I usually pile mail on the kitchen counter.
Over the holidays, if someone was coming over or a party was to be hosted, I just stuffed these piles into random, less visible places throughout the house. It was kind of a mail witness protection program. Yesterday in my grand start toward a more peaceful world, I started going through the 6 relocated piles of generally crap. It was my goal to take care of some of the details immediately so I didn’t have to go through said piles of crap another time…in effect, eliminating them forever or at least until I go get the mail again. One of the envelopes had my new Discover card that needed to be activated so I made that call:
Ring, ring. Enter 12 digits, enter 3 digits, enter 4 digits. Wait. Wait for “your card has now been activated”…nope, operator!
O: “Hi, this is _____ in Salt Lake City, UT” (in her defense, she really did sound like UT)
Me: I need to activate my card
O: please give me the 12 digits, 3 digits, 4 digits
Me: XXXX XXXX XXXX, XXX, XXXX (yeah, like I am publishing that on my blog–I do have some boundaries) (yes, these were the same digits that I carefully pushed in earlier)
O: I see you haven’t used your card since January of 2007, may I ask why?
Me: I put everything on my airline card
O: WE have an airline card!
Me: That is great, but I am pretty content with my credit card situation and don’t want another
O: Oh, it would just replace your current card
Me: No thanks, I am really ecstatic with my current situation
O: It’s a really great card!
Me: I am sure it is fabulous, but I am just on the phone to activate THIS card
***At this point this conversation continued back and forth repeating the last few lines***
Me: please, can I just activate my card?
O: Oh, of course! I am here to help! Oh! I see that you have $11 in cash-back bonus–wow that is really great!
Me: Super! Send it to me.
O: Oh, we can’t actually send you anything until you reach the minimum $25, but then you will get a great big $25 check in the mail.
Me: That will be a day I will dance in joy (OK, I wish I had said that instead I opened my big mouth and said…)
Me: That is the other reason I don’t use your card…you have to make a call after you hit the magic $25 to get a check and if you forget, you could lose it…that is a pain. Can’t you just add the money I accumulate in my big cash-back bonus pot to my account?
O: We can’t do that but we can do…(insert clever credit card scheme A)…(insert clever credit card scheme B)…(insert clever credit card scheme C)…(insert clever credit card scheme D)…
Me: Really, I am sorry for saying something, you asked earlier and so I am not trying to change the world here, I am just trying to get my card activated (I actually said that!) It is just that I don’t want to make another phone call to get my massive cash-back bonus award.
O: Well, you HAVE to make a call to redeem your miles on your other card…
Me: that is a little different, you make one call to purchase your tickets from the airline with the miles.
O: All I am saying is that you said you didn’t want to call and that requires a call
Me: OMG! Can I just get my card activated?
O: Oh, yes! I am here to help. I activated it at the beginning of this call…
You know that schedule that I touted yesterday? Well, it is now off by 35 minutes…