All through the house not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse. No one should be stirring! It was 2:30 am. Chirp. Chirp? I don’t hear anything. *pause* *silence* *keep listening* *nothing* Chirp. Chirp? CRAP. Where is it coming from? *pause* *silence* *keep listening* *nothing* Chirp. Chirp. CRAP. Where is it coming from? *turn on lights* We spread out to listen. The chirp. chirp. is not frequent. The chirp. chirp. is separated from the next chirp. chirp. by at least 90 seconds. 90 seconds feels like 10 minutes at 2:36 in the morning. We devise a plan. When we hear the first chirp. we are going to run around to see if we can figure out it’s origin during the second chirp. There is a lot of running and listening. There is very little chirp. chirp. origination identification. We run. Chirp. Chirp. We listen. Chirp. Chirp. After more running and more listening and more chirp. chirp.ing we finally narrowed it down to a smoke detector that we thought might be located near the middle of the house… There is a smoke detector in the middle of the house in the stairwell! Let’s sit down and listen. Chirp. Chirp. YEAH! Origination identification completed. I will go get a nine volt battery to place in the complaining smoke detector… I will go get a nine volt battery to place in the complaining smoke detector that is on the ceiling two stories up. I think I will also get a ladder. A tall ladder. Chirp. Chirp. That doesn’t look safe. That doesn’t look tall enough. Chirp. Chirp. Let’s have a strategic planning session at 2:43 am! It was like one of those corporate team building exercises. Without the corporation. Go team Nirvana! Get to the top of the 2 story ceiling and replace that nine volt battery in the complaining smoke detector and learn to trust each other… Chirp. Chirp. We planned. Chirp. Chirp. We built. Chirp. Chirp. We balanced. Chirp. Chirp. We overcame It took 2 wooden boxes, a large left-over piece of plywood, a 10 foot ladder, Holly’s yoga balance 2 steps above ladder manufacturer’s warning, blog-Stedman’s strong grip and a 9 volt battery to overcome the complaining smoke detector obstacle. Go team Nirvana! Team Nirvana figured it out. Team Nirvana deserves to go back to bed. All through the house not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse. No one should be stirring! It was 3:24 am. Did you hear a bang? Yes. Do you hear a chirp. chirp? No. Let’s go back to sleep! The next morning I looked up and saw this: That was 18 months ago. I am not about to get out the corporate team building exercise for anything but a chirp. chirp. Oh, and when I DO get out the corporate team building exercise for the chirp. chirp. please remind me to replace that burned out lightbulb…



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72 Comments

  1. Would it KILL the builders to place those things right at the top of the stairs, where the landing would make using a ladder to reach them completely reasonable? At least your picture story will make me laugh when I have my own 2 am battle against “chirp chirp.” Also? I am super impressed that you even have a spare 9 volt in your house. We never do.

  2. Why is it always the one two stories up that you can’t reach that decides to go off at 2:30AM? This week it was the one in our 3-year old’s bedroom…not as funny since he woke up crying trying to figure out why the house was on fire and no one had come to rescue him! Poor little guy will probably now have a complex related to child neglect for the rest of his life and we didn’t even have a real fire!

  3. Origination identification diagram two is my favorite. Because that actually illustrates the internal process I have going on AT ALL TIMES.

    How did you know? Can you see inside my head? Should I start wearing a metal colander?

    (It is possible that there should be fewer paranoia-inducing fruits and vegetables in my diet.)

    You should go to thereifixedit.com. Your solutions seems perfectly practical when compared to some of theirs.

  4. Curse those high ceilings!! I have a ceiling fan that has broken bulbs stuck in the sockets but I can’t get to it without my own “team building exercise”. I need one of those cherry-picker machines that they use to fix power lines outside…

  5. I’ve always wondered how people with those really high ceilings changed light bulbs and dusted & stuff.

  6. Why is it that smoke detector batteries only go out at 2:40 am? I think that is repayment for not changing all the batteries when we spring forward and fall back.