Welcome to BE-Attitude number two! In case you missed part one of this series, click here. In a nutshell, a BE-Attitude is a state of BE-ing in which you actively embrace specific can-do attitudes that focus on values, action and a positive emotional outlook. These BE-attitudes influence how successful you become in all areas of your life, from being a wife and mother to a business owner and community leader.
In part one I talked about the Three R’s my kids learned in elementary school: to be respectful, responsible and ready. I have to tell you that I never thought my son would learn responsibility. I despaired of him ever accepting responsibility for his actions. Like sibling rivalry, failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions is one of those things that can throw this momma into a rage (yes, I am learning to control this and to treat my children with respect but for some reason, I really struggle with this particular topic.)
My son is 12 now and in middle school. I had one of those aha, super proud mom moments last week. My son came home with his first detention ever. So why was I proud of him? He calmly explained what happened (he was running in the hallway at school and didn’t slow completely down when asked to by a teacher,) he explained what the detention would be, I signed the paper and we moved on. Later he told his Dad. Neither of us got angry or overreacted, we all calmly discussed it. Conner even decided his own punishment (I wasn’t going to punish him at all but don’t tell him that.) Most importantly, he accepted full responsibility for what happened. I never thought I’d see the day! The next morning on the way to school, I realized that was why I was able to overlook this detention and see it as no big deal. For the first time, he accepted 100% responsibility for his action, didn’t blame his friend who was chasing him through the hall and even admitted to his teacher that he had started the incident. Hallelujah! All the lectures, teaching and modeling accepting responsibility are working! I hope it lasts!
BE responsible: do you accept 100% responsibility for everything that is happening in your life or your business right now? Do you tend to blame the economy, the neighbor, your spouse, or the past for the problems you are facing? Jack Canfield writes, If you want to create the life of your dreams then you are going to have to take 100% responsibility for your life…That means giving up all your excuses, your victim stories, all the reasons why you can’t and haven’t up until now…You have to give them all up forever. My son is 12 years old. I cannot say my weight problems are the result of baby-weight! If money isn’t flowing in like I want it to, did I make all my sales calls this week or send out invoices in a timely manner? No one can make decisions or take action for us. No one can make us feel anything, only we can choose our feelings and determine our actions. At the end of the day, we are the ones spending the money, eating the ice cream and making excuses. When you begin to accept complete responsibility for every part of your life, success will follow. The right people, clients and advocates will be drawn to you. Looking for a life partner or a spouse? This applies to you, too. Where in your relationships are you not taking full responsibility for your actions and emotions? Be willing to admit to your children, your spouse or your business partner and clients when you make a mistake. This increases your credibility and earns you trust and respect. To be a successful woman takes work, are you ready?
Practical Action Step: Write down two specific areas in your life where you are not accepting 100% responsibility for your actions. Commit to making one small change this week in each area. For example, your health. Perhaps you are overdue for the annual physical, dental cleaning or are avoiding exercise like the plague. What one thing can you do this week to improve your health? Are you behind on paperwork and paying the bills? Pick one morning and pay all your bills! If you want people to pay you on time, return the favor!