Once upon a time Holly found herself with an
extra hour and 1/2 without three boys who she calls her children. Holly hardly could contain herself. She decided that she would take that time to do something fun for herself.
To pamper herself.
To give herself a hug.
She decided that she would go to the nail salon!

Holly walked into Pretty Nails and found that they had availability RIGHT THEN!
Yay for Holly.
Holly then noted that she was the ONLY person in the salon that didn’t work there.
Lucky, lucky Holly.
This was Holly’s third visit to the nail salon in 37 years
(averaging one visit every 12.333333 years).
Her first visit was right before her
wedding. She had a manicure with those faux nails. She then spent her honeymoon trying to rip off the faux nails one by one with her teeth because they were driving her crazy.
Holly doesn’t bite her real nails, just her faux ones.
Let’s just admit that she might suffer from
PTWFNS (Post Traumatic Wedding Faux Nail Syndrome) and assume that she is not at the nail salon for a manicure:

Yep! Holly is going to kick off her fancy boots for a
pedicure.

After a lot of hand motions, Holly gathers from the salon employee that she is supposed to choose what pedicure she wants.
Holly has no idea but decides that she wants to put her feet in warm water and she doesn’t want to mortgage her house to pay for it.
Let’s have a spa pedicure!

Holly is motioned into a massage chair made in heaven. Her feet are placed in clouds of warm water.

Wow!
This IS the life:

Holly is relaxing.
Holly is meditating.
Holly is basking in the sunshine radiating from her soul.

It occurs to Holly that the salon employees are
talking. And it is
serious. In fact, there might even be a bit of
yelling going on.
But Holly remains clueless as to WHY since the heated discussion is not in Holly’s native tongue.

And then there is some
screaming.
Oh,
that would be Holly as her foot is savagely attacked by a salon employee who is simultaneously
screaming at another employee.

The
screaming continues between the salon employees. No one in the salon has noticed that
Holly has joined in.

Then there was some
stomping.

And some
door slamming.
And then it got very quiet.

Holly looks up and she is still the only person in the salon except now there are no salon employees.
All the salon employees are outside the front door. All she can see through the door and window are wild hand motions.

And then the
door opened, a phrase that Holly recognized was uttered…
YOU ARE FIRED!
And then another
door slam.
These words were hurled at the very salon employee who had been working on Holly’s feet.
This salon employee then grabbed her purse and
slammed the door on her way out.

And then
it got quiet. Everyone came back inside. Another lady sat down at Holly’s feet.
No mention of what happened.
No comment as to the commotion.
It was almost like they expected Holly not to notice.
The end.
Good Lordy. I need to come get pedis at the places you go. I’m guessing this wasn’t the salon with amazing tile?
ok, you are freakin’ funny girl! I was just thinking today how I needed to get my first ped of the summer….and I still just might.
you didn’t let the at your feet with that nasty vegetable peeler did you?
I do love these posts because I totally project that MISS HOLLY is a beauty pro maven. And since Miss C. Christian is a beauty failure, MISS HOLLY is clearly superior to Miss C. Christian. (Which is obvious)
Anyway, it’s nice to know that you have the same weird ass experiences that I have…. You must be superior in other ways…..
Miss you at Plurk…
At least they were fighting and getting fired. Mine are usually laughing and I always fear it’s at my expense.
Oh man… that is a great story. I rarely ever pamper myself either. I would be so paranoid after that happened wonderfing WTF just happened. LOL.
Great pictures. I love yours illustrations.
i have never had a pedicure. they scare me. i’ve seen someone get one and the dead skin scraper thingy just about makes me cringe every time. i was just thinking about getting one sometime, but now i am scared.
Did you tip her extra for firing the maniac who was accosting your feet?
Hope you got a discount.
Awesomeness.
I keep thinking I’m going to pick up a little bit of the language I hear when I’m getting my nails done (every 2 weeks, plus a monthly pedi). But so far? Not even a little.
This was hilarious. And I would put up with any amount of drama, and even a little pain, just to sit in that massage chair for 45 minutes. Those are heaven.
I used to be fluent in foreign accents. I believe what she actually said was, “You FILED.” Which she did. Glad I could help.