Holly got ready.
Ready for something she hasn’t done in years.
Holly realized that she had only
one pair of jeans that fit well. She had no choice but to go shopping for
another pair.
Why has Holly not been jean shopping for years?
Maybe because last time she went shopping for jeans she
entered the store as
a confident woman and
exited the store as
a huddled mass yearning to be free of her obvious body disfigurements.
For you see, in
non-jean-shopping-life Holly is OK with her body. She is not in love with her shape, but has accepted it and moves on…
Yet for some reason, in
jean-shopping-life all that changes.
Holly’s
non-jean-shopping THIGHS are OK, but her
jean-shopping THIGHS appear like over-stuffed, dimpled sausage.
Holly’s
non-jean-shopping WAIST is OK, but her
jean-shopping WAIST creates plumber-effect.
In
non-jean shopping-life Holly never met a tailor. In
jean-shopping-life Holly has never met a pair of jeans that didn’t require a skilled one.
Holly recruited a friend for moral support.
Holly wasn’t sure about the morality, but could really use the support.
Soon Holly was back in a dressing room with an ever-growing pile of ill-fitting jeans.
*Hold me*
Just about the time Holly was about to slip into her pre-existing Post-Traumatic Jean Shopping Syndrome, the sales clerk asked her to try on one more pair.
Holly tried on the jeans.
Holly was puzzled.
Something was different.
Very different.
The jeans fit.
*cue the angel choir*
Where did you find these jeans that fit so perfectly?
The men’s department.
Yep.
In
jean-shopping-life Holly is a
boy.
Holly realized that she had only one pair of jeans that fit well. She had no choice but to go shopping for another pair.
Why has Holly not been jean shopping for years?
Maybe because last time she went shopping for jeans she entered the store as a confident woman and exited the store as a huddled mass yearning to be free of her obvious body disfigurements.
For you see, in non-jean-shopping-life Holly is OK with her body. She is not in love with her shape, but has accepted it and moves on…
Yet for some reason, in jean-shopping-life all that changes.
Holly’s non-jean-shopping THIGHS are OK, but her jean-shopping THIGHS appear like over-stuffed, dimpled sausage.
Holly’s non-jean-shopping WAIST is OK, but her jean-shopping WAIST creates plumber-effect.
In non-jean shopping-life Holly never met a tailor. In jean-shopping-life Holly has never met a pair of jeans that didn’t require a skilled one.
Holly recruited a friend for moral support. Holly wasn’t sure about the morality, but could really use the support.
Soon Holly was back in a dressing room with an ever-growing pile of ill-fitting jeans.
*Hold me*
Just about the time Holly was about to slip into her pre-existing Post-Traumatic Jean Shopping Syndrome, the sales clerk asked her to try on one more pair.
Holly tried on the jeans.
Holly was puzzled.
Something was different.
Very different.
The jeans fit.
*cue the angel choir*
Where did you find these jeans that fit so perfectly?
The men’s department.
Yep.
In jean-shopping-life Holly is a boy.
Oh my word. This made me burst out laughing. I am NOT shaped like a board/stick, but jean shopping is never fun for most women, I think. But I went through something similar when looking for running shoes. (Mind you, I’m a plus sized woman who isn’t really a good ‘runner’, but I’m working up to another 5K. You gotta have a dream.) Turns out that if you have size 9.5, wide/German feet, your best shoe is probably in the men’s dept. You know what? Who cares! They fit well and that’s all I care about! 🙂 For the record, my husband’s tiny/Irish feet mean that he wears about 1/2 – 1 size larger shoe (in Men’s dept) than I do. Sigh.
I have always had to get my jeans out of the mens dept 30+ yrs now…Glad to know someone else does too!
Could you please tell me the exact name of the jeans you bought and the store please, because I have the SAME EXACT PROBLEM. Help me please.
Funny illustrations. I can definitely understand the need to fit into jeans. Jeans are so expensive these days. I always try to find the best deals on the web when I am shopping for clothes. As a matter of fact I found some great deals on jeans here Jeans . Fall is approaching so I need to restock on a few pairs.
I bought men’s jeans for years! It’s true! Some of us just fit better in them!
I really didn’t mind shopping for my 29 year old body. Not so much with my 34 year old body.
Love the post!
I love this post, but I laughed twice as hard when I reached the google ad at the bottom. It was an ad for “butt lifting jeans” 🙂
http://www.telegaleria.com/s-51-butt-lift-jeans.aspx?gclid=CMnRxeqEjqYCFY9x5Qod7zpQng
I feel you on this.
I used to wear boys jeans when I was a kid (it was the 80s, baggy, relaxed fit jeans were “in” and I wanted form fitting, cue the boys department).
The last few years, jeans have been my trial. Maybe I should give that men’s department a go!
ha! Good luck in the men’s department…