Holly doesn’t like to complain but she has noticed a serious problem that plagues the roads in front of the schools in her town.
She is very sensitive to speed in the school zone. She is sensitive to the tune of $233 in the 2007 calendar year. Holly got a ticket for 8 mph over the school zone in an area that she thought the school zone had ended MILES ago.
The town that Holly lives in has 20 mph school zones
Legend: fancy orange squares=school zone with a 20 mph speed limit
In 2007 the townspeople of Holly’s town voted to ban cell phones in school zones.
Holly’s full disclosure: Holly voted against such a thing but isn’t bitter that she was not on the winning side except that she might still be a bit bitter since she is now writing this in her very own blog that you are currently reading but she wants to disclose her vote even though in the United States of America voting is a private issue but she would feel much better if you knew the way she voted since it might in some small way affect the way she views this situation.
Holly would like to add that she is in favor of children and isn’t trying to hit them with her minivan while talking on the phone.
Holly would like to point out that in the town where she lives it is uncommon for children to walk to and/or from school.
Due to the school zone cell phone ban, Holly has noticed that this usually happens:
Legend: Orange bolts of lightening=slamming of brakes along with the simultaneous drop of phone into the lap
Holly has looked around and noticed that she isn’t the only one with coordination problems. It appears that most drivers are finding it difficult to slam on their brakes WHILE pausing their phone conversation and dropping their phones into their laps.
Holly is concerned that this new ban has caused bigger safety issues. Holly is frightened for anyone walking or riding within a 100 yard distance of the start of a school zone.
For this reason Holly is calling for the following two zones to be added to the existing school zone. She is declaring this now so that it can be placed on the 2008 ballot for the townspeople’s vote:
Legend: pink colored blocks (*)=Cell phone drop to lap zone, purple jagged line (**)=area to start the slam of brakes, fancy orange blocks=existing school zone with 20 mph speed limit
Townspeople unite! Vote for the additional “cell phone drop to lap zone” and the “slam on the brake zone”!
Holly believes that her plan will dramatically decrease the driver’s multitasking panic. *cue patriotic music*
Holly realizes that each school zone would now need an additional 4 signs plus maybe a few warning signs. Holly is aware that signs like money don’t grow on trees. Holly is pretty sure that Kinko’s might run some sort of bulk sign deal with the town when her two additional laws are passed.
Tune in next Tuesday when Holly promises not to give advice to anyone about anything…
I think they should just legislate to have an old woman with saggy boobs stand topless near the school zone. It would serve a variety of purposes: 1) no children would come into the school zone; 2) all drivers would drop their cell phones into their laps in horror at the sight.
It’s a win/win situation. And I bet the old crone would be cheaper than printing signs.
holly is hysterical.
thank GAWD that there is no law banning the phone in these here parts.
*standing up and applauding wildly*
brilliant. just brilliant!
holly for president!
Oh, I’d be in big trouble if they did that here. Love your suggestions! And the spray paint idea is a good one, or maybe sidewalk chalk.
I love your law suggestion. I think I’d be doing the same thing as you. It’s just dangerous that way.
My husband just hooked up his new bluetooth phone in his car so now, while talking on the phone (after using voice recognition command: “Call Mistress”) he only looks like he’s a crazy guy babbling to himself.
What? I’m sorry, but I have to say that it’s beyond ridiculous to have a ban on cell phones ONLY IN SCHOOL ZONES! I personally think it’s stupid to have them banned while driving anywhere (which they are where I live which I’m sure came about by being lobbied by cell phonen companies so they could sell more Blue Tooths–and who came up with that name anyway–but this is a rant for another time), but in certain zones is even more absurd. Exactly like you said, it is MORE dangerous.
This was voted by the general population????
I agree with Jennifer about the spray paint. And although I LOVE “Holly’s animated life,” I think that one (spray paint) might be fun blogged with real pictures!
It is against the law here to talk on your mobile (cell) phone whilst driving anywhere.. there is an eighty dollar on the spot fine..
I hope that the townspeople would take your side. I think it’s a great idea to implement that. It’s better to give at least a warning and time for people to take off their phones or hit the brakes.
Eager to hear more from this story,
Yvie
That cell phone ban would kick my *ss. What about hands-free phones? Are those allowed?
I like your ballet propositions. If it doesn’t pass (or, you know, make it to a vote) maybe you could just go out with some cans of spray paint.