it is jeanetic

Holly got ready.

Ready for something she hasn’t done in years.

Holly with jeans that fit

Holly realized that she had only one pair of jeans that fit well. She had no choice but to go shopping for another pair.

Why has Holly not been jean shopping for years?

Holly in dressing room trying on jeans

Maybe because last time she went shopping for jeans she entered the store as a confident woman and exited the store as a huddled mass yearning to be free of her obvious body disfigurements.

most jeans are way too big in the waist and too small in the thighs

For you see, in non-jean-shopping-life Holly is OK with her body. She is not in love with her shape, but has accepted it and moves on…

Holly's jeans don't fit like the average woman

Yet for some reason, in jean-shopping-life all that changes.

Holly’s non-jean-shopping THIGHS are OK, but her jean-shopping THIGHS appear like over-stuffed, dimpled sausage.

Holly’s non-jean-shopping WAIST is OK, but her jean-shopping WAIST creates plumber-effect.

In non-jean shopping-life Holly never met a tailor. In jean-shopping-life Holly has never met a pair of jeans that didn’t require a skilled one.

Holly recruited a friend for moral support. Holly wasn’t sure about the morality, but could really use the support.

Holly goes shopping for jeans with a friend

Soon Holly was back in a dressing room with an ever-growing pile of ill-fitting jeans.

*Hold me*

Holly tries on jeans at the store

Just about the time Holly was about to slip into her pre-existing Post-Traumatic Jean Shopping Syndrome, the sales clerk asked her to try on one more pair.

Holly is brought the perfect fitting jeans

Holly tried on the jeans.

Holly was puzzled.

Something was different.

Very different.

jeans fit Holly

The jeans fit.

*cue the angel choir*

angel choir sings in celebration of proper jean fitting

Where did you find these jeans that fit so perfectly?

Holly wears mens jeans

The men’s department.

Yep.

In jean-shopping-life Holly is a boy.

89 Comments

  1. Weaselmomma says:

    I always love you hand drawn drawn pictorals, but you missed the square of “cross dressing Holly”.

  2. You know there has to be a book entitled, “Holly’s Animated Life”. You are working on it, aren’t you?

  3. HAHA hilarious! I have to say, I worked at GAP for 4 years in college,and the Mens Jeans (boot cut baby) wall was always a godsend for crying fitting room women, always. There was a lot of hugging going on back in the fittingrooms.

  4. Manic Mommy says:

    Hahahahah!

    I just had a flash of you sitting at the kitchen table with your markers and Blog Stedman rolling his eyes…

    Also, I fear Manic Mommy’s jean-shopping life is in maternity.

  5. Colleen - Mommy Always Wins says:

    I love your singing angels. I think I need that graphic for my blog for the times my children AREN’T beating each other about the head and shoulders.

    That’s it…back to men’s jeans it is! They’re usually less pricey, too. 😉 I’m just glad Holly got jeans!

  6. Until I had kids I always wore men’s jeans. When I was a teen they always fit me better than women’s.

    I wish that were still true!

  7. The singing angels were classic!

  8. The Stiletto Mom says:

    I have never heard of such a thing but I’m going to try it!!! Also, I really think you have a career as an illustrator in your future. 🙂

  9. Yay for pictures! And yay for men’s jeans! Although that drawing of the hourglass looks mildly obscene.

  10. That was a great way to start the day (the cartoon, not jean shopping) I really enjoy your blog, this is the first hand drawn one I have seen, I guesss I need to visit your archives. Thanks for the laughs.

  11. That is a riot. Boy jeans rock.

  12. LOL. Work on that book! I have the exact same problem. I’ll try man jeans. Thanks!

  13. spinning in our own direction says:

    Ha ha.. Aren’t sells people great!! My one and only pair of jeans ( that fit) are Lucky boyfriend jeans.They are girls jeans but cut like boys.. I’m not so stick figureish more of a marshmallow shape now..

  14. Elaine A. says:

    Dude! (I can call you that now!) I’m totally sorry it took so many tears to figure this one out. But… so glad you are happy now.

    I have missed your illustrated posts… : )

  15. I wear Mr. S’s old jeans when we do outside work, or with the cattle. They are super comfortable, and I love them. I say wear whatever is most comfortable and works for you!

