One of the many topics I am passionate about is helping women honor and embrace their success in business. The other topic I love to talk about is kids and honoring our responsibility to raise happy, healthy children. Over the next few weeks I am going to share my BE-Attitudes with you. A BE-Attitude can be defined as state of BE-ing in which you actively embrace specific can-do attitudes that focus on values, action and a positive emotional outlook.
BE-attitude is a play on the term beatitude which comes from the Gospel of Matthew where Jesus gave his famous Sermon on the Mount and pronounced the 8 famous Beatitudes. If you read Jesus’ teachings carefully, he is not offering platitudes but a way of living and being in the world that takes commitment and action. Never heard of the beatitudes or have forgotten them, click here to read more.
The first BE-Attitudes I will share are ones that I learned from my kids and that I feel have a tremendous influence on who I want to be as a business leader, wife and mother but also what I want my children to practice in their lives.
What I love most about our local elementary school in Plano, TX is the BE-Attitudes that they are teaching the children from the first day of kindergarten, which are centered on the Three Rs and I am not talking about reading, writing and ‘rithmetic. The three Rs stand for Respectful, Responsible and Ready.
So the first BE-Attitude of a Success Woman is to BE Respectful!
Be respectful: embrace the Golden Rule in every aspect of your life and business. Treat others as you would have them treat you, this is not a trite platitude but a gentle reminder that we get back what we put out into the world. Do you treat your clients, your spouse, your children, the clerk at the grocery store and the sales person at your front door with equal amounts of respect? How often are you rude or inconsiderate or just not paying attention? Lack of attention to others is a form of disrespect that causes disconnection and distance. I don’t know about you, but I want to be closely connected to and respected by my clients, coworkers and more importantly my wonderful husband and precious children. Yes, those teenagers playing loud music next door are annoying, but treating them rudely doesn’t teach them how to solve problems respectfully. Yelling at your children or your staff only teaches them to be afraid of you or to fight back. If we want to be seen as true leaders in our families, communities and businesses, we have to treat everyone with loving-kindness and respect! Modeling respect allows conversations to happen and for situations to improve, relationships to grow closer and success to occur.
Example: One of my personal challenges as a mom is dealing with Sibling Rivalry and watching how poorly my children often treat each other. When they fight, it grates on my nerves and I want to scream at them! I have to reflect and say, am I modeling that behavior by treating my children with disrespect? There have certainly been times when I shouted because I was upset and it had nothing to do with my kids. I have learned to apologize to them and let them know I made a mistake and that they deserve to be treated with respect. How do I know this is working? When I see them treating other kids and adults with kindness and respect. One of my good friends and a super mom reminded me that siblings often use each other as a testing ground for learning how to resolve conflict and to test behaviors. I would certainly rather they learn these behaviors at home and not “test” being disrespectful with friends or teachers. When they do get into an argument, I try to take a deep breath and use it as a teaching moment to talk to them about respect and reflect on how they want to be treated by others. Respect is a two-way street that starts with us first.
Practical Action Step: Set a goal this week to be nice to everyone you meet, to take an extra minute to pay attention and genuinely listen to them. This includes clerks at the store, sales people and of course, your family.
Come back next week for BE-Attitude number two!