Once upon a time Holly found herself with an extra hour and 1/2 without three boys who she calls her children. Holly hardly could contain herself. She decided that she would take that time to do something fun for herself. To pamper herself. To give herself a hug. She decided that she would go to the nail salon! Holly walked into Pretty Nails and found that they had availability RIGHT THEN! Yay for Holly. Holly then noted that she was the ONLY person in the salon that didn’t work there. Lucky, lucky Holly. This was Holly’s third visit to the nail salon in 37 years (averaging one visit every 12.333333 years). Her first visit was right before her wedding. She had a manicure with those faux nails. She then spent her honeymoon trying to rip off the faux nails one by one with her teeth because they were driving her crazy. Holly doesn’t bite her real nails, just her faux ones. Let’s just admit that she might suffer from PTWFNS (Post Traumatic Wedding Faux Nail Syndrome) and assume that she is not at the nail salon for a manicure: Yep! Holly is going to kick off her fancy boots for a pedicure. After a lot of hand motions, Holly gathers from the salon employee that she is supposed to choose what pedicure she wants. Holly has no idea but decides that she wants to put her feet in warm water and she doesn’t want to mortgage her house to pay for it. Let’s have a spa pedicure! Holly is motioned into a massage chair made in heaven. Her feet are placed in clouds of warm water. Wow! This IS the life: Holly is relaxing. Holly is meditating. Holly is basking in the sunshine radiating from her soul. It occurs to Holly that the salon employees are talking. And it is serious. In fact, there might even be a bit of yelling going on. But Holly remains clueless as to WHY since the heated discussion is not in Holly’s native tongue. And then there is some screaming. Oh, that would be Holly as her foot is savagely attacked by a salon employee who is simultaneously screaming at another employee. The screaming continues between the salon employees. No one in the salon has noticed that Holly has joined in. Then there was some stomping. And some door slamming. And then it got very quiet. Holly looks up and she is still the only person in the salon except now there are no salon employees. All the salon employees are outside the front door. All she can see through the door and window are wild hand motions. And then the door opened, a phrase that Holly recognized was uttered…YOU ARE FIRED! And then another door slam. These words were hurled at the very salon employee who had been working on Holly’s feet. This salon employee then grabbed her purse and slammed the door on her way out. And then it got quiet. Everyone came back inside. Another lady sat down at Holly’s feet. No mention of what happened. No comment as to the commotion. It was almost like they expected Holly not to notice. The end.



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111 Comments

  1. Oh yeah- that sounds SO relaxing…I am sure you will be back in another 12.3 years.

  2. I have had a pedicure only 2 times in my life. I’m always worried about how bad my feet look. I feel a bit sorry for the person who has to do my “flintstone” feet.

  3. I go into immediate coma mode as soon as my feet hit that water and that back massager starts working, it’s over for me at that point.
    I don’t know how you manage to lead such an exciting life and then find time to blog about it. Plus your acronyms are hysterical!! Pure brilliance darlin’.
    I’m convinced they’re talking about me and my need for an eyebrow wax or the fact that my feet are so rough or just me in general. Paranoid little suckers, aren’t we 🙂
    I do so love your illustrations.

  4. Wow, I don’t what’s funnier – This story or Threeundertwo’s comment.

    I always get a little paranoid that they are talking bad about me… Does that make me narcissistic??

  5. It’s so funny I can’t even think of anything funny to say to you. It’s just killing me. Why does this happen to people who never go to the mani/pedi place.

    I think I’m averaging the same as you — i think I’m never going again.

  6. Really????
    No, “I’m sorry, here’s a discount for your next visit?”
    or “Can we give you a pedi upgrade?”
    What the heck?

    I know a fantastic Facial place. Next time come here. It’s the only sensible thing to do.

    And if you feel out of sorts, I can scream in a pretend language (because I know nothing else) and slam a door or two to make you feel at ease…

  7. i’m thinkin’ you go for the fish pedi next time. just make sure they don’t put pirhana in there instead.