  16. The Glamorous Life says:

    I haven’t been here in a while and the place looks GREAT. Clean. Fresh. and great.

    Man jeans. Really? I find that so hard to believe…you have such a great figure. Heck I would wear man jeans if I could have your figure too! Embrace it. Tell the world. Oh…yeah…I guess you just did.

    me

  17. mominmentalmotion says:

    I love it! I suffer from the same issue but not because I am a skinny board. I am short and short-waisted. Oh well, I am glad you found something!

  18. Trannyhead says:

    See – I think that jeans are actually made for pear-shaped women. Because I’m the classic hourglass and have MAJOR struggles. Butt crack hanging out the back? Check. Knees of jeans that apparently hit me in mid-calf? Check. Jeans that have to be hiked up each time I stand up? Check!

  19. I wear mostly men jeans, straight leg boot cut they are worth the choir of angels

  20. Hahaha that was hysterical, thanks for sharing.

  21. I am shaped like a board, too. A BIG FAT BOARD.
    I borrow my husband’s jeans lots, but that is because I’m a lazy slattern and not because they fit me well. So now I am very, very jealous.
    I LOVE your drawn posts. They are the funniest thigns online.

  22. I love the pictures. I felt I was there with you in horrible jean land

  23. Threeundertwo says:

    What the heck? Is that allowed? My daughter is shaped like a board. I am so raiding the boy’s section now!

    TexasHolly saves the day again! Congratulations on your new jeans.

  24. i have TONS of friends that prefer Men’s Jeans to the awkward fit of womens…

    Says A LOT about the design of girl’s jeans, doesn’t it?

  25. I hate jeans shopping too. But for all future such excursions, I will laugh and think of you.

  26. the planet of janet says:

    further proof that we were separated at birth.

  27. Heather, Queen of Shake Shake says:

    For me, jean shopping is the new swimsuit shopping. 3 dozen jeans with a side of misery.

  28. Hehe this is brilliant!

  29. Valarie Lea says:

    Oh I just laughed out load!!

  30. Jennifer H says:

    Oh my god, I laughed.

    Especially at the bare legs showing from under the dressing room door.

  31. I am a freaking rolling. Holly, you slay me honey!
    Your drawings are the greatest thing ever.

    And see, being an hour *coughandahalfcough* glass figure, I can’t find jeans that fit that don’t gap in the waist or go too low.

    Jeans. the ultimate punk.

  32. Tiffany Anne says:

    Wonderful story! 🙂 Great pictures!! He-he. I only have one brand of jeans that I ever wear that fit me. What’s funny is I know some guys that wear girl pants. I think they’re weird…but then again, they’re musicians so I suppose then can get away with ’em.

  33. Nerdy Jess says:

    I love the illustrations, too cute!

    I’m glad you found some jeans thou!

  34. Corey~living and loving says:

    I love how creative you are! 🙂

  35. Ebony Shanti says:

    This had me laughing so hard I cried. I often resort to wearing men’s jeans, but always feel like everyone’s gonna mention how much my butt looks like a guy’s! Thanks for sharing your jean-shopping sorrows and joys 😀

  36. Angie Ledbetter says:

    WTG. No mo jean-induced trauma! (Hope you bought several pair.) 🙂

  37. Judith Shakespeare says:

    That’s okay… ’cause in blog world, holly is a goddess. This is like one of my most favoritist (shut-up, it’s totally a word) posts ever. 🙂

  38. Too funny! I think we all know too well this experience. You know the very EXPENSIVE (of course) jeans always seem to fit me just fine. Other than the fact that the legs are about a foot too long. We can’t all be a 5’11” supermodel now can we?

  39. jill jill bo bill says:

    Be warned. Putting your hands in the front pockets, makes your crotch itch. I’ve seen it happen many many times.

  40. Eudea-Mamia says:

    I’m so trying that with men’s bathing suits.

  41. Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge says:

    Girlfriend I have the same deal! Except reversed! My legs are okay, actually I’d say they’re my best asset. But my stomach/waist? Please look away. And after 4 children? It is like a giant kangaroo pouch, but less furry (not I did not say free of fur, just LESS furry.) And dimply. And stark white because who ever thought that post-partum women will ever get into a 2-piece again? Not this Mama! So, I got the muffin top thang goin on, not pretty. Men’s jeans fit me great because, quite often, men have the giant beer belly with nice little birdy legs to go along with it. Like MEEEEEE!

