bed level head

I know I have lamented on numerous occasions that my kids are early risers.


No matter what threats, follow-throughs and grand sleeping schemes I enforce…they just get up early.

Very early.

Sleeping IN is 6 am at my house.


The problem isn’t that they get up early.

The problem is that they need attention early.


Not only do they need my attention early, but they often need my problem-solving skills as well.

I am usually half asleep during these sessions and feel like they might be getting half asleep answers, but really it is what they deserve for waking up so early.

Here is a recent conversation I had with Ryan pre-6 am:

Mommy.   I lost my tooth last night in bed.

Oh, that is good.

No!   It is terrible.   My mouth is filled up with blood.   I am going to throw up.

Not on me!

Yes.   I am going to throw up right here.

Please go spit in the sink.   NOW.

*Ryan leaves for a moment and I ponder how someone who has a mouthful of blood can carry on such a clear conversation*

Mommy.   We were playing in the playroom (need I remind you that it is PRE-6 am?) but we had to stop because of the spider.

You can play around the spider.

No!   It is a black widow.   It is stuck in the pirate ship.   It is huge!   It is definitely a black widow.

It is not a black widow.

Yes.   It is.   I saw it.

Please go upstairs and play.

But the black widow…

I will check on it in a little while.   If I have to come up there now it isn’t…

I know.   It isn’t going to be pretty.

An hour later I was feeling a little guilty about leaving my three boys upstairs with a poisonous spider.

What kinda mom am I anyway?

I climbed the stairs, entered the playroom of death and sought out the pirate ship with its dangerous cargo.

The boys gasped as I picked up the pirate ship and peered into the hull where the black widow was supposedly held captive.

Ryan cried out as I opened the bars to the spider jail and reached inside with my bare hands.

I pulled out a small transformer action figure that had black feet.

To which Ryan said, “Hey, that ISN’T a black widow.

I am sure you are as shocked as I was.


  1. Hey June Cleaver –
    We need to meet for lunch while your boys are still in school!!

  2. Maybe it was a black widow…it just TRANSFORMED!!

  3. Wow, I am lucky that my toddler has the internal clock of a teenager and loves sleep.

  4. I love it! this would be a typical scenario amongst my twins. Except my daughter would have woken the neighborhood because of a spider {which would have turned out to be a dust ball}

  5. Too funny…ah…good times, good times…

  6. Bless you. I would d-i-e. Fortunately, only my daughter gets up this early. She makes herself right at home by making breakfast for herself (and sometimes the family). Her newest thing is laying clothes out for my husband and myself. Hey whatever keeps her from waking me up 🙂

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