I need to tell my story. I come to you because others have. They reported back that venting may not have changed HER ways, but was therapeutic.
I will start with a little about myself. I am a DaysAgo Timer. I attach by magnet or suction cup to various items and keep track of how many days ago you opened it, watered it, packaged it, etc. I am super handy. I am super cute. I am ingenious.
I was featured on Oprah and in Real Simple magazine the same week. That is where Holly saw me. That is where my troubles began. She zipped onto my website, ordered me and 10 of my closest friends and 3 days later we were hers. She distributed my friends as gifts and kept me.
She seemed nice enough. She was perky. She enthusiastically embraced me and my mission. She popped me onto a can and put me in the fridge.
47 days later she cleaned out the fridge, disposed of the can I was occupying and reset me onto another can.
64 days later she cleaned out the fridge, disposed of the can I was occupying and reset me onto another can.
83 days later she cleaned out the fridge, disposed of the can I was occupying and reset me onto another can.
Then I didn’t hear from her. At. All. Hello? Hello? Hello? Is Holly out there? It’s cold and dark (just when the door is closed–the light REALLY does go off) in here. It has been so long.
The light goes on. The light goes off. The light goes on.
She notices me. She picks me up. She takes me out of the fridge. She stares at me:
Yes, I am stuck on “99”. It has been so long that I have lost track of time. I know I am a timer. I get that. I was only programmed for 2 digits people. I was totally unprepared to live this nightmare.So an indescribable number of days later she cleaned out the fridge, disposed of the can I was occupying and reset me onto another can.
Are you kidding me? My life is ground hog day.
Chillingly yours,
Holly’s DaysAgo timer
P.S. Did I just hear Holly announce to the boys that they were having pizza buns for lunch? She must be stopped.
I think I’d do similar things with one. I am so proud of the timer for calling you out. And, what’s wrong with the BOYS having pizza for lunch so long as Holly doesn’t?
Holly help that damn timer. I feel for him I really do. Poor poor inanimate object.
Hmmm, I really don’t know if I want something else reminding me I need to clean out the fridge. I guess it would be better than guessing at how old it is.
This is hilarious! How do you think of these things. Brilliant.
Cool invention! This is my first time seeing one. That’s for taking it our of your fridge and sharing!
How funny!! I need me a few of those timers – very cool!! Cute post – as usual! See you soon. Kellan
well, i guess that is better that having to open the can and look inside of it (which is what i used to do…now everything get gets tossed edible or not).
Ok. I totally need to get one of those. Except I need to put it on my eliptical and my YMCA gym membership card. THAT would be scary.
How do we find ourselves in such a place, feeling guilty, suffering our own failures that have come to include neglecting the stuff in the refrigerator? Too funny though, too funny.
You have got such an amazing sense of humor, are adorable, and so darned clever. Glad you here and so glad you always stop by, even when I’m a skank and don’t visit you. I’ve been out of it – sickly – sad…so sorry. Regardless, I’m here – heart cha.