  42. ROFL @ jill jill’s comment! HA!

    Holly has JEANS now! I can’t tell you how many times I wandered over to the men’s section for my jeans… FINALLY some companies are starting to realize that YES, there are some women who require an inseam longer than 32″. WHEW! Old Navy is now my new jeaniest best friend with their 35″ talls. =)

  43. Threeboys1mommy says:

    Why didn’t you talk to me about it? I was a retail professional pre-babies. They also make a boyfriend cut/fit, which is technically mens jeans in the womens department.

  44. That was very funny Holly. Finding the right pair of jeans is such a precious moment.

  45. Well, the latest rage is guys wearing our jeans, so why not?

  46. kompostela says:

    Some of my friends also buy men’s jeans:))) But now you know where to find good jeans next time:))

  47. the mama bird diaries says:

    I’m very happy for Holly. Eternal bliss can be found in a great pair of fitting jeans…no matter where they came from.

  48. Paisley Raven says:

    I feel ur pain. I happen to be shaped more like a Bartlett pair, so I haven't worn jeans in at least 7 years. Since my youngest was conceived/born.
    He actually read this with me & liked it. Elder boy -the beginning of the death of my figure- read it too, and thought it hysterical.
    Gotta teach the kid what to expect when he gets out in life.
    Thanks & YOU have been Stumbled!

    ~Raven

  49. Being a man has all the perks! Cheaper hair cuts, cheaper clothes, no monthly visitors, and now better fitting jeans! What’s not to love? 🙂

  50. Joy the Baker says:

    Ha! What a great post! I’m so glad I stumbled on you blog. I’ll be back again soon!

  51. Amy Warden says:

    I was just thinking the same thing as Joy the Baker. Thanks for the laugh!!!

  52. stinking jeans…… i started buying them at coldwater creek…

  53. Oh my gosh, I’m going to totally try the men’s next time…will I need to bring a sock? or do they provide that…like a nylon at the shoe store?

  54. frogpondsrock says:

    I had a brilliant comment, almost certainly “peep of the week” worthy. then I read Danielle’s comment *sigh* How can I comment after reading that little gem..

  55. in jean shopping life, you take whatever works…i have a few pairs of jeans from THE KID SECTION AT OLD NAVY. hahah!

  56. Reluctant Housewife says:

    Men’s jeans are great! I used to wear them before I popped out a couple of babies and my shape changed for ever and ever.

  57. EatPlayLove says:

    Oh my goodness. Holly you do not need to wear men’s jeans in 2009. I did that in the 80’s because I had no choice. Go buy yourself a pair of Joe’s Jeans, they’ll have a fit for you, they come in lengths, and they were made for your gorgeous body.

  58. Oh how I love those drawings. I just went Jean shopping. Five different stores – no jeans. Maybe I should try mens.

  59. I’m visiting from Nanny Goats in Panties blog. Loved this post cause now I know I’m not the only one that wear’s a pair of men’s jeans…Have a great weekend!

  60. this is awesome. jeans shopping is a nightmare, but i think you’re still ahead of the curve: men’s jeans beat mom jeans any day of the week:)

  61. Anonymous says:

    Don’t feel bad, Holly. Aren’t the boys these days wearing OUR jeans? Uck!

  62. I. HATE. JEANS. SHOPPING. I only have one pair that fits right now, too. I am pretty sure the men’s department wouldn’t be helpful, though.

  63. MoscowMom says:

    How funny! But hey… They fit! I finally found a pair during this past trip to Colorado and wanted to to break into that “Ode to Joy” in the dressing room!!! Super drawings.

  64. My current best-fitting jeans are on my sad, sad butt right now. They are Mom Jeans.

    You heard me.

    Mom jeans.

    Now don’t be a hater. That’s all that fits right. I know, I know — and some mens jeans are okay, too! But they have to be for a really big man.

    This was too funny — Holly’s Animated Life FTW — again!

