Holly’s quantitative theory of potty training

Historically, toilet training success of a two year old has been measured in:

1. # of “productive” visits to the toilet per day.
2. # of trips out of the house without an accident.
3. # of loads of laundry avoided.
4. # of naps/nights the child wakes dry.

I agree that will give you good information, but there is a simpler way…

Today is day #2 of potty training my 3rd boy and I propose the following theory:

A day’s potty training success is directly proportional to the number of hairs remaining on the mother’s head.

May God bless my potty training soul.


  1. you will be in my thoughts!!! I hated hated hated potty training – saw no redeeming value whatsoever … I mean, we are working so hard to make them grow up and leave us!!!

    Good luck, and find lots of snacks .. for you, not him!!!

  2. OK, which kid took the picture?

    Also, here’s a potty training tip: My mom potty-trained my youngest while we were in Russia. Maybe you can go on a trip and leave him with your mom for a week. Worked for me.

  3. Fiesty Charlie says:

    Wow, good luck with it! Abbie is fully trained and we think girls may just be easier. We tried all the different potties out there and the one that worked was the “talking potty.” We hate it, but it worked. She will be 3 in November and has stayed dry overnight and at nap the past 3 months… girls are easier!

    Go smack the dad and yell at him for giving you boys! It is his fault you know, that you are going bald…{grin}

  4. Beth (A Mom's Life) says:

    Our potty training theory went more like this:

    A day's potty training success is directly proportional to the number of M&M's received and consumed.

    Bribes…er,um,…incentives are the best!

    Good luck with the potty training and your hair is gorgeous! Try to refrain from removing it!!

  5. MoziEsmé says:

    I’ll buy that! And I’m guessing it’s pretty simple to figure out since there are so few hairs left?

  6. Threeundertwo says:

    In our house, potty training success was directly proportional to the number of new Hot Wheels Jungle Boy had in his collection. I’m a big believer in bribes disguised as incentives too.

  7. We too are potty training and I am so with you and your hair! Good luck! How old is Rhett?

  8. Burgh Baby says:

    When you are done, c’mon over. Mine is ready, willing, and able. She just needs a parent to give a crap and help her out. Oops, did I type that out loud? Heh.

  9. Yeah that’ll do it

  10. Can you make a video training series for this,I am sucking at it.

  11. Happy Campers says:

    Bwaaaahahahahahahha! Love the picture. Did you take that at Glamor Shots?

  12. So how long do you think you will be locked in the house for this to be accomplished? We will be thinking of you. πŸ™‚

  13. I’ve given up on potty training. Riley has no interest. When she’s ready, I suppose. It’s sad, I’ve dedicated 6 years of my life so far to changing diapers on a regular basis…and paying for them. I have another year before Angel is likely to be trained. It sucks. Hate it. That’s why I told Archie that if he ever ends up senile and needs diapers changed I’m putting him in a home. 7 years of my life changing diapers is enough. I’m done!

  14. Ron Davison says:

    You Texans talk so funny, but yes, God bless your potty trained soul. (Whatever does that mean?)
    Judging from how thick your hair is, it looks like your boys have not discovered the thrill of imitating a rain bird sprinkler in your bathroom. You are a lucky woman.

  15. Marcy - The Glamorous Life! says:

    Good Luck and God Speed.

  16. Woo baby, look at them guns! *cat call*

  17. InTheFastLane says:

    oh…good luck! Never my favorite phase, that is for sure!

  18. Hear you hun, loud and clear! Only i’m pt’ing a girl, but it’s been a month and our 2 steps forward, one back has slowly grown to 10 steps forward, 1 back.

    This is technically my 3rd try and it’s a charm. K is 2 years 6 months now.

  19. I don’t envy you. I’m SO glad to be past that stage!

    Your hair is so think, maybe no one will notice. πŸ˜‰

  20. Writer Dad says:

    My wife and I have potty trained ten children in the last two years (we run a nursery school/daycare). Here is a suggestion that has worked for us every time: When you have a successful day, allow the child to make a phone call to someone special; the more imaginary the better. We have used Santa, Barney, Bob the Builder, Lightning McQueen… You get the idea. As long as you’re consistent, this should work. Good luck, I know the process isn’t fun.

  21. Great pic…but I’m curious if the look was truly a result of potty training fun…

  22. jill jill bo bill says:

    Your perfectly toned arms will take the focus off your bald head. May the force be with you in your endeavor.

