The breakfast champion…

Fig. A:*Do as I say, not as I do.*

I have been a big believer in something I came across while pregnant with Ryan. I read every parenting book ever written during that time so please don’t make me tell you which one it was, but I think it was in the “Baby Whisperer”. The quote is lost on me, but it said something to the point that you need to START as you plan to PROCEED.

The technique is really successful. Most things in this house have been parented in this way…naps, bedtime, sitting at mealtime, snacks only in the kitchen, etc. The kids are too young to argue when you implement it and then when they reach arguing age it is the way it has always been done so the debate doesn’t surface.

One area has NOT received this technique. Breakfast. It started out innocent enough. Breakfast seemed to be the time that I had the most time. Breakfast seemed to be the time I could break a few rules. Breakfast became the time the kids could choose what they wanted to eat. Breakfast is now spiraling out of control. Breakfast is now a crazy train and I want off.

Let’s take a look at Fig. A (above):
Our subject is a 2 y/o who woke mommy up at 6 am. saying, “EAT!”. His patient mother held off that demand for 30 minutes because it is SATURDAY. At 6:31 am the subject ate 1 1/2 bowls of instant oatmeal and 1/2 cup of soymilk. He then yelled, “DONE!”

Approximately 23 minutes later he returns to the kitchen, pulls the Quaker oat box out of the pantry and demands “OATMEAL”. His patient and attractive mother quietly explains how he already had oatmeal. “THIS OATMEAL!” he screams. His patient, attractive and loving mother thinks to herself, “well at least he is screaming for something healthy…I guess I can’t turn that down”. PAUSE

*Do as I say, not as I do.*

7 minutes later the oatmeal is made. The oatmeal is portioned and set in front of subject. Subject screams, “FRIDGE! HOT!” His patient, attractive, loving and helpful mother delivers the child size oatmeal portion to the freezer to cool down. PAUSE

*Do as I say, not as I do.*

Subject continues to be a royal pain in the butt while the oatmeal is in the fridge. His patient, attractive, loving, helpful and opportunistic mother then grabs the camera to take the Fig. A picture of this tyranny. PAUSE

*You can do this. If you are suffering at the hands of your children and losing control, it can at least give you a blog subject for the day. It is kind of a lemonade out of lemons thing.*

His patient, attractive, loving, helpful, opportunistic and harried mother takes the child size oatmeal portion out of the freezer and gives it back to the subject. The subject takes 5 bites and yells, “TOAST!” PAUSE

*Do as I say, not as I do.*

Ya, the freaking crazy mother made toast while Figs. B and C entered the kitchen.

*Let’s just leave it at do as I say, not as I do…