“Life” can sometimes get in the way of a marriage, but we don’t want to see that happen! Try one of these things tonight and see what a difference it can make!
Touch base with your spouse often.
Send and “I love you” text to brighten his day, (or if you are extra adventurous you can make it a bit steamier and more flirtatious). Yes, it is hard to connect with some one that you hardly see or talk to. Gone are the days of early love when you had ever spare moment to be together. With children to juggle, careers and even home repairs and chores, time to spend together can be a rare thing. That does not mean you can’t make the most of the time you do get and make an effort to create more time by sneaking in those extra “love yous” via text or email while you are both working.
Look for the good.
It’s easy to get hung up on the annoying thing our spouses do. Sure, living with any other human you are going to find things to complain about. Instead of focusing on those things, look for the good. The fact that he goes to work everyday to help provide for the family. The way he plays with the kids. The way he looks at you. All of the happy, wonderful things that made you fall in love with him the first time. Remember those things, and thank him for them.
Let’s get real for a minute, the eye rolling has to go! Rolling eyes is a sign of contempt, now probably none of us would want to say that we want to make our husbands feel “beneath” us, but that is what we convey when we roll eyes at the things they say. You don’t have to agree with everything your spouse says, but show them respect by dealing with your differences in a respectful way so they can do the same!
Yes, we went there. It’s not just in the *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* sort of “sleeping together” though. Research has shown that sleeping near your spouse releases the love hormone oxytocin – it is the same hormone that helps bond mommas to their babies and will help bond both of you to each other with hormones as you sleep. So there are many benefits of being on the same sleep schedule.
Join them in their wins.
Celebrate with them when they achieve something! This goes down to even the littlest of things. If your spouse has passions that you do not share, try to at least show some excitement and joy for them in what gives them joy. No, you don’t have to love all the same things, but an acknowledgement of “I know how much this means to you, I’m so excited with you”, can make your spouse feel loved and cared for, most especially if they know it is not your favorite topic.
Do the unexpected.
Keep the spark alive with little surprises throughout the day or week. Those fun text messages we mentioned earlier or even post-it notes hidden throughout the home for them to find. The Dating Divas always have awesome ways to keep that element of surprise going even from home!
Lift them up.
Be a proud happy wife! Sometimes it seems like every one in the world is complaining about what a horrible man they married, don’t join in on this. Find ways to life your husband up, and talk highly of him, in front of him, your peers and your children.
10 Second Rule.
Kiss for at least 10 seconds every day. Enough with the simple pecks on the cheek or mouth, those have their time and place but that shouldn’t be all you are doing! Take the time (every one has 10 extra seconds, right?) to really SHOW him how much you love him.
Close the door.
Let some things remain a mystery. Keep that bathroom door shut! Enough said.
Put the phone away.
When was the last time you had a 5 or 10 minute conversation with your spouse while looking each other in the eyes the entire time? Eye-to-eye contact is virtually a thing of the past in our technology-centered world, but it does not have to be the case in your marriage. Have designated times each day (such as after dinner/before bed) that are phone-free times. No checking Facebook or football scores, just being present and active in one another’s lives.
Consider the clock.
Have you heard the phrase time is money? It’s also a way of showing love and respect to another person! Being late regularly can communicate that you don’t consider the other person’s time to be valuable. While that is probably not your intention, that can be unintentionally conveyed via your actions. Take the time to be prompt and keep your word when you agree to meet somewhere or do something together. Prioritize your spouse at the top of your list!
Hope all things.
Just because some one else is in a bad marriage (and talking about it a lot) does not mean that your marriage is bad! Believe the best about your spouse, don’t judge him by the mistakes of others. It can be hard if you are surrounded by people who disrespect their spouses, not to start seeing the worst in yours as well. Remember to see the best and believe the best unless you have good solid reasons not too (such as in cases of abuse of you or your children).
These are some fun ways that can help you answer the “how to love my husband” question. Love doesn’t have to be hard, but it does take being intentional about putting the other person high on your lengthy list of priorities and taking the time to learn how they understand love from you.