This is my tissue box:

Which is fine except really nothing in my entire house is that tealish-jewel-tone-80s-prom-dress-that-has-been-collecting-dust-in-my-closet-for-20-years-fading-and-slowly-rotting-away-greenish color. Lucky for me it also comes in this color:

Which is fine except really nothing in my entire house is that pepto-pinkish-chewed-up-bubble-gum-that-was-spit-on-the-sidewalk-and-trapped-into-the-crevices-of-your-shoe-only-to-be-deposited-on-your-new-beige-carpet-where-the-dog-licked-it-until-you-put-her-outside-to-clean-up-the-mess-while-your-children-created-a-river-in-the-extra-bath-by-building-a-sink-damn-washed-out-rosish color. Lucky for me it also comes in this color:

Which is fine except really nothing in my entire house is that greyish-skies-so-dark-it-could-be-a-storm-brewing-or-it-could-just-be-those-blue-feelings-that-you-consider-committing-yourself-to-a-mental-institution-for-a-48-hour-watch-and-really-blue-is-much-prettier-then-this-so-you-are-insulting-blue-when-you-call-it-blue-bluish color.

What is with “decorative” tissue boxes?

There is really no excuse for this. The companies that produce these spend millions of dollars in product research. They employ thousands of employees dedicated to bringing me a box of tissue. Why couldn’t they employ an artist or interior designer in JUST ONE of those positions?

Let’s go shopping! I obviously missed the “really good stuff” on the paper products aisle:

What is THAT color? And for the record I have never ever seen a rose look so gloomy.

Alright! Finally something with some sort of style. But this only was made in bright fuschia because everyone’s kitchens, bathrooms and bedrooms are bright fuschia!

Here is a simple design 4 pack. With a grey sunflower, an weird orangish sunflower and two purple sunflowers. So, let me get this straight…they are selling this in a 4 pack because they expected that these 3 colors will fit right into my house?

Before you start re-painting your walls grey sunflower, weird orangish and too purple, you might want this information:

Yes, my dear reader, you will have to ACT QUICKLY because this set is for a limited time ONLY!

So then I saw this three pack:

I liked the top box:

Despite it being in a color scheme of pink and orange. I was going to look beyond that just because it was cute. Well, in context of the world of “decorative” tissue boxes it was cute.

It was packaged with this soccer-themed box (which sports that same weird green color):

And this perky box:

Which required closer inspection. I then noticed they all have this label:

Yes, this is Puff’s “anything but old-school” series. Finally, a tissue company puts the EDGY back in blowing your nose. This is what I have been waiting for.

Graffiti art tissue boxes…

decorated with skulls.

Perfect for my yellow painted GRUNGE themed masterbath…

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  1. You leave the tissues out where people can see the boxes? If I did that, my younger kids would pull them all out of the box. It’s facinating to them how many tissues are in a box, how much paper is on the toilet paper roll, etc. I put the tissue boxes on a high shelf in the linen closet. I get a handfull of tissues down for the child who needs them.

  2. My husband totally fight over this all the time. I refuse to keep tissue boxes out because they are so ugly. They are hidden in drawers, nightstands, end tables etc..all over the house.

    We do have the yellow and purple sunflower ones in the girls rooms though. They work there.