How to Teach Kids Empathy

Teaching empathy to children is so important. Just like we teach our children to have self-control, we can teach them to have empathy for others.

In our house, good grades are great, but they’re not the most important thing. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that they’re not even the second or third most important thing.

For us, the keys to success are character and kindness. Part of that is having empathy for others.

How to Teach Kids Empathy

By Webster’s definition, empathy is the “action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.”

In other words, empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and imagine how something would make them feel, or how it would make them react.

It sounds easy, but teaching kids about empathy isn’t as simple as it seems. Our words become their inner voices, so we need to work hard to be the example that our kids need… and we need to teach our children how to treat others.

Teaching Kids About Empathy

A study by Psychology Today shows that while humans are naturally egocentric, it is possible to train the brain to have compassion and empathy.

In fact, When I was a teacher, I had a 5th-grade student who had damaged her cerebral cortex, and had absolutely no empathy or compassion for others.

We, as a team, worked hard on empathy throughout the school year. By the time May rolled around, she had developed friends, and was able to step outside of herself and show empathy to others. It was a step in the right direction!

 

Use an Acronym to Teach Kids About Empathy

To focus on the idea of empathy, we used keywords and phrases that started with each letter of the word.

E – Everyone Needs a Friend

Even kids who struggle with empathy and compassion can grasp the idea of friendship, and the desire to have someone with whom to share things. We talked about how empathy means letting others rely on you and, sometimes, relying on others.

How to Teach Kids Empathy

M – Make an Effort

Make an effort to understand how someone else is feeling by restating their situation, or imagining yourself in their place. My daughter calls the imagining “mind movies”. She reenacts the situation in her head, but puts herself in the shoes of the other person.

P – Put Yourself in The Other Person’s Shoes

Not only is it important to understand the situation, it’s also vital that kids really imagine how they would feel in that same situation. This helps them recognize their own feelings, and then develop compassion for those who are upset.

A – Ask

Empathy is great, but the next step is action, and that means asking if you can help. It’s important to stress to kids that sometimes there may not be anything that they can do. Yet, the act of asking can, and will, mean a lot to the person who is having a difficult time.

T – Think First

Thinking about how words or actions will impact the person they’re interacting with first is a huge skill that must be taught. Our human minds are so egocentric (think about the toddler grabbing everything and yelling, “MINE!”), that we have to work on developing the ability to step back and look at situations before reacting. Most adults still need practice too, so be sure to let kids know that they’re not alone!

H – Help or Harm

Our words and actions can only do one of two things in life – they can lift people up, or they can put people down. When teaching kids about empathy and compassion, framing actions and words in those two very basic scenarios can make it clearer for them to understand.

Y – You Both Feel Better

One of the things I love to stress with kids is that kindness, compassion, and empathy not only make the person who is the receiver of them feel better, they also make the giver feel better too. Connecting with someone in times of struggle, and helping them navigate… From a lost dog to a skinned knee, or a day that doesn’t go as planned, makes everyone feel just a little bit better.

 

Teaching kids about empathy is a long process. One that needs to be modeled constantly. The good news is that, as you work on helping kids develop empathy, you’ll find that the rewards and feelings of accomplishment when they have that lightbulb moment and finally get it will be the greatest gift of all.

More Parenting Topics of Interest

Parenting really does take a village, my friends, and we have your back! 

What methods have you used to teach your children empathy? Comment below!

One Comment

  1. Words matter. Meanings matter. I’ll bet you if you look, you will see it’s a study reported on by “Psychology Today.” They did not conduct the study. That’s not what they do.

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