One of the daily obstacles to raising three boys is the obligatory entanglement in ridiculous arguments.
I know it is hard to believe from the fact that I write a lot, and talk a lot, but I do hold back in these situations out of self-preservation.
This brings up the whole subject of blogging as therapy…which I will save for another day.
They will debate the most inane things.
Accompanied by screaming.
Every good argument contains screaming.
One of the most passionately debated topic at each and every breakfast has to do with whether Reid(7) who sits in between Ryan(9) and Rhett(4) at the kitchen counter should be able to eat toast while sitting at the breakfast bar with his brothers.
The nerve of that child to want to eat TOAST!
What is wrong with toast?
Rhett who has been vehemently ANTI-bread for the last year claims that toast stinks SO BAD THAT HE MIGHT THROW UP IF SOMEONE EATS IT IN HIS PRESENCE.
He demands a 15 foot no-toast zone around him at all times.
Does this apply to all toast, or are there exemptions?
This rule only applies to REGULAR TOAST.
REGULAR TOAST is defined as any plain white or wheat toast.
You may enter the no-toast zone if you are eating SPECIAL TOAST.
SPECIAL TOAST is defined as any Pepperidge Farm Swirl Cinnamon toast as long as it does not contain raisins.
Rhett requests that if you MUST eat REGULAR TOAST that you do so at the kitchen table which is 15 feet away rendering it out of the no-toast zone.
This morning Reid was a little fed up with the enforcement of the no-toast zone and decided to rebel.
He sat next to Rhett at the kitchen counter and ate toast with exaggerated toast eating motions.
One or two of those exaggerated toast eating motions might have even hit Rhett in the head.
One or two of those exaggerated toast eating motions might have deposited strawberry jam in Rhett’s hair.
Don’t even get me started on the no-strawberry-jam zone.
But worst of all, one or two of those exaggerated toast eating motions created toast stench wind.
Let’s just say it was not well received.
After I separated the toast eating from the non-toast eating, I looked back at the remaining breakfast participator, Ryan.
Ryan looked up and said, “WHY is Rhett that way? Why can’t we eat toast around him? Why is he so sensitive?”
I have no idea, but suspect that it is genetic because I have dealt with this issue in the past.
Once 5 years ago with Ryan.
Once 3 years ago with Reid.
Evey single one of my boys went through a phase where toast stunk.