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  66. May I suggest looking at the Q-baby style Wrangler jeans– stretch denim and thus more forgiving, reasonably cut and really work for this old cowgirl, even for riding! And nothing wrong with having a boy’s figure, there are worse figures we could have!

  67. Oh my gosh I have the exact same problem. It’s even worse when I am pregnant because apparently they do not really MAKE maternity jeans for non-curvy ladies. I would like to explain to the jeans-making-people that I don’t grow curves like that even when I am pregnant. Instead, I just spend my whole pregnancies pulling up the pants that are too baggy, because that is better than them being too tight.
    When I am NOT pregnant, I like Citizens of Humanity jeans. I would recommend them for us non-curvy chicks! 🙂

  68. Girl, I feel you. We have the same problem except I am not a stick. My thighs are so large from years of riding horses and then stopping and no keeping the muscle tone up. I love Gap jeans.

  69. I see that the man of Viagra felt like you needed something else male-oriented. Silly spammers. I love animated Holly, she makes me smile, men’s jeans and all. 🙂

  70. I have the same problem…tiny waist and curvy *ahem* thighs. The closest I’ve come to the perfect jean is the skinny jean from Gap. I did’t think I could rock them but they’re actually pretty flattering and they don’t fall down to my knees at the end of the day. Bonus? They come in long lengths! (I don’t know if you’re tall, but for me at 5’10” long jeans are a must!)

  71. Haha..funny stuff! So I was wondering! I added you on FB over a month ago and you have yet to accept me,but everyday I see you accepting new people? Why is that? So confused. Can’t be something I did or said cause I don’t know you. Maybe it’s the way I look?? Am I not good looking enough..eek. I shall work on it. Confused?!?!? MJ

  72. i love jeans….where ever i go i always wearing jeans

  73. I can totally relate to Holly. My body is not the “perfect” shape either and I have tried and tried to find some jeans that really fit. Great story and the pictures were good too!

  74. I’m SO not reading all of the comments to see if someone else said this, BUT…

    I wore men’s jeans for years. Okay, boys jeans if you want to know the truth. Until they came out with low waist jeans. Ultra low waist were even better!

    I SO understand being built like a boy. I even have the flat chest to prove it! :O)

  75. I used to wear men’s jeans. I don’t know why…I’ve always been curvy.

  76. the only jeans i can wear are wrangler’s. original fit. nothing *full* or *relaxed* or *cowboy cut* for me. original fit…ONLY

  77. I *might* just be your body double. Sheesh. Buying jeans is a nightmare. I laughed. (I nearly cried!).
    L

  78. I feel you on this.

    I used to wear boys jeans when I was a kid (it was the 80s, baggy, relaxed fit jeans were “in” and I wanted form fitting, cue the boys department).

    The last few years, jeans have been my trial. Maybe I should give that men’s department a go!

  79. ha! Good luck in the men’s department…

  80. I really didn’t mind shopping for my 29 year old body. Not so much with my 34 year old body.

    Love the post!

  81. I bought men’s jeans for years! It’s true! Some of us just fit better in them!

  82. Jay Walker says:

    Funny illustrations. I can definitely understand the need to fit into jeans. Jeans are so expensive these days. I always try to find the best deals on the web when I am shopping for clothes. As a matter of fact I found some great deals on jeans here Jeans . Fall is approaching so I need to restock on a few pairs.

  83. Could you please tell me the exact name of the jeans you bought and the store please, because I have the SAME EXACT PROBLEM. Help me please.

  84. Donna Davis says:

    I have always had to get my jeans out of the mens dept 30+ yrs now…Glad to know someone else does too!

  85. Oh my word. This made me burst out laughing. I am NOT shaped like a board/stick, but jean shopping is never fun for most women, I think. But I went through something similar when looking for running shoes. (Mind you, I’m a plus sized woman who isn’t really a good ‘runner’, but I’m working up to another 5K. You gotta have a dream.) Turns out that if you have size 9.5, wide/German feet, your best shoe is probably in the men’s dept. You know what? Who cares! They fit well and that’s all I care about! 🙂 For the record, my husband’s tiny/Irish feet mean that he wears about 1/2 – 1 size larger shoe (in Men’s dept) than I do. Sigh.

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