/
The environmentalist in me keeps asking my husband if we can get a low flow. But he keeps reminding me that it would not work for him, if you know what I mean!
Hah!
I routinely “break” the toilets in my house, so there’s a plunger in every bathroom. That being said, an old milk jug filled with a gallon of water makes everything work better during flushing.
I freaking adore this. Obviously: http://blogs.chron.com/goodmombadmom/2008/05/bs_sunday.html
Wow, Holly, your toilet post really brought in the comments! I especially love your skinny jeans, only on stick figure Holly LOL
Well, around here, who knows about flushing capacity because who bothers to flush? Certainly not the kids. Makes the dogs happy–more flavor when they start drinking out of the bowl, I guess. Though I can’t abide their breath at this point and if they lick me I scream.
Good point on the multiple flushes. And…nothing more embarassing to a houseguest than stopping up a toilet.