Welcome to BE-Attitude number three! In case you missed part one of this series, click here. In a nutshell, a BE-Attitude is a state of BE-ing in which you actively embrace specific can-do attitudes that focus on values, action and a positive emotional outlook. These BE-attitudes influence how successful you become in all areas of your life, from being a wife and mother to a business owner and community leader.
It’s 8:22 in the morning on Friday 11/4. I wrote the blog post below a couple of hours ago, proud of my kids, feeling all organized, trying not to be nervous about our big family expo tomorrow and hoping I am ready. This post is all about being ready, I am proud of myself for getting it written on time! Well, an hour after I wrote this, the morning started to fall apart. I am nervous and trying not to snap at everyone. It’s time to walk out the door to get kids to school and my son is playing Minecraft and has no shoes, socks or jacket. He starts crying and saying he can’t find the package of new socks I bought him YESTERDAY! How can you lose an ENTIRE package of socks??? So we found a dirty pair to wear, great! We get out the door, pull up to the elementary school to drop my daughter off and she shouts, “Oh no! I forgot my drum sticks!” She has drum practice after school today. I will be no where near the house anytime today. I sigh, try hard not to yell, fuss at her for not being READY and head home to get the drumsticks before taking my son to school. As I am driving, I had to laugh. The best laid plans, right? I can talk all day about how important it is to BE READY but sometimes, life just does not happen that way. So please read what I wrote below with a grain of salt, knowing that life is never perfect, I certainly am not perfect and we will live to see another day and try again.
What I am finding as I contemplate these BE-Attitudes, is how much I have learned from being a mom that has powerfully impacted my decisions, relationships and attitudes as a business owner. As a Mom, we are responsible for raising the future leaders of our country, for raising happy, healthy children that will make a positive contribution to their world and love what they do. It’s a big job and not always an easy one. I am so grateful for the lessons I have learned, though I don’t always feel that way when I am caught up in the heat of the moment with an unhappy child or an unhappy client! Like the time I walked out of Valley View Mall (back when the Dallas Children’s Museum was there) with a three-year old in full tantrum mode, screaming at the top of his lungs, “I don’t want to go home!” My face turned beet read as everyone stared and one old man glared at me as I walked by . It was nap time, I should have known better than to linger so long but I was enjoying lunch out with a friend and her daughter…
BE-Attitude number three is all about BE-ing ready!
How many of you struggle getting the kids out the door in the morning or getting them to shift from watching t.v. to cleaning their room or finding their soccer cleats? Readiness is a trait that moms value but not all kids do. So the final “R” that my children learned in kindergarten was one that had a positive impact on our home life, too. It helped us create a structure and a routine that everyone can follow so we walk out the door on time most days, with a minimum of fussing. Notice I said most days… with kids nothing is ever perfect, another life lesson I was able to take to my business.
At my children's school Be Ready means to show up to class on time, prepared with books, pencil and paper, a positive attidue and ready to go. Let's talk about your business and your personal relationships for a minute. Are you ready to have a difficult conversation with your husband? Your boss? Your employee? Being ready for me means being prepared to respond in the moment with respect and responsibility to any challenge that arises.
How often do you yell at your kids instead of taking a deep breath and responding with respect to something that happened?
Do you run away from confrontations at work or at home? I know I have in the past. There is no pause button in life, you cannot permanently hide or run away from problems.
There is a re-do button, though. When you don't feel ready, or you respond in a manner that you later regret, apologize and fix it. You will earn people's respect (especially your child’s) when you respond, accept responsibility and step up to say: I am ready now, can we try again?
Also, be ready means be prepared to embrace opportunity. Like a child in school, keep your mind open, be ready to learn, to grow and to accept feedback from others. When you shift your attitude and remind yourself that you are ready for whatever shows up in your life, you will be able to meet it head on. You will grow faster and have more fun and you will have fans and followers who love your readiness!
Practical Action Step:
Is there a conversation you are avoiding? Why? What are the possible outcomes? Stop avoiding it, the anxiety will waste time and creative energy. Schedule a meeting with that person, face to face or by phone. Take a deep breath. Visualize the best possible outcome. Take the anger and fear out of your voice and state your case calmly. Need some help in this area? Read Crucial Conversations. If you struggle with difficult conversations or confrontations, this book is a life-saver! It’s all about Starting with Heart!
Do you need to work on readiness at the home or office? Are you always running late, missing deadlines and forgetting to sign permission slips? It’s time to improve organization and commitment to readiness. One of my favorite professional organizers, Lorraine Brock of Get Organized is brilliant at helping families get on track. It’s so hard to do by ourselves sometimes. Last year, my husband and I worked with life coach and organizer Jenny Bair at Living Well Dallas to help us get back on track. Take baby steps.
Remember that you are modeling behavior for your kids and building a reputation in the workplace at the same time. Readiness builds credibility. Don’t be afraid to ask for help but do find a system that works for you!