In the middle

Over the last few weeks I have had the pleasure of watching a genius of marketing in action.

This marketing wizard has taken something that was unwanted, unnoticed and shunned and through grassroots advertising vaulted it into a must have in mere days.

A must have.

In mere days.

Because I have three kids I usually have things lined up 1, 2, 3. For instance, at the table they sit in descending age order.

They are easier to organize this way.

Lunches, drinks, baths, books, desserts, snacks, car position, sleeping position, laundry, haircuts, etc., etc., etc. all are arranged by age so I can remember who belongs to what.

Simple system.

Effective system.

I occasionally have to deal with the “I want to be first!” or “I want to be last!” but for the most part we just go 1, 2, 3. The end.

Well, not really the end because about a week ago Rhett(3) decided he wanted to have the middle drink when I was pouring milk at breakfast.

Let’s review that he is #3. He should be last and occasionally first.

Then he wanted the middle drink at lunch.

Then he wanted to sit in the middle in the tub.

And now he is in full press mode for the middle of anything, anywhere, anyhow.

The middle is the best.

He will only settle for the middle.

Well, boys 1 and 2 have been watching this. And guess what?

The middle is now where it is at.

I pour milk to choruses of “I want the middle one!

Everyone is jockeying for the middle of anything, anywhere, anyhow.

And I am in the middle of the war.

Stuck in the middle.

I guess the next step is obvious. I am going to enlist his help in marketing vegetables, homework and clean rooms to the other two.

And after that you might just see him on TV selling the Sham-Wow…


  1. I only have two kiddos and EVERY time they get into the car they fight over who gets to sit in the middle of the back seat…”but I can’t see the clock from here..I NEED to be in the middle…she was in the middle last time…blah blah blah…” Yes, sadly it hasn’t stopped, it just moved from the middle of the back seat to who gets to sit in the FRONT seat.

  2. Halftime Lessons says:

    This was SO me on my wedding night…

    “It’s MY turn to be in the middle!!”

    In my defense, she was a bridesmaid, but not a relative.

    Too much info?


    PS – if you ever feel like getting involved in Tuesday’s Tribute, this post is the exact type of thing a lot of us do…some serious, a lot funny…

  3. WeaselMomma says:

    Of course the middle is the best! Think Oreos, Twinkies and Devil Dogs! That kids ahead of the curve.

  4. Angie Ledbetter says:

    Your little Malcolm in the Middle is a future Billy Mays!

    With my three so close together, I wish I’d have thunk of the age order routine. 🙂

  5. jill jill bo bill says:

    Just remember what the “middle” did to poor Jan Brady. She a wierdo now.

  6. My middle boy is tired of being in the middle…. So if you could maybe have Rhett do a commercial proving how truly awesome the middle is, that would great.

  7. oh he is a smart one, indeed. let me know how it goes with the veggies. i may need to borrow him.

  8. Eudea-Mamia says:

    It might be time to introduce those three to monkey in the middle. It might not be so appealing after that…

  9. so you’re letting them all drink out of the middle cup now, right? saves time on dishwashing…

  10. Melissa R says:

    I have one. But whenever he is with anyone, he doesn’t want to be first, he wants to be in the middle. Because then he is surrounded by those he loves being with.

  11. Domestic Goddess (In Training) says:

    It really is interesting how the oldest can manipulate the minds of the young. If only they would use this power for good, not evil!

  12. absolutely the middle is the best…

  13. Happy Campers says:

    At least they don't know about the Middle Finger.

    Two days ago, in the car:

    "Mommy, can I tell you something? Will I get in trouble?"

    *sound of doom* "No honey, you can be honest with Mommy and tell me. If it's something you did really wrong, we'll just talk about it and you won't get punished."

    "Remember when we were at Disney & the Space Mountain man said I was too short (this was about a year ago)?"


    "I gave him the middle finger when you weren't looking. I'm sorry."


  14. Lizz @ Yes, and So is My Heart says:


  15. i want a sham wow. now.

  16. Now I want to be in the middle. Who knew pop culture could start so young?

  17. Tony@ That One Paticular Harbor says:

    Man I wish I had your system before my “system” became pure madness. Thanks for stopping by the harbor earlier. I see you all had a blast at the DFW dinner. Got to meet my friend Jay the mad man. That looked like awesome fun.

  18. It is warmer in the middle! So funny! And thanks for swinging by my blog earlier today … your visit is much appreciated! : )

  19. Jenni Jiggety says:

    Now you have to have another baby…that will make TWO middle spot!

    Don’t I have the best ideas?

  20. Haha! How crazy that the MIDDLE is the most popular?! Funny the things that kids and peer pressure can come up with! 🙂

  21. Jenn @ Juggling Life says:

    Because our littlest one was a girl she always needed to be in the middle of her brothers. Always.

  22. Isn’t that a Bob Dilan song Stuck in the middle with you?

    How funny. Great post.

  23. the planet of janet says:

    so let me get this straight …

    ALL your boys have middle-child syndrome???

  24. Reluctant Housewife says:

    I liked the middle of this post best.

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