Part I is here – We left Bloody Holly in the parking lot of a world class hospital for a consultation with two physicians: blog-Stedman, MD and blog-Stedman, MD’s partner, MD next to the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above:

Blog-Stedman, MD and blog-Stedman, MD’s partner, MD have some medical opinions about what Bloody Holly should do:

Blog-Stedman, MD and blog-Stedman, MD’s partner, MD both agree after examining Bloody Holly in the parking lot of the world class hospital that she requires the care of a Plastic Surgeon. The world class hospital does not have a Plastic Surgeon.

For an added degree of difficulty, the day that Bloody Holly decided to get attacked by her minivan is the Friday before New Year’s Day weekend.

Holiday weekends result in less hospital staff.

Bloody Holly sure wouldn’t want to do something easy.

Let’s start the Great Plastic Surgeon Hunt of 2007!

Bloody Holly starts by calling 411 to obtain the number of hospitals close to the world class hospital whose   parking lot she is currently located.

When she finds out that the two closest hospitals do not have a Plastic Surgeon either, she starts calling hospitals a little further away…

YAY! Bloody Holly found a hospital whose receptionist thinks they might have a Plastic Surgeon on call.

Where is this hospital located?

 

The world class hospital #6 that according to the receptionist might have a Plastic Surgeon on call is located just 45 minutes away by minivan of death that looks like a boat from above.

Let’s go on a field trip to the hospital!

 

YAY! The minivan of death that looks like a boat from above drops Bloody Holly off at World Class Hospital #6 that according to the receptionist might have a Plastic Surgeon on call:

Bloody Holly fills out paperwork then sits in the ER waiting room of   World Class Hospital #6 that according to the receptionist might have a Plastic Surgeon on call.

She is then called in to the ER to fill out some more paperwork.

She is then seen by a very patient ER Physician who went to medical school, internship and residency only to be told by Bloody Holly that he could not sew up her forehead because she needed to see a Plastic Surgeon as instructed by blog-Stedman, MD and blog-Stedman, MD’s partner, MD.

The very patient ER Physician who went to medical school, internship and residency only to be told by Bloody Holly that he could not sew up her forehead admitted that the World Class Hospital #6’s receptionist might be exaggerating a bit by calling the Plastic Surgeon “on-call”.

The very patient ER Physician who went to medical school, internship and residency only to be told by Bloody Holly that he could not sew up her forehead said he would make a few calls on Bloody Holly’s behalf.

Thank you very patient ER Physician.

An hour later the very patient ER Physician who went to medical school, internship and residency only to be told by Bloody Holly that he could not sew up her forehead returned with an address of a Plastic Surgeon who agreed to sew up Bloody Holly’s head.

Bloody Holly consulted a map to see where the Plastic Surgeon’s office was located:

Bloody Holly called grandma who picked her up in the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above.

Let’s take a field trip to the Plastic Surgeon’s office!

YAY! The minivan of death that looks like a boat from above located the Plastic Surgeon’s office.

It appears that his North Texas location is very busy.

Bloody Holly walks in, well…all bloody.

Bloody Holly looks around and notices that a lot of very beautiful people have chosen this fine afternoon to sit in the very busy North Texas Plastic Surgeon’s office waiting room:

Bloody Holly sits in the very busy North Texas Plastic Surgeon’s office waiting room with all the beautiful people.

Her name is called very quickly.

Bloody Holly wonders if the fact she is bloody might have contributed to the speed of her waiting room exit.

Bloody Holly is seen by the very busy North Texas Plastic Surgeon:

YAY! The very busy North Texas Plastic Surgeon examines Bloody Holly and sews up her forehead.

The great Plastic Surgeon hunt of 2007 is over.

Holly returns home after 8 hours of Plastic Surgeon hunting.

When Bloody Holly isn’t bloody anymore she surveys the damage.

She, the artist, formerly known as Bloody Holly, sees this:

Figure A: What Holly’s forehead looks like without her hair.
Figure B: What Holly’s forehead looks like with her hair.

YAY! Holly’s hair covers up evidence of the minivan attack.

Holly can now go out on the town with blog-Stedman to celebrate 17 years of blissful marriage even though she didn’t get her pedicure, shop, or drink expensive coffee.

Please don’t ever expect a Christmas card…



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43 Comments

  1. hmm my nephew whacked his head on a scooter last year, he now has a perfect “baseball stitch” rounded scar that looks like he got hit with a fastball. they only had to take him 45 minutes to an hour (2nd hospital) to find a PS to stitch him up. how VERY odd, considering this is boonies boonies we are talking about and an hour is nuffin to get to a hospital, let alone a mall. i find it very odd you didnt have one ‘nearby’ hmm..

  2. Too Cute!
    And so many of my art students were worried about drawing stick-figures…I think they are perfect!
    Yay, Bloody Holly, Yay Blog-Steadman! Happy Anniversary!(belated)
    (hope you didn’t take the Mini-van of death out for your celebration)
    Pax, EJT

  3. Somehow I missed commenting on this yesterday…not sure how I let that happen.

    Anyway, you’re too funny. And talented. Is it just me or does Blog-Steadman look kinda like the guy from the Mac commercials? You know, the ones with Justin Long where he’s the Mac and the other guy is the PC?

  4. okay Bloody Holly… can I just say how jealous I am that I didn’t think up this whole drawing and illustrating my posts like this.

    *sigh* all of the good ideas are taken…

    ;0)

    You are too funny.

    xo ~K

  5. I have anointed you with the Philosopher-Mom magic blogroll wand. (Does that or does that not get the Angel Choir going again?)

  6. i too noted the great big bling on the beautiful person waiting with you…
    hahahaha.
    and i am sorry, being a shoe person, i actually need more than a crayola illustration of said super cute boots.
    glad all is well.

  7. can.not.breathe.

    send cute paramedic with oxygen mask to counteract laughing gas that is being emitted by june cleaver nirvana…

    (wait. i think that sounded a little creepier than i intended. well, send the cute fireman anyway)

  8. I’m still going over the illustrations. Seriously, I agree, children’s books. Or, how to manuals ๐Ÿ™‚

    You must be OK. I mean, you gotta be to come up with a brilliant post like this!

  9. Thank goodness Grandma was available to drive BH around. And, I’m giggling over the hospitals. There are too many nearby, aren’t there!?