Print this handy, dandy toilet paper conversion table and take it with you shopping next time.
You might also want to take your calculator.
You might also want to take a baseball bat to hit your head repeatedly.
Or you could just use your shoe.
Can I just say…..WHY CHARMIN?
Why is it necessary to produce 8 products that are actually just one product in variable sizes?
It is like they invented their own world over there at The Charmin and things just got out of control.
First they invented the regular roll. I may have not done proper research for this ground breaking piece of crap investigational blogging, but I don’t find an accepted world wide standard for toilet paper roll size (metric or otherwise).
So, they just named it.
Then they thought…gee, I think it would be great to have something a twice the size,
and then two and a half times the size
and then FOUR TIMES THE SIZE.
Stop the madness Charmin.
Next thing we know we will be carting home big wheels of toilet paper the size of truck tires that are 64 times the size of the fictional regular roll.
Then they went on to price each roll differently.
Then they went on to package each roll differently.
Then they market their product to mommies that are suffering from sleep deprivation and can’t do advanced math in their heads standing in the paper product aisle at Target supervising three children who are independently making their own selections of plates, plastic spoons and cartoon character decorated paper towels while screaming loudly and calling for a game of hide and go seek.
OH! And once you do choose your mega package (not to be confused with the mega roll which is 4 times the size of a regular roll)…it WILL NOT FIT IN THE CART. Just carry it under your arm while wrangling the three kids and pushing the cart (do I need to draw a picture?).
Conspiracy?I am re-posting this rant because it is one of my favorites. It originally aired on 4/3/08.
For your math convenience:
Print this handy, dandy toilet paper conversion table and take it with you shopping next time.
You might also want to take your calculator.
You might also want to take a baseball bat to hit your head repeatedly.
Or you could just use your shoe.
Can I just say…..WHY CHARMIN?
Why is it necessary to produce 8 products that are actually just one product in variable sizes?
It is like they invented their own world over there at The Charmin and things just got out of control.
First they invented the regular roll. I may have not done proper research for this ground breaking piece of crap investigational blogging, but I don’t find an accepted world wide standard for toilet paper roll size (metric or otherwise).
So, they just named it.
Then they thought…gee, I think it would be great to have something a twice the size,
and then two and a half times the size
and then FOUR TIMES THE SIZE.
Stop the madness Charmin.
Next thing we know we will be carting home big wheels of toilet paper the size of truck tires that are 64 times the size of the fictional regular roll.
Then they went on to price each roll differently.
Then they went on to package each roll differently.
Then they market their product to mommies that are suffering from sleep deprivation and can’t do advanced math in their heads standing in the paper product aisle at Target supervising three children who are independently making their own selections of plates, plastic spoons and cartoon character decorated paper towels while screaming loudly and calling for a game of hide and go seek.
OH! And once you do choose your mega package (not to be confused with the mega roll which is 4 times the size of a regular roll)…it WILL NOT FIT IN THE CART. Just carry it under your arm while wrangling the three kids and pushing the cart (do I need to draw a picture?).
Conspiracy?
Print this handy, dandy toilet paper conversion table and take it with you shopping next time.
You might also want to take your calculator.
You might also want to take a baseball bat to hit your head repeatedly.
Or you could just use your shoe.
Can I just say…..WHY CHARMIN?
Why is it necessary to produce 8 products that are actually just one product in variable sizes?
It is like they invented their own world over there at The Charmin and things just got out of control.
First they invented the regular roll. I may have not done proper research for this ground breaking piece of crap investigational blogging, but I don’t find an accepted world wide standard for toilet paper roll size (metric or otherwise).
So, they just named it.
Then they thought…gee, I think it would be great to have something a twice the size,
and then two and a half times the size
and then FOUR TIMES THE SIZE.
Stop the madness Charmin.
Next thing we know we will be carting home big wheels of toilet paper the size of truck tires that are 64 times the size of the fictional regular roll.
Then they went on to price each roll differently.
Then they went on to package each roll differently.
Then they market their product to mommies that are suffering from sleep deprivation and can’t do advanced math in their heads standing in the paper product aisle at Target supervising three children who are independently making their own selections of plates, plastic spoons and cartoon character decorated paper towels while screaming loudly and calling for a game of hide and go seek.
OH! And once you do choose your mega package (not to be confused with the mega roll which is 4 times the size of a regular roll)…it WILL NOT FIT IN THE CART. Just carry it under your arm while wrangling the three kids and pushing the cart (do I need to draw a picture?).
Conspiracy?
The whole mega roll is to make you have to buy the toilet paper roll extender bit because it won’t fit on a traditional toilet paper roll. Don’t get me started on that nonsense!
I think the Charmin people are very good at double talking and making you think you are getting more at a better price when you are not.
Just “Don’t squeeze the Charmin”, Mr. Whipple doesn’t like it!
I am going to second mama bird diaries here. The Giant and Mega rolls DON’T FIT OUR toilet paper holder. Why even offer them if they don’t fit the standard size equipment offered in most homes?!
But I must admit that we are Charmin loyalists. Other brands just don’t work for me!
Hey, I was wanting a picture.
And I buy my toilet tissue at Costco in the takes-care-of-the-whole-neighborhood size.
Ugh, the amount of TP I am now schlepping around due to potty training sickens me.
I was so pissed off when I bought a big pack of Charmin online at drugstore.com and the rolls were so thick that they didn’t even fit on our toilet paper holder. What the hell?
Mr Whipple had it in for us from the beginning. All he wanted to do was squeeze us.
oh, I so feel this pain .. but – I will go one step further – the mathematical conversions to figure out how to put the tp hardware on the wall so that one of those extra-jumbo mongo rolls will actually spin!!! AND not leave tp fragments on my newly painted walls
AAARRRGGGHHH
we have been wrangling math problems around here the past few days. i think your chart might have come in handy with a few of them. i’m bookmarking this page to use with tonight’s homework!
We all know how hard potty training can be, but we shouldn’t have to master algebra.