  23. Poor, poor Holly. Really, this is the #1 reason why I stopped after two children. I’m a no-nonsense kind of girl, so I went with the tried-and-true no-nonsense method for both. Didn’t work. Then went to what everyone else was doing. Didn’t work. Had trouble with both girls. Because I hated it so much the first time, I didn’t even bother the second time until she demanded it. Demanded it, then wouldn’t do it. I. hate. everything. about. potty. training. People who have no problems obviously have way different kids than mine or are just insanely more patient.

    My heart goes out to you. I feel your pain. I’d tell you it will be over soon, but from my experience, it isn’t. You need to start scheduling your “reward vacation,” however, so you can do something fun for YOURSELF when you’re finished with the miserable experience.

    Even in the throes of frustration, you look fabulous in the picture!

  24. Headless Mom says:

    Hey, not to be a total buzz kill but my boys still have issues from time to time at 6 & 8. This summer has been MUCH better, but still.

    Good luck with that. I'll send a wig if you need it.

  25. Elaine A. says:

    Dang girl, you’re buff. That picture is priceless.

    Sending many good potty training thoughts. It’s the best I can do.

  26. Dude, may the force be with you.

    Just trained my daughter…took half her life. Literally.

  27. I’m dreading potty training my almost 2-year-old. My 3-year-old does okay with #1, but still requests diapers for #2. Someday, they will actually want to do ALL their business on the toilet …

  28. Hip Mom's Guide says:

    Remember that you get to make their graduation video, and you can include any footage you want…!

  29. Well, in that case, it’s freakin’ amazing I still have hair. πŸ˜‰

  30. Manic Mommy says:

    Amen, sister. We’re on that road too. Mine’s gray, not gone…

  31. Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING says:



  32. the planet of janet says:

    ugh. ugh. ugh.

    the only advice i can offer you is that i guarantee he won’t get married in diapers.

  33. 'That Girl' says:

    May the force be with you.

  34. Yeah, good luck with that. I cleverly managed to time toilet training my older two kids whenever I was pregnant and dying with morning sickness. SO SMART!

  35. JenniBeanV says:

    My sympathies! Potty training sucks eggs.

  36. Danny, our little two-year old wonder child absolutely refuses to even try to go to the bathroom on his potty. Now we have tricked him into it and he has had productive trips, in which he is quite the proud child, but this is our sixth child, third boy, and frankly we’re tired. So when yours is done, we will send Danny down to Holly’s School of Potty (HSoP) and let you have all the fun.

    Does that sound like a deal or what? By the way, the older boys were better than all the girls when it came to potty training, I think Danny is just trying to bring the averages a little closer. πŸ™‚

    Have Fun! I know that we are!

  37. I think you ought to start calling Rhett Elvis!

  38. I will try my wit a second time… the last bit, which will be the same bit here, showed up on your last post and may be confusing, since what Elvis and potty training have to do with each other, I do not know…

    I think you need to start calling Rhett Elvis!

    Okay, I changed it up a bit, I really hate repeating myself. πŸ™‚

  39. AMomTwoBoys says:

    Uh oh…is Holly bald now?

    LOVE this new comment box thingy. Awesome.

  40. Oh dear…

  41. Oh yes. Potty training. I’ve got lots more of it in my future…

  42. EatPlayLove says:

    I am just pondering potty training #2…She's enamored with her new pink potty and even tinkled in it! But I've got plenty of time.

    Best of luck, M&M's worked like a charm for my oldest daughter. One for tinkle, two for poop.

  43. My sister is in the middle of trying to rid her laundry room of pee smell because her 3 year old is um potty training right now….and sometimes he just doesn’t make it.And much to her chagrin…the pee scent has decided to remain indefinitely.

  44. in my opinion… boys are a lot harder to train than girls. so maybe if you can convince your son he is a girl… ONLY for potty training measures and ONLY till he is fully potty trained you can do all this without ripping your hair out! πŸ˜‰ just a thought I had.

    good luck!! xoxoxoxo

  45. PS… i think that is a pretty SEXY picture of you, btw!!


  46. Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children says:

    I know.

    I know.

    I know.

  47. Jenn @ Juggling Life says:

    Just think, this time when you’re done, you’re DONE!

  48. Lisa@verybusymomwith4 says:

    Oh Holly–I feel for ya but you do look great in the pic πŸ˜‰

  49. πŸ™‚ I like that. I’m potty-training my second child, first boy. There are good days and then there are most days.

  50. Happy Campers says:

    Oh, and I also meant to say….

    Nice guns, woman!

  51. Angie's Spot says:

    This is NOT good news for me. I’m embarking on potty training daughter #2 next week and I’m terribly pessimistic about how it’s going to go. However, this might end up saving me money on that haircut that I desperately need.

  52. On a Limb with Claudia says:

    Well, you look lovely – and even bald – that’s all that counts!

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