Are you wondering how to stop siblings from fighting? We’ve got you covered today with help from other parents that have dealt with sibling rivalry. It isn’t easy and they don’t always get along, but these tips are amazing and we’ve tried them all before sharing them with you to be sure that they work.
How To Stop Siblings From Fighting
- Listen to their feelings. Whenever my kids are fighting, I try to evaluate the situation. Is someone overly tired? Did someone have a bad day at school? Taking some time to really listen can help everyone understand each other more. Sit down and just TALK to your child (look them in the eye).
- Life is not always fair. With age comes different responsibilities and privileges. Everything will not always be fair. If you try to constantly create fairness, there will be frustrations.
- Ignore the small things, focus on the bigger things. Try to let your kids work out fighting over a toy (within safety limits). If they are struggling with coming to an agreement, announce that you are going to the bathroom and expect the issue to be handled by the time you return or there are consequences. Always address issues of one child victimizing another or put-downs. These need to be immediately and consistently worked through.
- Establish that your house is a safe zone. Our rule is that in our home we will speak love and encourage each other. We always want our home to be a safe zone where everyone feels loved and respected.
- Have family meetings. Holding regular family meetings (maybe every Friday before bed). This is a great way to teach and train your kids. Go over the expectations, act out different scenarios, and bond as a family.
- Invest in one-on-one time. I have noticed our oldest acts out more when he is in need of one-on-one time. We’ve even found signs to show us that they need one-on-one time. Keeping regular times of connecting with each child helps us to really bond and them to feel valued.
- Give each child a special box. Fighting over toys can be a common struggle. While we encourage sharing all around, there are special toys that can be kept in a special box. It is a plastic shoebo size and each child has their own. This teaches the kids to respect each other.
- Fighting over toys means that I take the toy. Nothing is more important than family and if a toy makes them fight, they lose the toy. I tell them, “I’ve taken the toy because it came between you and made you argue. Nothing is that important.”
- Praise the positive. Some days it can feel like you are constantly focusing on the negative. Make it a point to highlight the positive as well! When you notice them playing or someone being helpful, comment on that!
- Avoid comparisons. Siblings are naturally compared. It can be so easy to fall into comparing them. By avoiding comparing the kids, you are able to instill a self-value in each of your children.
- Don’t expect everyone to always be happy. The reality is that everyone is not always going to be happy. That is okay- we all have our bad days and moments!