Children’s Advocacy Center of Denton County

This is a letter I received last month from my friend Marnie.   It has haunted me since I read it… Dear friends, neighbors, and colleagues, I ask that you please take a few minutes to read what I’m about to write.   Don’t read this while you’re driving, multi-tasking, sitting in a meeting or cooking dinner.   I need your full attention. When I was a child it was a big deal going to Kmart with my grandparents.   I’m sure it was a similar feeling to how most kids feel when taking a trip to Target or Walmart.   What made the trips to Kmart, outside of pleading with my grandparents to take my sister and me to the toy section, fun and full of adventure was the “Blue Light Special”.   One could always count on a special sale occurring in the store where the blue light was flashing to get attention.   My grandmother made this a memorable experience by having it be a mission during every trip to find the blue light.   Needless to say I have fond memories of those moments. Today I see a different blue light.   Over the past eight years, the Children’s Advocacy Center of Denton County has been a part of my life.   Whether I have spent time in the center, talked up their services and mission in the community, or suggested their services to someone in need, the center has always remained to be a big part of my life as well as my family’s.   If you are not familiar with the Children’s Advocacy Center of Denton County may I suggest you take a visit to their website to understand fully what they provide to our community, www.cacdc.org.   Generally speaking the center provides a variety of services for children who have been abused as well as support for non-offending family members. The center provides child abuse prevention services as well.   Honestly, the previous two sentences don’t give justice to what the center does, so I urge you to take the time to look at their website. Now back to that blue light.   When a child is interviewed at the center a blue light flashes in the hall to make people aware that a taped interview is occurring.   Children are interviewed by a trained social worker or other helping professional, while behind a one way mirror sits a variety of people who need to hear what the child says in order to protect and serve them.   These taped interviews allow the child to tell their story, once.   The tape can then be used to present a case towards a perpetrator. These types of cases can lead to a courtroom experience and no child wants to take the witness stand, so they don’t if a taped interview is available. Lately I have seen the blue light flashing almost every time I’ve walked into the center.   In fact, someone told me there has been an interview every day for the past several weeks.   I must admit that the blue light began to take on a negative connotation for me, it didn’t feel anything close to the feeling I got standing in a Kmart when I was a kid.   As a write this today, I have positive feelings when I see that blue light on in the center.   Shocking?   Let me explain… Years ago I worked in Chicago for their CPS, child protective services, system in some of the roughest and scariest neighborhoods.   Most families didn’t want to have anything to do with me and the kiddos I encountered looked at me knowing in their mind that I would be a temporary person in their life like all of the other social workers.   Eventually I gained the trust of some, I told the kids that my number one job was to keep them safe.   I delivered the same message every time whether it was a moment trying to convince them to wear a seat belt, not smoke, stop being promiscuous and the list goes on.   There is one story that sticks with me to this day, and probably is the main motivating factor for my involvement with CACDC.   I came into this girl’s life, or I should say she came into my life after being in the system for years and in several foster homes.   She was finally at a point where we had a family who was willing to adopt her, but we still needed to have her parents’ parental rights terminated.   In order to do this, she needed to come to court and speak to the judge.   This was necessary to add validity to the case and to confirm some of the documented history that was written in her record.   As we drove to the court house I noticed this girl’s body language had changed and she was very tense.   Once arriving to the court parking lot she said, “You know you told me your job was to keep me safe.   I believed you!   Today you are not doing your job. I don’t feel safe.   I don’t want to go sit in a courtroom, talk to the judge about what happened to me, and I sure as hell don’t want to see my so called parents.   So write this in your notes…today social worker didn’t keep me safe.”   I knew then and I know now that it was the system that failed her.   The original workers who started out with this child on the beginnings of her CPS journey didn’t have her interviewed.   I don’t know if it was a lack of availability or lack of will, but yes, the system failed her and at that moment she had to enter an arena where she didn’t feel safe. I now have a positive feeling when I see that blue light on in the center.   The child who is sitting on the other side of the door will tell their story and not be found sitting in a courtroom having to retell their story over and over.   The blue light represents keeping a child safe! I share this story with you because I know you are the type of person who chooses to make a difference.   I have accepted a chair position on the CACDC Benefit Gala: Champions for Children 2012 held February 18th.   This is the 3rd year for the event.   Last year the event profited $121,800 for the center and this year’s goal is to profit $150,000.   I realize I have left out one very important piece…the center doesn’t charge a single cent for the services they provide.   I have included some supporting documents for this event that can fill you in on some of the questions you may have. Please read below if you are now questioning how you can help.   I think you are bound to find something you can do.   The following are thoughts that come to mind, but know there are so many more… 1. Become a sponsor 2. Buy tickets and attend the Gala 3. Donate items and experiences for the live and silent auction 4. If you know a chef who would like to be part of the night, have exposure to over 600 people, and advertisement, tell them about this event. 5. If you have connections with professional sports figures ask if they would like to join the Gala list of celebrities 6. If you are in a bible study, bunco group, poker group, etc., see if you can pull your resources together and donate money, time, items or an experience.   Better yet, for your February gathering attend the Gala instead. 7. If you have some great connections who you think would make great sponsors please forward this to them, share my phone number or have them contact Dan Leal (the executive director of the center). 8. If you work with teenagers see if there is something they think they could do to make a difference. 9. Hmm, if you happen to be the coach of a local high school sports team maybe there is a great experience you can put together to auction off. 10. SPREAD THE WORD!!!!! This is just a small list.   If you have stayed with me to the end of this email I thank you and will simply close in saying, “We all wake up everyday wanting to make it the best one possible.   I can guarantee you that any attention you give to this event and/or the center not only makes it a great day for you, but for so many others”. Marnie More information about the Gala can be found on the CACDC Champions Website. More information about the CACDC. They have simple needs.   They have complex needs.   Please let Marnie’s words haunt you like they have me. When Nissan asked me a few weeks ago to drive a Quest, it sounded like a lot of fun.   When they added that they would be making a donation to the charity of my choice, I knew EXACTLY where that money needed to go. I am headed to the Children’s Advocacy Center of Denton County tomorrow on behalf of #HolidayQuest {Nissan} and She is Dallas. Tune in for more… {Nissan provided a loan of the Nissan Quest for this program, a gift card for my family as we use the vehicle, and a contribution to a charity of my choice in my community.}