I usually pile mail on the kitchen counter. Over the holidays, if someone was coming over or a party was to be hosted, I just stuffed these piles into random, less visible places throughout the house. It was kind of a mail witness protection program. Yesterday in my grand start toward a more peaceful world, I started going through the 6 relocated piles of generally crap. It was my goal to take care of some of the details immediately so I didn’t have to go through said piles of crap another time…in effect, eliminating them forever or at least until I go get the mail again. One of the envelopes had my new Discover card that needed to be activated so I made that call: Ring, ring. Enter 12 digits, enter 3 digits, enter 4 digits. Wait. Wait for “your card has now been activated”…nope, operator! O: “Hi, this is _____ in Salt Lake City, UT” (in her defense, she really did sound like UT) Me: I need to activate my card O: please give me the 12 digits, 3 digits, 4 digits Me: XXXX XXXX XXXX, XXX, XXXX (yeah, like I am publishing that on my blog–I do have some boundaries) (yes, these were the same digits that I carefully pushed in earlier) O: I see you haven’t used your card since January of 2007, may I ask why? Me: I put everything on my airline card O: WE have an airline card! Me: That is great, but I am pretty content with my credit card situation and don’t want another O: Oh, it would just replace your current card Me: No thanks, I am really ecstatic with my current situation O: It’s a really great card! Me: I am sure it is fabulous, but I am just on the phone to activate THIS card ***At this point this conversation continued back and forth repeating the last few lines*** Me: please, can I just activate my card? O: Oh, of course! I am here to help! Oh! I see that you have $11 in cash-back bonus–wow that is really great! Me: Super! Send it to me. O: Oh, we can’t actually send you anything until you reach the minimum $25, but then you will get a great big $25 check in the mail. Me: That will be a day I will dance in joy (OK, I wish I had said that instead I opened my big mouth and said…) Me: That is the other reason I don’t use your card…you have to make a call after you hit the magic $25 to get a check and if you forget, you could lose it…that is a pain. Can’t you just add the money I accumulate in my big cash-back bonus pot to my account? O: We can’t do that but we can do…(insert clever credit card scheme A)…(insert clever credit card scheme B)…(insert clever credit card scheme C)…(insert clever credit card scheme D)… Me: Really, I am sorry for saying something, you asked earlier and so I am not trying to change the world here, I am just trying to get my card activated (I actually said that!) It is just that I don’t want to make another phone call to get my massive cash-back bonus award. O: Well, you HAVE to make a call to redeem your miles on your other card… Me: that is a little different, you make one call to purchase your tickets from the airline with the miles. O: All I am saying is that you said you didn’t want to call and that requires a call Me: OMG! Can I just get my card activated? O: Oh, yes! I am here to help. I activated it at the beginning of this call… You know that schedule that I touted yesterday? Well, it is now off by 35 minutes…

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  1. I am so happy to hear that you have piles of mail (I feared that I was the only one). My DH says that you should only touch each piece of mail one time (to open it and pay it, at that moment,if its a bill…obviously he’s not a mom.

  2. Dreadful mail…

    Christmas Eve day we got a $410 bill from Sirius radio with OUR address, but the WRONG person’s name. We didn’t sign up for Sirius, we don’t want Sirius, & “Ron whoever” used our address to get an account.

    So I call. And Stupid Rickey (as he came known in our house) first addressed me as “What’s up Heather?” Professional!

    Then he had no answer as to how someone could use a false address to obtain an account, suggested I go wait in line at the POST OFFICE to take care of the wrong address issue (WTF?), & then started taunting my husband who was asking questions from the background.

    When I asked for a supervisor, there was none. When I asked for his last name, he said he didn’t have one. Extension? Nope. Call center location that I called into? Nope, can’t tell you. Supervisor’s Name? Clik. Little bastard hung up on me.

    I loathe customer service reps who can’t do a decent job. ugh.

  3. My husband likes to keep all our mail out of sight on one of the top shelves in the kitchen…problem is that it’s out of reach for the bill payer (that would be me.)

    We switched cell plans and it was horrible to cancel our previous plan. We actually ended up not paying the bill so they would turn off the phone. We expressed on serveral phone calls that we did not want the phone turned back on when we paid the balance. No dice. The final time we actually got hung up on 4 times while trying to cancel our plan.

  4. Ha. Ha. Did we just cross-comment on each other’s blogs at almost the same time? One of these days, we’re going to have to actually speak to each other, and I will personally welcome you into the bloghead fold (so affectionately dubbed by my very own blog-Stedman).

  5. I have so been there, done that. Both the stacks of useless mail intermixed with kid school papers, new credit cards, unpaid (oops) bills, etc. crammed in a corner to get them off the counter and out of the public eye AND the customer service agent back and forth. I thought I was going to have to scream at someonoe after it took 15+ minutes to convince them I did, in fact, wish to cancel my DSL account and sorry, was NOT interested in any of their counter offers. Too funny (in retrospect!)

  6. Oh, I love customer service agents. They’re always oh so helpful. Sense the sarcasm.
    Good luck with the mail thing. I totally feel your pain on that one.