Once upon a time Holly found herself with an
extra hour and 1/2 without three boys who she calls her children. Holly hardly could contain herself. She decided that she would take that time to do something fun for herself.
To pamper herself.
To give herself a hug.
She decided that she would go to the nail salon!
Holly walked into Pretty Nails and found that they had availability RIGHT THEN!
Yay for Holly.
Holly then noted that she was the ONLY person in the salon that didn’t work there.
Lucky, lucky Holly.
This was Holly’s third visit to the nail salon in 37 years
(averaging one visit every 12.333333 years).
Her first visit was right before her
wedding. She had a manicure with those faux nails. She then spent her honeymoon trying to rip off the faux nails one by one with her teeth because they were driving her crazy.
Holly doesn’t bite her real nails, just her faux ones.
Let’s just admit that she might suffer from
PTWFNS (Post Traumatic Wedding Faux Nail Syndrome) and assume that she is not at the nail salon for a manicure:
Yep! Holly is going to kick off her fancy boots for a
pedicure.
After a lot of hand motions, Holly gathers from the salon employee that she is supposed to choose what pedicure she wants.
Holly has no idea but decides that she wants to put her feet in warm water and she doesn’t want to mortgage her house to pay for it.
Let’s have a spa pedicure!
Holly is motioned into a massage chair made in heaven. Her feet are placed in clouds of warm water.
Wow!
This IS the life:
Holly is relaxing.
Holly is meditating.
Holly is basking in the sunshine radiating from her soul.
It occurs to Holly that the salon employees are
talking. And it is
serious. In fact, there might even be a bit of
yelling going on.
But Holly remains clueless as to WHY since the heated discussion is not in Holly’s native tongue.
And then there is some
screaming.
Oh,
that would be Holly as her foot is savagely attacked by a salon employee who is simultaneously
screaming at another employee.
The
screaming continues between the salon employees. No one in the salon has noticed that
Holly has joined in.
Then there was some
stomping.
And some
door slamming.
And then it got very quiet.
Holly looks up and she is still the only person in the salon except now there are no salon employees.
All the salon employees are outside the front door. All she can see through the door and window are wild hand motions.
And then the
door opened, a phrase that Holly recognized was uttered…
YOU ARE FIRED!
And then another
door slam.
These words were hurled at the very salon employee who had been working on Holly’s feet.
This salon employee then grabbed her purse and
slammed the door on her way out.
And then
it got quiet. Everyone came back inside. Another lady sat down at Holly’s feet.
No mention of what happened.
No comment as to the commotion.
It was almost like they expected Holly not to notice.
The end.
Holly walked into Pretty Nails and found that they had availability RIGHT THEN!
Yay for Holly.
Holly then noted that she was the ONLY person in the salon that didn’t work there.
Lucky, lucky Holly.
This was Holly’s third visit to the nail salon in 37 years (averaging one visit every 12.333333 years).
Her first visit was right before her wedding. She had a manicure with those faux nails. She then spent her honeymoon trying to rip off the faux nails one by one with her teeth because they were driving her crazy.
Holly doesn’t bite her real nails, just her faux ones.
Let’s just admit that she might suffer from PTWFNS (Post Traumatic Wedding Faux Nail Syndrome) and assume that she is not at the nail salon for a manicure:
Yep! Holly is going to kick off her fancy boots for a pedicure.
After a lot of hand motions, Holly gathers from the salon employee that she is supposed to choose what pedicure she wants.
Holly has no idea but decides that she wants to put her feet in warm water and she doesn’t want to mortgage her house to pay for it.
Let’s have a spa pedicure!
Holly is motioned into a massage chair made in heaven. Her feet are placed in clouds of warm water.
Wow! This IS the life:
Holly is relaxing.
Holly is meditating.
Holly is basking in the sunshine radiating from her soul.
It occurs to Holly that the salon employees are talking. And it is serious. In fact, there might even be a bit of yelling going on.
But Holly remains clueless as to WHY since the heated discussion is not in Holly’s native tongue.
The screaming continues between the salon employees. No one in the salon has noticed that Holly has joined in.
And some door slamming.
And then it got very quiet.
Holly looks up and she is still the only person in the salon except now there are no salon employees.
All the salon employees are outside the front door. All she can see through the door and window are wild hand motions.
It was almost like they expected Holly not to notice.
The end.
I’ve given you an award so come over and check it out. It’s just cause I like you so much… : )
(I even copy you and use the “…”)
I think that I’ll go for a manicure. I could use a pedicure too. But only if they’re all smiling and only if every one of them are smiling.
This is so funny. Great post. I am going to Twitter it. ๐
I am proud to say I have never had fake nails, but I have been in a restaurant waiting for lunch when every.single.person who worked there either got fired or quit. For reals. Four people in a span of ten minutes including the manager who called the owner to quit before storming out and leaving us poor patrons there all by ourselves. With an open bar. I won’t be finishing that story. ๐
I, too, suffered from PTWFNS-WTF was I thinking getting fake nails anyway? I spent the next few days soaking and ripping them off. I’d have been better off just having my tiny real nails done. It would have lasted longer!
Perhaps we both got married in the hey-day of fake french nails? I cop to 1996.
I love your animated posts!
Hee!
Meanwhile, the ONLY HAIRDRESSER IN TOWN has decided that she totally hates me and is giving me the silent treatment. Hmm?
So, you saunter in there with 12.3333333 years worth of toe nail growth, this poor woman has the audacity to complain about the task before her, and she gets fired. Meanwhile, you sit there in your portable nirvana. Really, Holly, I expected more from you.
(Okay – seriously – that was funny. Wait? Can I say that something was seriously funny? Once again you’ve confused me. Poor Blog Stedman.)
lol (for real!!)
i'm not even sure what to say.
i do know that i'm glad i just visited the bathroom before reading your blog.
you totally made my day. i'm cracking up here!!
out of your entire story… the most important part to me, since i too am a mom, is how in the hell did you get an HOUR & 1/2 to YOURSELF by YOURSELF???
you must share your secrets!! ๐
SERIOUSLY!!! I need to know!! please.
xoxoxox
Notice what?;)
I love, love, love it when you add drawings to your posts!
And..you’ve inspired me to write about my wacky adventures in nail salons. Hopefully I’ll have something written up by tomorrow. Is it ok if I put a link to your story in my story?
๐ Tami