when minivans attack (part I)…

It was December 28, 2007. Holly has just dumped lovingly left the boys with grandma. She is off for a fabulous day on the town ALONE to get ready for the big anniversary celebration she and blog-Stedmam are having the following day in honor of 17 years of blissful marriage. Today, she has a strenuous schedule of a pedicure, shopping and expensive coffee drinking planned. Did she mention that the boys not with her? Look at Holly! She is so excited. Good for Holly. Oh! And she is about to mail her LAST Christmas card of the 2007 season. It is going to be a VERY good day for Holly. Holly drives the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above to the end of the driveway. Holly steps out of the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above to mail her last Christmas card of the 2007 season. Holly returns to the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above and opens the door right into her forehead (see “X”). Yes, Holly opened the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above’s door right into her very own forehead that has been part of her body for more than 37 years (see close up “X”). Holly looks around to see if anyone witnessed such a silly event. Holly then realizes that blood is pouring out of the forehead. Holly pauses, applies pressure and thinks, “Crap. I am wearing my favorite sweater.” Holly gets into the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above and drives backwards to the house applying pressure to her forehead. Holly goes into the house and looks in the mirror to assess the damages to her forehead. Oh no! Holly is bloody. Holly is very bloody. Bloody, bloody Holly. Holly gently calls grandma. Grandma knows something is wrong when she sees Bloody Holly. Grandma suggests that she take Bloody Holly to the hospital. Grandma loads up the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above with all the boys and Bloody Holly. Let’s take a field trip to the hospital! In the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above, Bloody Holly calls blog-Stedman for advice. Blog-Stedman seems like a good person for Bloody Holly to call because he went to medical school and works at a world class hospital. Blog-Stedman says he will meet Bloody Holly in the parking lot of the world class hospital (see “X”). Bloody Holly arrives in the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above to the world class hospital’s parking lot and is met by by blog-Stedman, MD and blog-Stedman’s partner, MD. To be continued tomorrow… What will become of Bloody Holly? What will become of the world class hospital parking lot consult? What will become of Holly’s favorite sweater? Part II is here.