There has been a little revolt at Holly’s house. As you know, some have complained, some have whined and some have threatened. I am here to offer an ultimatum.
I am Holly’s range.
I have noticed something. I have a lot of time on my hands to observe because I am rarely in use. In fact, reflecting Holly’s fuzzy slippers in this picture is the most work I have done all week.
It’s not that Holly stays out of the kitchen. She is ALWAYS there. She uses other appliances. The microwave and dishwasher seem to be in perpetual motion. She also has her favorites. The coffee maker.
The computer. I know this isn’t actually a kitchen appliance, but she doesn’t seem to grasp that.
I have to hand it to her. The girl can make some toast.
and some more toast.
This is hard for me to admit. This hurts me to the core. This is why other appliances mock me. This is why drastic measures are required. This is no joke. This is another appliance that sees more action then I do:
I know it seems incomprehensible that a barnyard waffle maker is in use more than I. Do you feel my pain? Do you see why action is my only choice? Where did it all go so wrong? Why me? Is she insane?If I am not used consistently (once daily x 14 consecutive days) over the next two weeks, I am posting myself on eBay:
Stainless steel range. Pristine condition. Very little use.
Crying for attention,
Holly’s Range
At least yours looks clean.
Now I’m really glad I didn’t let my kids talk me into the Hello Kitty toaster. I can only imagine the trash talk behind my back. 🙂
Damn that is the cleanest oven–make that the cleanest KITCHEN–I think I’ve ever seen. I’m downright jealous of you! This makes me wonder if you have a lot of spare time on your hands, what with everything sparkling so…
I love that the computer is a kitchen appliance–it is totally my appliance of choice (but the desk on which it sits is COVERED in post-it notes and other miscellaneous crap.
*whispers to Holly’s Range* come to Australiaaaaaa we can change your name to Oven or Stove..
I will treat you like a queen and fill you with succulent roasts and fluffy pastries. oh the bliss…
Come to Australiaaaaa
Dear range,
you can come over and keep my smaller kitchen appliances I had to have company – food processor, blender, immersion blender, electric griddle. They are very lonely and don’t see much light of day inside their cupboards.
KEEP BELIEVING
I was a little nervous at first that you were going to talk about the need for putting one Nirvana head into the oven. Am very RELIEVED this is not so. But, you have to relieve your stove of his pain. Really. You do.
Holly’s Range–you are hilarious. Seriously, get a blog of your own and add me to your blog roll. I’ll be sure to add you to mine. That is, unless I can get you on Ebay for a good price . . . you can join my never-used stove top and you two can become friends.
I’m using my mom’s old range she used when I was a kid!
Oh sweetie, I’d be happy to adopt you. I have a far inferior ugly white range that seems to show dirt even if I only boil water. I’d be happy to turn you on anytime 😉
It’s okay, honey, at least you LOOK hot!
Ooh, that is almost as nice as my old windowless beauty. And, no fair, I actually use mine!