Do you ever see something on the internet and have to read what you saw twice because it was such a head scratcher? That is exactly what will happen here…
A Philadelphia couple expecting a new baby (their first child) is asking neighbors to do chores and provide meals for them once the baby is born.
Now, if you immediately rolled your eyes, I am with you and so are many others. In fact, the couple is receiving all sorts of backlash on social media since this is where they posted their request.
I just keep thinking that in the time it took him to write up that list, he could have made a bunch of meals in advance and froze them.
— Rhonda Bentz (@RhondaBentz) April 20, 2019
She’s not wrong.
#MealTrains are great! Supporting new parents is great! But, uh, normally it’s the *friends* of the new parents that support them with a Meal Train. I have never, ever, seen anything as bizarrely entitled as this. Good neighbors will help each other, yes, but this…is…?
— Jason Dunn (@jasondunn) April 19, 2019
Yes, they posted this request on the internet for the world to see. Actually, they posted it on Meal Train which is a giving website sort of like GoFundMe.
This was their post on their Meal Train page (it has since been deleted):
The description reads:
“As the father-to-be, I’m teetering on a fence of emotions. On one side is joy and excitement, of course, but on the other side is a great deal of fear! One of the things I’m most afraid of is not getting a great deal of sleep and as a result not being in the best frame of mind to offer my wife the support she needs to recover from the child-birthing process.”- Jim Burns, father-to-be
Okay, let me stop right there – I get that and it seems at first that he just has the first time dad nerves. Something we all can relate to (mom nerves are real too).
Most dads would say this either to family, friends and maybe even post it on social media but his continued message, is what really bothers me…
“That’s why I’m putting together this “Meal-Train” or “Mental-health check-in Train” or “Do you need any help today train.” A meal would be awesome. If you feel comfortable reaching out before you arrive to see if we might need anything else – that’d be even more awesome.
Neither of us are particularly extraverted or easy with direct asks for assistance – but having some postpartum support pre-arranged will serve our comfort levels as we move into this new phase of our existence.
The official due date is April 29th. Check out the “Special Instructions” section to for important drop-off and visit information as well as a collection of meal and snack ideas.”
Let’s process this – the dad claims nether of them are “extraverted or easy with direct asks for assistance” however, this is the most extraverted way I could think of to ask for assistance.
But what really gets me is where he was talking about “special instructions” because you see, it’s not just something like, “hey, we have a food allergy” he literally laid it out that he wanted extravagant meals (by posting 30+ meal recipes) and told people if they didn’t want to be bothered, he’d leave a white cooler outside the house for meals to be dropped off in.
This guy then tops it all off be telling us we can sign up for a day to text, and if they decide they would rather not see people, WE CAN COOK THEM A MEAL AND LEAVE IT FOR THEM IN A COOLER HIS WILL PROVIDE IN THE YARD BECAUSE HE COULDN’T BE BOTHERED ANSWERING THE DOOR pic.twitter.com/FXtNRgVa8Z
— JJ (@JJFromTheBronx) April 18, 2019
And then even said people could do chores from them and that would nourish as much…
Look, I just had a baby a few months ago and we had offers for help. Most of the time I would politely decline but when we did have friends and family bringing us meals, I never once asked for something specific or told them to leave it in a white cooler outside.
I did communicate and tell them what day/time would be best to stop by in case the baby or I were sleeping. But, I always welcomed people into my home to visit.
Most importantly, I NEVER expected someone to bring me food or do my house chores just because I had a baby and I also had surgery (had my tubes tied) right after my daughter was born.
Personally, I think it’s a nice gesture for someone to offer to bring meals or ask if new parents need help but it should never be expected especially from strangers (from being posted on the internet) or even neighbors.
I’m curious to hear what other parents think… is this request unusual?