It was 9:15 this morning and I was sitting at my computer answering some emails. I looked out the window and saw a man in a stocking cap with his coat lapels up walking across my backyard.
A strange man.
I watched as he wandered back by the fence for a few minutes and then walked down to the creek where I could barely make out his figure behind the trees and bushes. If I hadn’t seen him disappear there, I wouldn’t have noticed him just a stone’s throw from my computer.
I hopped up and locked the back doors and looked out for my attack dog.*
*The only thing my 10 year old bulldog has attacked lately is a sandwich.
Since my attack dog appeared to be sleeping soundly on her back sunning her belly, I went to find my attack husband.*
*This space intentionally left blank.
Blog-Stedman and I started watching out the window as the stranger climbed out of the creek bed and circled the house to one side. The stranger would occasionally pause and once in awhile turn around a bit. We couldn’t figure out any scenario which would make it normal for him to be acting this way on our property…
So I called the police.
Approximately 3 seconds after I hung up with the police I realized that our lawn service truck was parked out in front of my house.
Approximately 5 seconds after I hung up with the police I saw the stranger go to the lawn service truck and pull out a rake.
Approximately 10 seconds after I hung up with the police I tried to call the police to RETRACT the call.
But it was too late.
Approximately 5 minutes after I hung up with the police I was standing in my front yard admitting to the officer that the stranger in my backyard was my lawn service.
In my defense, it wasn’t the right day.
In my defense, it wasn’t the regular guy.
In my defense, my lawn doesn’t even need mowing.