Part I is here… and this is a very complex story that would be difficult to jump right into. We left Bitter Holly in the hallway adjoining the important meeting room where she was sitting with other adults. She is talking on an emergency phone call from the electrician that installed her right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness. He showed up at her house about 133 hours outside of the given 12 hour service window. Bitter Holly soon figures out that the electrical company that installed her right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness was not paying attention when she told him on the phone:
  • what was wrong
  • the product number
  • the serial number
This makes Bitter Holly a bit more bitter. Bitter Holly’s reading audience will be relieved that she did previously attempt to change the light bulb and had ruled that out as a cause of the fruit bowl situation. The electrician doesn’t have the right part to fix the problem. He is going to go to his super secret electrician location to find the part and return later that day when Bitter Holly is home. Later that day in Holly’s sunny suburban neighborhood in a house that could (but doesn’t) have a white picket fence… Yay! The electrician returns. Imagine Bitter Holly’s shock when the electrician that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness says that the light is not working. Wow. Add super observant to his job title*. *For the purposes of this story, I am not adding super observant to his job title because I think his current title is long enough. Feel free to take note of this change and at home use whichever title you prefer.* Uh-oh. The electrician that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness still doesn’t have the proper part even after a trip to his super secret electrician location. He offers to change out a few bulbs that are burned out. He also changes the bulbs in the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing Holly’s fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness. Bitter Holly doesn’t ask questions. Bitter Holly bitterly looks on. Bitter, bitter Holly. The electrician that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing Holly’s fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness states that he will return with the proper part after ordering it from the super secret electrician location. He says he will call Bitter Holly when it is received. Bitter Holly knows she will never see him again. Bitter Holly is facing the new fruit bowl reality. Bitter Holly would have waved when he left, but she was using all her energy being really, super duper, extra-strength, extraordinarily bitter: *A few weeks later* Bitter Holly stomped out to get the mail (that is what bitter people do). Bitter Holly notices an envelope from the electrical company that installed the right under-cabinet light currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness: Huh? Bitter Holly looks a little closer: Bitter Holly looks and sees that $279.50 was billed for changing 4 light bulbs. Bitter Holly also notices that she was charged for the labor of 2 men. Bitter Holly wonders if one of the electricians was invisible. Bitter Holly wonders if the invisible electrician might have been able to fix her right under-cabinet light if she was able to locate him. She assumes he must be at the super secret electrician location. Bitter Holly has this reaction: Bitter Holly Rolls On the Floor with Laughter. (ROFL). Bitter Holly rolls. Bitter Holly laughs. Bitter Holly is down-right hysterical. Bitter Holly continues to giggle for days. Bitter Holly laughs so long that the bitter label no longer is applicable. Holly then decides to spread the cheer by calling the electrical company that installed the right under-cabinet light that is causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness. The electrical company that installed the right under-cabinet light currently causing Holly’s fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness did not find the whole situation as funny as Holly did. They did agree not to charge Holly $279.50 for changing 4 light bulbs. They did agree that Holly would not be charged anything until the problem was actually fixed. Holly got the impression that a big black mark would be going through her name and posted by the phone at the super secret electrician location. That is OK with Holly. She isn’t bitter about it or anything. Legend has it that if you visit Holly’s house today you will see this: Holly let the left under-cabinet light bulbs burn out. Now the darkness is symmetrical which makes Holly much happier. Holly’s fruit bowl is empty which is OK because you can’t properly appreciate all that fruit when it is so dark.



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42 Comments

  1. I’m pretty sure the brother of your electrician did a little work on our pool light…

    Scary similarities only under water. lol.

  2. You want me to get David to come look at it. He usually doesn’t install under counter lights over fruit bowls because he is a new commercial construction electrician, but he is awesome and fixes stuff at our house all the time. Too bad we don’t live closer.

  3. Wow that reminds me of my latest post you just commented on about the $432 bill for the temp and BP reading

  4. Wow. That was great! Well, in an animated sense, not in the “they want to charge you $279 and STILL not fix the problem!” sort of way!

    You, clearly, rock.

  5. You know, maybe I could stop turning to frosting and chocolate every time I am bitter. Are those markers the smelly kind? Do they soothe you? Maybe I’ll try that.

  6. Damn, mommeeof9–that is far too impressive that you know how to do that! You make the rest of us womenfolk look clueless 😉