And just a piece of advice: You don’t mess with Holly’s shopping life.
Holly first noticed it at the gas station.
Is Holly complaining about the high price of gas?
Nope.
This is Holly’s blog!
There are no perkiness-deflating discussions of world peace, global warming, religion or gas prices here.
Holly is disturbed by a disturbing trend at the gas station that has nothing to do with the price of gas.
In fact, Holly thinks the gas stations should pay her for enduring this disturbing trend:
Why is the gas pump yelling at Holly?
Holly gets out of the car to fill up her minivan…
…and all of a sudden she is starring in a commercial for that very gas station.
*cue VERY LOUD audio*
*cue VERY LOUD video (optional)*
Holly doesn’t like to complain, but sometimes the audio and the video just shout at each other and Holly steps out of the fray until they are done.
If Holly were listening, she might learn that the gas station only serves the highest quality gas.
If Holly were listening, she might learn that inside the station there are snacks of the highest quality.
If the gas station were listening, they might offer to babysit 3 minivan strapped-in children because Holly is desperate for snacks of any quality.
Holly actually started avoiding the screaming gas stations because quite honestly all she wants to do is fill up her car and pay at the pump. She has little time to referee the audio vs. video fight.
Then Holly had to go get some face soap at a local drugstore. She was walking down the face soap aisle when she nearly had heart failure because of this:
The face soap AISLE began screaming at Holly to try this new product that would make her even more desirable than she already is.
At least that is what Holly assumed it was saying since she ran in terror from the aisle without her face cream.
And then Holly went shopping at the grocery store:
Not only did the frozen food section start screaming at her, but it also spit coupons in her general direction.
Holly doesn’t mind the occasional coupon, but the spitting has to stop.
This is the part where Holly offers advice to companies that are screaming at her while shopping:
Stop screaming at me!
Do I have to put my hands over my ears and say, “La. La. La.” outside the house too?
Because my arms are really tired.
Tune in next Tuesday when Holly offers advice to government…
Damn dirty marketing executives . .. they’re just bitter because we all have Tivo now and don’t watch their TV commercials. And by “we” I mean “not me” since I don’t have one and now am being marketed in every facet of my existence including internet, tv, phone . . .
Bastards. I keep getting these greedy farts calling me asking me for charity money. Don’t they know I’m the one in need of charity?!
Nothing has yelled at me yet here in NM, but this is a very zen state on the whole. In FL there was a gas station that tried the talking thing, but they removed it after a couple months so I’m guess the feedback was not promising.
I have never been assaulted by machines yelling at me.
People need to come live in Tasmania.
(can you tell I am trying to convince all the bloggers to come keep me company over here?)
Oh, seriously. I believe you just wrote a great big shut the bleep up. Too much noise.
Don’t even get me started on the holiday aisle at Halloween or Christmas. More than once I’ve had the bejesusmaryandjoseph scared out of me when some talking mask or Santa goes off.
That must be a Texas thing because my drugstore and grocery store have never spoken to me. Although I really wouldn’t mind if the freezer section said “Your tush would appreciate it if you DID NOT buy that ice cream.” THAT I’d be all for.
P.S. Just for you I said “tush” instead of what I really wanted to say. You are welcome. Hi Holly’s Mom!
You are hysterical!
STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!
whew, i feel better now. all that yelling was getting to me!
This is why I’m glad I live in the sticks, where all of our screaming is done by crazy dudes, the old fashioned way.
What?! Did the face soap aisle screaming thing REALLY think it could make Holly even more desirable? RIDICULOUS! (Unless, of course, it was a live-in, very cute eyebrow waxer-guy.)
Amen. I stopped going to my grocery store because of the televisions in every aisle. I have a new my grocery store that doesn’t yell at me.
Clearly, the marketing people forgot that sometimes we go to the grocery store not because we actually need groceries, but because we need a moment of not yelling!