the legend of bitter holly (part I)

The Legend of Bitter Holly originally aired here on the Nirvana in April of 2008.   I don’t want to overly foreshadow, but it is the root of why I give a periodic fruit bowl update…

Our legend begins in a sunny suburban neighborhood in a house that could (but doesn’t) have a white picket fence. Holly who is naturally perky enters her kitchen and turns on the lights. Hmmmm…something doesn’t look right to Holly. Her fruit bowl is sitting in partial darkness. Hey that isn’t right thinks Holly. She starts to formulate a plan of action. Good thinking Holly! She places a call to the electrical company that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness. Holly is very thorough. She wants the electrical company that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness to understand exactly what he needs to fix. Holly has a bit of experience with people who come to fix things and don’t have the proper part. The electrical company then gives Holly a service window for their impending repair of the right under-cabinet light. Oh goody! Holly loves it when a company gives her a service window. The bigger the better! *Two weeks later* Holly has her to do list ready. Uh-oh. Holly notices that the to do list is comprised of things that need to be done OUTSIDE of the home. She is not sure what time she can leave the home because she is expecting the electrical company that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness. Holly will just wait at home for the electrician and then do her errands after he leaves. Uh-oh. Holly waited for 12 hours. Holly did not leave the house. Holly did not complete any of her to do list. Holly did not see any electrician, let alone an electrician that works for the electrical company that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness. Holly decides she might need to call the electrical company that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness to re-schedule since it appears that today’s 12 hour window wasn’t large enough for him to visit her. Holly is very thorough. She wants the electrical company that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness to understand exactly what he needs to fix. Holly has a bit of experience with people who come to fix things and don’t have the proper part. The electrical company then gives Holly a service window for their impending repair of the right under-cabinet light. Oh goody! Holly loves it when a company gives her a service window for the second time. The bigger the better! *Two weeks later* Yep, you guessed it. The electrical company that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing Holly’s fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness did not show up. Holly is pretty mad. Holly is so fretful she can’t discuss it further. Holly made this handy dandy reference chart for your review: Holly looks at the handy dandy reference chart for your review and realizes that she is bitter. Holly is so very, very bitter that she can’t even face calling the electrical company that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness. Bitter Holly decides that instead of facing this problem, she will utilize one of her favorite defense-mechanisms. Bitter Holly’s favorite defense-mechanism is to ignore it and hope it will go away. Bitter Holly tries to continue her life even though her fruit bowl is sitting in partial darkness. Bitter Holly gets out of bed each morning despite her fruit bowl sitting in partial darkness. Bitter Holly goes through the motions of daily life despite her fruit bowl sitting in partial darkness. Bitter Holly goes to bed each night despite her fruit bowl sitting in partial darkness (well, really at night it is in total darkness, but the pain is just the same). As the days pass it seems easier to adjust to the fruit bowl situation. In fact, one day Bitter Holly is invited to an important meeting at her child’s school. At this important meeting Bitter Holly will see other adults. At this important meeting Bitter Holly will sit with other adults. At this important meeting Bitter Holly will talk with other adults. Sign Bitter Holly up! At this important meeting with other adults, Bitter Holly tries to act responsible, smart and capable. She tries to think before she speaks. She is glad she wore the skirt today. She is even keeping her bitterness in check. She is feeling very blended-in when: RING! RING! RING! Bitter Holly pities the poor person who forgot to turn off their cell phone. Crap. That would be Bitter Holly. Bitter Holly scrambles for the phone causing purse contents to scatter. Bitter Holly is drawing a lot of unwanted attention to herself. At this very moment, Bitter Holly doesn’t look very responsible, smart or capable. That just adds to the bitterness that Bitter Holly is no longer keeping in check. Bitter Holly locates the phone and flings herself into the adjoining hall. Bitter Holly is sure that anyone calling to interrupt her important meeting with other adults must be bleeding or in peril. She answers the emergency call. The emergency call is from the electrical company that installed her right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness. The electrician is at Bitter Holly’s home right now. To be continued… Will Bitter Holly throw her fancy phone across the hall adjoining the meeting with other adults? Is the fruit bowl destined to sit in partial darkness? How long can Holly stretch this story out? Tune into the Nirvana tomorrow to find out. {Part II is here}