car line

My kids only go to school three days a week, but that means that three days a week I endure the dreaded car line. 5 years ago when I received the 2 pages of instructions on how to negotiate the dreaded car line, I studied them faithfully until they were committed to memory.   The first few weeks were nerve-wracking… Did I hold up the sign at the right time? Am I pulling up to the proper cone? Are those my children? Time and experience has taught me not to FEAR the car line, but to minimize my exposure to it.   For example, if you show up early, you will need to be at least 12 minutes early to get a good position and then you have to wait…well, 12 minutes. Or let’s pretend you decide to be on time.   Guess what?   100 other cars are on time too.   You will end up waiting…well, 8 minutes. The way to prevent the automatic minimum of a 8 minute wait is to be “delayed”.   Not really late…just 6 minutes later. 6 minute delay is golden.   The line has cleared to the point where everyone in front of you has already waited 8 minutes.   And you can drive straight up to the proper cone where your waiting children stand. Your waiting children who are MAD that you are nearly last in line. Really? Have they no respect for a system that took years to perfect? Mom, WHY can’t you be first? Because I don’t want to be first. I planned this carefully.   I was exactly where I wanted to be. Mom, I bet you CAN’T be first! Nice try on the reverse psychology.   I COULD be first, but I choose not to be. I think you should PAY us every time you are late. I don’t charge you for the trip. You really should pay us $20 each every time you are late. Let’s just get this straight.   I am not LATE.   I am later.   You have always been picked up.   In fact, you have never been the LAST ones picked up.   You should treat me nicer or find another mom that would pick you up closer to the front of the line! OK, I will be nicer.   Although Lukas’ mom is usually first in line maybe I will ask her...