How the Tooth Fairy amuses herself

Ryan(8) has only lost a few teeth.

Ryan looks out

He is not wild about having a loose tooth, but even less wild about the actual loss process.   So the tooth hangs by a thread for weeks…

It isn’t pretty.

Last Friday, blog-Stedman had an out of town appointment in Shreveport which is a 3 1/2 hour drive from our house.   I volunteered to go along and be dropped off at a casino with a poker room during the big meeting.

The sacrifices I make.

We arranged for the boys to spend the night with grandma and grandpa since we weren’t sure when we were returning and quite frankly, I could use a break.

Ryan lost his tooth, the one that has been loose for nearly a month about 20 minutes before we left.

Thankfully, I had inside knowledge that the Tooth Fairy does visit grandparents so we packaged up the tooth and sent it with Ryan to grandma’s house.

It was a nice break to take a little drive with blog-Stedman.

It was a nice break to sit down with a table of adults and play a little poker.

A very little poker.

I lost what I was willing to lose in the first two hours.

Meanwhile, the boys were having a great time with their grandparents and the Tooth Fairy DID visit overnight and left the monetary reward that Ryan expected.

BUT Grandma and Grandpa’s Tooth Fairy didn’t take the tooth like the Home Tooth Fairy does.

So, the next day when I picked up the boys Ryan declared that since he still had his tooth he was going to try again this evening and see if the Tooth Fairy would give him MORE money.   He swears that someone at school gets extra money every night that the tooth isn’t picked up.

That evening the tooth again went under the pillow.

That evening the Tooth Fairy again visited Ryan.

This time the Tooth Fairy delivered the following form letter:

Letter from the Tooth Fairy

Due to increased global tooth loss on Friday, May 29, 2009 the TOOTH FAIRY was unable to arrange removal transportation in some regions of North and Central America.

The TOOTH FAIRY completed all home visits and issued full MONETARY TOOTH REWARDS, but the customary tooth removal will be rescheduled for Saturday, may 30 with an alternate date of Sunday, May 31st.

Some areas may be eligible for TOOTH REDEMPTION VALUE* as part of a local recycling campaign.

*REDEMPTION VALUE:   IA-OR 5 cents/MI-ID-CA-OK-TX 10 cents

If you feel like you have received this letter in error, please contact the TOOTH FAIRY CUSTOMER SERVICE HOTLINE.

Thank you.

The Tooth Fairy attached a dime to the letter and then giggled about it all evening.

The next day Ryan found the letter, read it and said “I don’t get it“.

To which the Tooth Fairy continued giggling…

0 Comments

  1. Beautiful Site, Hilarious Posts, and Inspiring Writing Skills.

  2. Only the Tooth Fairy would leave a letter like that to a future lawyer!

  3. Damn, it feels good to be a tooth fairy gangsta.

  4. Santa also left a letter this year letting The Manic Family in general (and one member in particular) know that the Wii was a Family Gift given in expectation of future good behavior.

    Feels good to mess with ’em just a little. Or sometimes a lot…

  5. He should just thank God that he didn’t need to call the Customer Service line to talk to ‘Luke’ in Egypt and try to figure out heavily accented exchange rates.
    Love the letter.

  6. Priceless!

    Does the tooth fairy always leave a dime at your house?

  7. Sounds like the tooth fairy has been unionized!

  8. That’s awesome! Glad to see that the Tooth Fairy has a well-run bureaucracy.

  9. That is GREAT! We also noticed that the tooth fairy gives different amounts depending on where the tooth is left, or what time of year it is. Also, I noticed that most of the time she leaves gold coins (gold dollars) but sometimes she runs out (or forgets to replenish her stash)and has to leave quarters or dollar bills instead. And occasionally, she forgets or gets really busy one night and has to leave a note the next night.

    I am glad you got to get away for a little while!:)

  10. Priceless!

    My Nina lost her first tooth when my parents were visiting. My dad put an Ariel wig on – long red locks – and tried to sneak in just before he knew she was asleep.

    He didn’t mean to TRIP and FALL into the room, but it made for a hysterical memory!

  11. Wow! The tooth fairy must be far more efficient in Texas! Of course we have never had a non-pick-up with money left – just a poor forgotten tooth once or twice with extra paid the next evening – and the explanation that you must not have been asleep when she came.

  12. One of my third grade students this year told me all about how something BAD happened. It had to do with her brother and Santa. Thankfully before I said anything to get myself in trouble, she told me that Santa came and TOOK AWAY a toy a week before Christmas and left a warning letter.

    It is tough being a kid these days…

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