Dear Nirvana Reader,
This is a plea for help. I could be beautiful. I am neglected.
I can prove it.
This is my life:
8:00 am:
Please don’t make me tell you what meal
yesterday the Frito is from.
No one swept me last night.
No one swept me this morning.
10:30 am:
Yes, now I am enduring not only REAL food, but faux food as well.
Please notice that the Frito remains. It is like an itch I cannot scratch.
1:15 pm:
Great. Smashed goldfish were added from lunch.
And the stickers. I never can be free from the stickers.
4:00:
Yes, the wide shot is better to see the real picture of what is happening here.
See that marker?
Non-washable.
She is insane…3 boys and she buys a
non-washable marker?
Do you see what I am dealing with here people?
6:30 pm:
Whew. Progress. First time all day that progress is being made.
Toys picked up…well, actually scooted to the adjoining concrete floor (don’t get him started) to make room for the broom…
ah, I can feel the joy already.
7:45:This is getting a bit irritating.
The
broom
is
right
here.
Please.
Please use it!
9:00 pm:Are you kidding me? It’s getting quiet around here.
No one loves me. She just walks by. Leaving the broom here is just evil.
It is like she is mocking me.
6:15 am:I just spent the whole night dreaming of that broom. Bet she just puts it away and I live like this through another day.
For the love of Frito’s, could you just humor me and pick that ONE up?
Pleadingly,
Holly’s kitchen floor
P.S. I originally made this plea in March of 2008. Things haven’t changed much around here except the addition of handfuls of Legos…
help.
Please don’t make me tell you what meal yesterday the Frito is from.
No one swept me last night.
No one swept me this morning.
10:30 am:
Yes, now I am enduring not only REAL food, but faux food as well.
Please notice that the Frito remains. It is like an itch I cannot scratch.
1:15 pm:
Great. Smashed goldfish were added from lunch.
And the stickers. I never can be free from the stickers.
4:00:
Yes, the wide shot is better to see the real picture of what is happening here. See that marker? Non-washable.
She is insane…3 boys and she buys a non-washable marker?
Do you see what I am dealing with here people?
6:30 pm:
Whew. Progress. First time all day that progress is being made.
Toys picked up…well, actually scooted to the adjoining concrete floor (don’t get him started) to make room for the broom…ah, I can feel the joy already.
7:45:
You got the memo about dogs right? As long as your floor can stand the dog hair and scratch paws, it is a great solution.
My tile floors can totally relate.
You’ve got ground in goldfish too? Our floors should get together! :0)
You crack me up! You also inspired me… I’ve been thinking about how to blog about the neverending renovations going on in our building; I might have the building speak for itself 🙂
Oh my gosh, this is hilarious!!
I actually saw in a home show they used a ton of fritos on the floor and stained around them to add a “textured” and vintage feel (they did sweep them up later though). It was actually pretty 🙂
My floor and I never talk anymore. It just screams at me all the time and says I’m abusive.
Sigh.
Um. I think your kitchen floor would like to see you for a second. I hope you can make her understand that, really? What’s the point? She’s just going to get be-Fritoed in like an hour after sweeping.
What a great post!! I was on the floor laughing. 🙂
I have to admit that floors are the one thing I can’t stand dirty. It is my OCD *thing*. I think it has alot to do with the two labradors that reside with us……
Holly! That is so this Holly’s kitchen floor. And, are you, like me, very frustrated by hard wood (not water proof) in the kitchen, too? Mine’s totally ruined by the toddler.
My floor feels your floor’s pain. Someone gave me a Shark for Christmas — do you suppose that was a hint? — and I still haven’t used it. Roseanne Barr said the day she’d clean the floor would be the day someone invented a riding vacuum. My sentiments exactly.