Divine Connection: For bone-weary Burb Moms who need to recollect themselves and reconnect to the divine.
Spring Break is over. The older kids are back at school. Husbands are back at work…and busy Burb Moms have a little time to themselves again. What do you do? Do you take some time to catch up with a friend on the phone or over coffee? Good!! This weeks encouragement is to take that time to strengthen your friendships because it can be a spiritual discipline that can strengthen your soul.
C.S. Lewis said, “Friendship…has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that gives value to survival.”
We have many different types of friendships in our lives. I know women who have a girlfriend they shop with, one they lunch with, one they workout with, one they go get a drink with after work…you get the idea. But specifically, I’m talking about spiritual friendships. I don’t just mean friends you have at church; I mean a friendship that encourages you to be all you are meant to be in God’s eyes…a friendship that encourages you in the love of God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. Do you have one of those? Are you a spiritual friend to another? It might look something like this:
- Share your spiritual journeys by reading and discussing the same books or studies
- Take spiritual retreats together or set apart time to discuss what is happening between you and God
- Pray for one another and for each other’s concerns
- Encouraging one another to service and supporting that service
- Providing a safe place to sharing each other’s truth
- Drawing awareness to God’s presence in life circumstances
- Drawing awareness to God’s presence in each of you
If you have ever had a friendship like this you thank God for it. It is a strong and mysterious bond that the bible describes this way: “Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.” (1 Sam 18:3) If you don’t currently have a friend like this, I encourage you to seek it…it will change your life.
If you’ve experienced the loss of such a friend then you know it is especially painful. It is a deep connection but sadly, it may not be lasting. We are after all, human beings; flawed, grace-needing, human beings. Don’t let that prevent you from reaching out again. If you need to heal such a loss I suggest an exercise patterned after David’s mourning of Jonathan’s death (2 Sam 1:17-27).
David sang a lament known for it’s famous line, “How the mighty have fallen,” In it, David outlines:
- Jonathan’s contributions to his life and the lives of others
- He states plainly the circumstances, the where and how, of what went wrong
- He states how he had loved his friend
- He states the depth of his saddness now
- He sings this song with others, a public acknowledgement of his loss
It’s helpful to get all this down on paper. You don’t have to sing it with a nation as David did, but it is important to have the loss acknowledged by at least one other. Often a ritual or ceremony signifying the release or letting go of such a relationship can bring closure. It’s important to take time to heal, but life is short. Forgive. Turn the page. Love some more. It is worth it…and it is a way we make a Divine Connection.
“What happiness, what security, what joy to have someone to whom you dare to speak on terms of equality as to another self; one to whom you need have no fear to confess your failings; one to whom you can unblushingly make known what progress you have made in the spiritual life; one to whom you can entrust all the secrets of your heart and before whom you can place all your plans!” ~Aelred of Rievaulx