I am re-posting this rant because it is one of my favorites. It originally aired on 4/3/08.
Print this handy, dandy toilet paper conversion table and take it with you shopping next time.
You might also want to take your calculator.
You might also want to take a baseball bat to hit your head repeatedly.
Or you could just use your shoe.
Can I just say…..WHY CHARMIN?
Why is it necessary to produce 8 products that are actually just one product in variable sizes?
It is like they invented their own world over there at The Charmin and things just got out of control.
First they invented the regular roll. I may have not done proper research for this ground breaking piece of crap investigational blogging, but I don’t find an accepted world wide standard for toilet paper roll size (metric or otherwise).
So, they just named it.
Then they thought…gee, I think it would be great to have something a twice the size,
and then two and a half times the size
and then FOUR TIMES THE SIZE.
Stop the madness Charmin.
Next thing we know we will be carting home big wheels of toilet paper the size of truck tires that are 64 times the size of the fictional regular roll.
Then they went on to price each roll differently.
Then they went on to package each roll differently.
Then they market their product to mommies that are suffering from sleep deprivation and can’t do advanced math in their heads standing in the paper product aisle at Target supervising three children who are independently making their own selections of plates, plastic spoons and cartoon character decorated paper towels while screaming loudly and calling for a game of hide and go seek.
OH! And once you do choose your mega package (not to be confused with the mega roll which is 4 times the size of a regular roll)…it WILL NOT FIT IN THE CART. Just carry it under your arm while wrangling the three kids and pushing the cart (do I need to draw a picture?).