Dear Nirvana Reader,
This is a plea for help. I could be beautiful. I am neglected.
I can prove it.
This is my life:
8:00 am:
Please don’t make me tell you what meal
yesterday the Frito is from.
No one swept me last night.
No one swept me this morning.
10:30 am:
Yes, now I am enduring not only REAL food, but faux food as well.
Please notice that the Frito remains. It is like an itch I cannot scratch.
1:15 pm:
Great. Smashed goldfish were added from lunch.
And the stickers. I never can be free from the stickers.
4:00:
Yes, the wide shot is better to see the real picture of what is happening here.
See that marker?
Non-washable.
She is insane…3 boys and she buys a
non-washable marker?
Do you see what I am dealing with here people?
6:30 pm:
Whew. Progress. First time all day that progress is being made.
Toys picked up…well, actually scooted to the adjoining concrete floor (don’t get him started) to make room for the broom…
ah, I can feel the joy already.
7:45:This is getting a bit irritating.
The
broom
is
right
here.
Please.
Please use it!
9:00 pm:Are you kidding me? It’s getting quiet around here.
No one loves me. She just walks by. Leaving the broom here is just evil.
It is like she is mocking me.
6:15 am:I just spent the whole night dreaming of that broom. Bet she just puts it away and I live like this through another day.
For the love of Frito’s, could you just humor me and pick that ONE up?
Pleadingly,
Holly’s kitchen floor
P.S. I originally made this plea in March of 2008. Things haven’t changed much around here except the addition of handfuls of Legos…
help.
Please don’t make me tell you what meal yesterday the Frito is from.
No one swept me last night.
No one swept me this morning.
10:30 am:
Yes, now I am enduring not only REAL food, but faux food as well.
Please notice that the Frito remains. It is like an itch I cannot scratch.
1:15 pm:
Great. Smashed goldfish were added from lunch.
And the stickers. I never can be free from the stickers.
4:00:
Yes, the wide shot is better to see the real picture of what is happening here. See that marker? Non-washable.
She is insane…3 boys and she buys a non-washable marker?
Do you see what I am dealing with here people?
6:30 pm:
Whew. Progress. First time all day that progress is being made.
Toys picked up…well, actually scooted to the adjoining concrete floor (don’t get him started) to make room for the broom…ah, I can feel the joy already.
7:45:
I love you. Thank you for making me feel better about my kitchen floor. Replace the Fritos with dog hair tumbleweeds and Cheerios. Oh, and was it Frito Pie?? Was it, was it? Mmmm… I want some Frito Pie now. What red blooded Texas kid is not raised on a little bit of Frito Pie?
Holly – why in Heaven’s name isn’t your dog doing his job as designated floor cleaner? I have many things on my kitchen floor, dirt and dog hair included, but food is never there for long.
Crackin me up. Love the photos. And know that you are not alone.
This so reminds me of my kitchen floor. This morning I had to get a plastic bowl out of the cabinet from the bar stool side. I had to sit on the floor to look in and I put my hand in something sticky that had no color. I have no idea what it was. Then when I got up to walk away I stepped in it and my pantyhose stuck to it and I had to pull them off.
I didn’t wipe it up.
I have a similar manifesto written from my coffee table.
I just googled “fritos on the floor” specifically so I could be one of your google search results. Success!
Oh- and I love Purple Teacup’s comment. Very cute.
Buy a Shark Sweeper. Brooms are so “June Cleaver.” LOL
Wow, I have that Frito’s twin on my kitchen floor, as well as the same play dough pink plate and fake food.
You know, if I took photos of my kitchen floor…there would be no floor to see. It is covered with snow…from the dog…in the door, out the door, in the door, out the door. I kind envy yours.
Your floor has been talking to my floor, hasn’t it?