The Mommy Perils of Facebook

I jumped on the Facebook bandwagon almost a year ago and it’s one of the most exciting things to have happened to me in years, right after the birth of my two children.

But this new-found time sucker is not without its hazards.

For example, Facebook either keeps you honest, or calls you out on your excuses and lies.

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You cancel on your friend for this morning's playdate, saying that little Jake has a bad cold. Later you post in your status update that your family had a great day at the zoo. Your friend, like almost everyone else you know, is on your facebook and reads this.

Busted.

Disclaimer: Just to be clear, that is not something I personally have done. But I know some moms that have. I’ve never, ever used my kids as an excuse to get out of an activity. Whoa, was that lightning that just struck?

A few months ago a friend of mine backed out of a casual afternoon coffee date, lamenting how she had way too much on her plate that day. But a couple of hours later, around the time that I would have been sipping a latte with my gal pal, she posted a mobile upload of her freshly painted tootsies from the nail salon where she was at getting a pedi with her mom and sister.

Being the smart alec that I am, I made a comment on her photo and called her out in a joking way and, of course, she had a perfectly good explanation. No hard feelings. But I learned from that experience that you have to be very, very careful with this little addiction called facebook.

Just this week I faced a new dilemma. My son had his birthday party and I wondered if I should post the pictures from our little shindig. Would I hurt anyone's feelings who wasn't invited? Obviously not a child's feelings, but we all know how personal we moms can take rejection on behalf of our brood.

And probably the worst thing yet, I was looking at an old college friend’s page and as I scrolled down her Wall, I saw that one of her friends posted a comment referring to hearing that she was having marital issues and hoped that they worked it all out soon. The way it was worded you could tell that the friend probably really didn’t realize this was being posted for all to see (she was probably a fb newbie). Hello, now it’s public knowledge! And even your old college friend whom you haven’t seen in 12 years knows about your marital woes!

So I am just wondering, what Facebook stories do you all have? Whether they happened to you or someone you know, I ™d love to hear them!

When Stephanie isn’t busy stalking old boyfriends on Facebook, you can find her at www.mommish.com.

7 Comments

  1. OMG. I love this. I will have to say my facebook is highly censored since I accepted my mom as a friend. Crap…she reads my blog and Burb Mom too…so, HI MOM!

  2. I had a BIG oopsie on FB. I was using my cell phone to access FB and I hadn’t done much of that before. We had just gone to my cousin’s baby’s 1st Birthday party, and I had posted a comment on her FB page about how much fun we had at the party and how beautiful her little girl is.

    Then, on MY facebook status (or so I thought) I commented that “Heather thinks her nostrils are uneven…”

    Well, since I was using my phone, I had posted that “status update” to my COUSIN’S FB page, in direct reply to the comment I made about the party!!!!!

    She knew I didn’t mean her daughter’s nostrils were uneven, but I felt SO horrible…I didn’t even catch it in the first place. My Hubby caught it and said “boy, that was rude!” and I had no idea what he was talking about until I went back and looked.

    ACK!

  3. Yes – Facebook is the tell-all. Love and hate it for that.

  4. I joined FB in college – back then it was only open to college students (this was 2005-ish) and I had so much fun reveling in my little secret society online. And then my co-workers started befriending me, and then my boss, and then my arch-nemesis from high school. So there I had to go and censor years of photos. Not that I had anything scandalous, but all of a sudden I felt super protective of my identity because I knew people who knew me from “before” I was a bonafide grownup and the people who currently knew me to be a grownup. Let’s just say the colliding of the worlds has definitely led me to be more diplomatic than ever!

  5. Another thing, who needs high school reunions now? You can find out everything you want to know from the privacy of your own home! And you can see what their house looks like, where they went on vacation, how cute their kids are…
    And yes, the co-worker slash Mom and all my other relatives (including my husband’s 94 year old grandmother) can all find out my business now. That part is not so very cool. Not that I have anything scandalous to hide, but you know.

    Oh – and I have made people that I have not talked to in fifteen years untag unflattering freshman year pictures of me so that they don’t keep showing up on my Photos of Me section. I have an image to maintain, people.

    And Happy Campers, love your story! Totally sounds like something I would do. Or probably have done and just don’t know it. Have you noticed how often people post things as their status and it’s obvious they thought they were writing it on someone’s wall? There should be a mandatory Facebook Training class.

  6. Mindy Howard says:

    The strangest thing happened in my facebook world this week…
    A good old buddy of ours changed his ‘relationsihp status.’ After 17 years of marriage, I do NOT want to find out that friends of mine have parted ways through a status change to “single.” boo. Maybe if people could quietly change their relationship status…you know, without broadcasting it to everyone they know? sheesh.

    And YES to the mandatory facebook training class! I think you’re onto something there.

  7. Then there is the peril of your CHILDREN being on FB…. I finally allowed my teen to have an account and I had to laugh as he wanted to set as many parameters around it as *I* did! Whether or which friends of his I could “friend.” What I could post on his wall, rules for tagging him in photos, etc.

    I must say, it pains me at times to not be able to post things like “BoyChild hanging out in his boxers watching football” or something that other Mommies would be amused by.

    So – it’s a good thing he doesn’t have the attention span to read my blog! 😉

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