There has been a lot on the news about the octuplets that were recently born in California.   I want to start by saying that I am amazed how far we have come with fertility medicine.   Not to mention, the amazing ability we now have to care for TINY newborns. As the mom of more than the average 2 kids, I can appreciate any person’s desire to have a large family.   I am one of those that never thought I would have more than two kids, but somehow found myself surrounded by little munchkins.   If all things were perfect I would have a few more.   I obviously have no issues with big families.   I think you should have as many children as you like…. That is…as many as you can truly support and take care of.   The mother of the octuplets said (in what little of the Ann Curry interview I have seen so far) that people are upset because she did this as a single mom.   Let me just come right out and say that I do not think THAT is the major issue here.   Most people I have talked to have the same issues   I do.

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(Nadya Suleman, the woman who gave birth to octuplets in January 2009.   Photo from www.time.com)

She already had six small children that she could not support alone.   Before people harpoon me by saying that she has said she never has been on welfare.   OK….she lied, but even so, she lives with her parents.   She stated that she will get by with help from friends, family and her church.   So, because she decided that six children was not enough she willingly took the risk to have multiples and is leaving it up to those around her to “help her out”.   We all get help from time to time from friends and family.   We get help with babysitting on occasion or a small loan to help us out from a parent.   But is it OK to continue to knowingly have children that you can not afford?   Is it OK to expect that others will help you out on a continual basis because you chose to do this? Not only that, but to take such a huge risk as to have multiples that could possibly require extensive care that, based on what has been released about this mother, she can not afford? Here is the one thing I can applaud her for…not turning to selective abortion once she found out she was carrying multiples. Having 14 kids is a great thing if you can support them and take care of them yourself.   But, having them for selfish reasons and then relying on others is not something I can support. Cross posted at Frazzled LaShawn



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2 Comments

  1. Amen LaShawn! I agree with you. I think the big problem here was a lack of planning. If someone had the resources I don’t think the size of the family is anyone else’s business. I just get concerned that people don’t plan ahead and end up relying on the goodwill of other people.

    Of course I am glad that she didn’t abort them. I also wouldn’t shun them if they lived next door…I just think she shouldn’t be rewarded with a bunch of endorsements, etc. It is not the children’s fault how they ended up here.

  2. I agree with you for the most part, LaShawn. The only thing I would like to add is, now that she HAS 14 children under the age of 8, do we all just turn our backs on this family…just because she had her kids for the wrong reason? I don’t think that’s fair either. I also applaud her for not choosing to abort any of these precious children, and can certainly understand her not wanting the frozen embryos to go to waste, I just don’t understand why she wasn’t willing to donate them to other couples who have a hard time conceiving themselves. That, to me is just plain selfish.