Yesterday, I had to substitute teach and lead in a cub scout den at my church. I think I briefly got a vision of what hell is like. In addition to the small group of six boys that I was prepared to teach, the missionaries dropped off five more. Two of which decided to tell the rest of the class about the dangers of cocaine and cooking stuff on a spoon. And whiskey.
As you may have guessed, the topic being discussed last night was on good health and nutrition. Because we have a Latter-day Saint cub scout pack, our lessons are geared towards an LDS audience. I decided to add in the topic of the Word of Wisdom thinking it would fit in nicely with what was being discussed and help the boys earn more requirements. I found a pretty cool lesson guide online and added in a few ideas of my own. One of the teaching tools suggested in the online lesson was to make cupcakes at home and fill some with dirt. After some were baked with dirt in them, I was then to frost the good cupcakes with just a little frosting and the bad cupcakes with dirt in them with lots of frosting and generous sprinkles. I then showed the boys the cupcakes and told them that I thought they ought to eat the cupcakes with less frosting because they were better for them and that I wouldn’t eat the sprinkled cupcakes because they were unhealthy, but that they were free to choose whichever ones they wanted. The object of this lesson was that some people will try to make things like alcohol and drugs seem appealing, but really it's bad for you.
The only problem with this lesson is that only one boy, a new boy, noticed the dirt.
In fact, two boys (regulars) had already completely eaten their cupcakes by this time and one even continued to eat it even after I told them there was dirt inside!
The rest of them spit cupcakes all over the table.
Thankfully, the regular teacher showed up right as I was explaining the object of the lesson because her husband had called in reinforcements.
The rest of the evening went much better, although extremely noisy. We only had to fish boys out of the bathroom once and I resisted the urge to give the missionaries the stink-eye. Later we discovered that only two of the five should have been in our classroom, so if they show up again (which we’d love to have them do), then there won’t be so much chaos. We ended our health lesson, complete with a food pyramid and menu plan, with a healthy snack of strawberries, cantaloupe, pineapples, grapes, and blueberries, similar to this healthy snack featured on Living Locurto.
Next time I sub in cub scouts I’m bringing body armor.