Holly has been doing a lot of thinking. Holly has been doing extensive investigating. Holly finds that the best solution to her problem may be installing one of these:

porta potty

Holly has decided that a porta-potty, johnnie-on-the-spot, porta-john may be her only option. She has decided that this is the location for her new purchase:

porta potty location

Why would Holly who lives in a lovely suburban neighborhood in a house that could (but doesn’t) have a white picket fence with complete indoor plumbing choose to install a porta-potty, johnnie-on-the-spot, porta-john?

plunger needed for low flow toilet

It might have something to do with the plunger that is permanently attached to Holly’s left arm. Holly’s left arm is tired of plunging. Holly has noticed that she is starting to choose outfits in the morning based on whether they match the plunger attached permanently to her left arm. Holly is wearing green hoping that her green-wearing karma will overcome her low-flow toilet hating soul. Holly’s low-flow toilet hating soul is dark, very dark. Holly’s low-flow toilet hating soul is deep, very deep. Holly’s low-flow toilet hating soul is attached to a body sporting a plunger as a permanent fixture. Holly’s low-flow toilets seem to have something against the act of flushing.

toilet does not flush

Hey low-flow toilets…why are you so anti-flush? Holly also wonders what is the point of low-flow toilets if she has to attempt flushing them three kazillion times with intermittent plunging. Ironically Coincidentally, that is the exact same decibel (three kazillion) Holly’s voice hits when she hears, “Mommy! The toilet isn’t working!” So, until Al Gore dedicates his life to plunging Holly’s low-flow toilets or suitable alternatives in the United States of Low-Flow Toilets (US of LF T) are legal. Holly is planning this drastic action. Holly will no longer allow people to use the INDOOR toilets. Holly will lead them to the OUTDOOR toilet which never needs plunging despite the level of crap.

porta potty location

Holly can only hope that the proximity to the patio of the new porta-potty, johnny-on-the-spot, porta-john could encourage its use by a certain Holly’s dog…



You Might Also Like

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

98 Comments

  1. Ugh. Toilet not flushing is very…*shudder* Can’t blame you on the porta-potty. Just make sure it matches your house…because THAT is all it needs to be an attractive and welcome element in your yard.

  2. Holls. Call a plumber. We had some fancy high-tech, high power thing installed on all our toilets. I haven’t plunged in years…..

  3. Our new (to us) house was built in 1977. We moved in Dec 8. I’ve had the plumber out twice already. Basically, he told me the we have the worst toilets made in the history of….ever. They use oceans of water yet don’t work up enough, um, suction?, to actually flush much of anything. This means that if anyone here does anything of any *significance* in the bathroom, he (or she) must flush twice. Only it takes about two weeks for the tank to refill. Good times.

    I may actually be missing the LFTs that I complained so bitterly about in the former abode. I can’t believe I just typed that sentence.

  4. Holly, as a behavior analyst, I’d like to offer this plan: Place the portapotty near the dogpile. Let the dog adjust to it being there. Then closer. Wait. Closer. Wait. Then move the portapotty directly over the dogpile so the dog has no option but to use the portapotty! Voila — the whole family uses the same toileting system. (At present, I’m trying to train my dog to pee in the shower so I don’t have to take him outside. I’ll let you know how that works out.)

    1. I am so glad to have some reinforcement from an expert on my plan. It will be a glorious day when all works according to my plan :).

  5. HAAAAA! I just discovered your blog and I’m sitting at the table laughing and reading them to my husband. He particularly likes the one when your 7 year old said he wanted a dirty girl. LOL! I share your city, but have yet to see a beaver. Keep it up, girl. Oh, my plumber did a work-around for the crummy toilets.

    1. Thanks sooo much. That story about the dirty girl is one of my favorites. I love how parenting has become so entertaining. thanks for stopping by!