Part I is here – We left Bloody Holly in the parking lot of a world class hospital for a consultation with two physicians: blog-Stedman, MD and blog-Stedman, MD’s partner, MD next to the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above: Blog-Stedman, MD and blog-Stedman, MD’s partner, MD have some medical opinions about what Bloody Holly should do: Blog-Stedman, MD and blog-Stedman, MD’s partner, MD both agree after examining Bloody Holly in the parking lot of the world class hospital that she requires the care of a Plastic Surgeon. The world class hospital does not have a Plastic Surgeon. For an added degree of difficulty, the day that Bloody Holly decided to get attacked by her minivan is the Friday before New Year’s Day weekend. Holiday weekends result in less hospital staff. Bloody Holly sure wouldn’t want to do something easy. Let’s start the Great Plastic Surgeon Hunt of 2007! Bloody Holly starts by calling 411 to obtain the number of hospitals close to the world class hospital whose   parking lot she is currently located. When she finds out that the two closest hospitals do not have a Plastic Surgeon either, she starts calling hospitals a little further away… YAY! Bloody Holly found a hospital whose receptionist thinks they might have a Plastic Surgeon on call. Where is this hospital located? The world class hospital #6 that according to the receptionist might have a Plastic Surgeon on call is located just 45 minutes away by minivan of death that looks like a boat from above. Let’s go on a field trip to the hospital! YAY! The minivan of death that looks like a boat from above drops Bloody Holly off at World Class Hospital #6 that according to the receptionist might have a Plastic Surgeon on call: Bloody Holly fills out paperwork then sits in the ER waiting room of   World Class Hospital #6 that according to the receptionist might have a Plastic Surgeon on call. She is then called in to the ER to fill out some more paperwork. She is then seen by a very patient ER Physician who went to medical school, internship and residency only to be told by Bloody Holly that he could not sew up her forehead because she needed to see a Plastic Surgeon as instructed by blog-Stedman, MD and blog-Stedman, MD’s partner, MD. The very patient ER Physician who went to medical school, internship and residency only to be told by Bloody Holly that he could not sew up her forehead admitted that the World Class Hospital #6’s receptionist might be exaggerating a bit by calling the Plastic Surgeon “on-call”. The very patient ER Physician who went to medical school, internship and residency only to be told by Bloody Holly that he could not sew up her forehead said he would make a few calls on Bloody Holly’s behalf. Thank you very patient ER Physician. An hour later the very patient ER Physician who went to medical school, internship and residency only to be told by Bloody Holly that he could not sew up her forehead returned with an address of a Plastic Surgeon who agreed to sew up Bloody Holly’s head. Bloody Holly consulted a map to see where the Plastic Surgeon’s office was located: Bloody Holly called grandma who picked her up in the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above. Let’s take a field trip to the Plastic Surgeon’s office! YAY! The minivan of death that looks like a boat from above located the Plastic Surgeon’s office. It appears that his North Texas location is very busy. Bloody Holly walks in, well…all bloody. Bloody Holly looks around and notices that a lot of very beautiful people have chosen this fine afternoon to sit in the very busy North Texas Plastic Surgeon’s office waiting room: Bloody Holly sits in the very busy North Texas Plastic Surgeon’s office waiting room with all the beautiful people. Her name is called very quickly. Bloody Holly wonders if the fact she is bloody might have contributed to the speed of her waiting room exit. Bloody Holly is seen by the very busy North Texas Plastic Surgeon: YAY! The very busy North Texas Plastic Surgeon examines Bloody Holly and sews up her forehead. The great Plastic Surgeon hunt of 2007 is over. Holly returns home after 8 hours of Plastic Surgeon hunting. When Bloody Holly isn’t bloody anymore she surveys the damage. She, the artist, formerly known as Bloody Holly, sees this: Figure A: What Holly’s forehead looks like without her hair. Figure B: What Holly’s forehead looks like with her hair. YAY! Holly’s hair covers up evidence of the minivan attack. Holly can now go out on the town with blog-Stedman to celebrate 17 years of blissful marriage even though she didn’t get her pedicure, shop, or drink expensive coffee. Please don’t ever expect a Christmas card…



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43 Comments

  1. Oh thank goodness….I can unclench my hands again.

    There was fretting. Yes, there was. Over the sweater, the boots, the hussy who tried to steal your husband while you were in a coma…

    However, I note that you wasted a perfectly good trip to a plastic surgeon on a HEAD LACERATION. Woman…I would have insisted on something being lifted, too. Or tucked.

  2. very impressed that your super cute boots did not appear to be blood tainted. but i’m worried that you got from one hospital in north texas to two other hospitals in north texas by way of almost kansas. (if the really big arrow is to be trusted)

    oh and wonderful artwork. you can probably sell them.