Oh the drama…

I have noticed lately it has been a bit dramatic here at the Nirvana. Emotions are running amok. So I have created the following “Nirvana Response List” for your education. 1. Poke = Punch 2. Slight Injury = Scream of Death 3. Slight Injustice = Scream of Death (for alternate response, see #4) 4. Slight Injustice = Punch 5. Not Getting your Way = Tantrum 6. Really Not Getting your Way = Tantrum/Scream of Death Combo 7. Really Not Getting your Way When your Brother is Involved = Tantrum/Scream of Death/Punch Combo *The Tantrum/Scream of Death/Punch Combination is technically difficult, but can be honed to perfection with practice. The drama that can only be wrought by a distraught 2 year old frustrated by lack of parental understanding. He has two torn stickers and is insistent that I do something about it. I am trying everything, but nothing seems to be an appropriate response. Do you want them stuck together? Do you want them stuck together in this way? Do you want them stuck on a piece of paper? He is screaming and pleading and crying. His world is coming to an end over an unmatched pair of tiny sticky papers. I should not be surprised. 6 months ago I had to ban bananas in the house because he was offended by peeling them. In offended I mean a 20 minute tantrum of horror because the banana peel was peeled too far down (I think…I never really did figure out the whole banana issue). So being a pick-my-battles kinda girl, I just said no to bananas until it blew over. He also exhibited early bath issues. From months 3-15 he would STAND screaming in the sink as I hosed him off. Give me a break on the standing…I tried to cut him off at the knees only to have an increase in audible response. Then one day he wanted to bathe with brothers and all was well with the bath. Then there was a nightly bottle. He demanded it. He would protest into the night without it. He would refuse a watered down bottle (I too, thought that was a brilliant mommy move on my part). When I mentioned bedtime, he mentioned bottle. When I mentioned bottle, he mentioned bedtime. Our nightly routine was a dream as long as it included the bottle. A few weeks after his second birthday I pointed out that he was 2 and too old for a bottle. He asked the first night, I responded, “you are two!” and drama over. He laid down and went to sleep never to mention the bottle except in his cute little teasing way….”bottle?” accompanied by grin. I suspect drama is firmly implanted in the genetic code. I suspect that he received this special trait from his “X” chromosome. I suspect we will have drama issues for years to come. But along with crazy drama comes crazy drama as exhibited by the above bacon fang picture. He is such a silly soul. I try to be thankful for the whole dramatic package. As for the stickers? He is sitting quietly on my lap with his head on the edge of the computer quietly watching me type while clutching the unmatched pair of tiny sticky papers…this drama is not over.  To all this drama I say… I am being interrupted by drama. To all this drama I say… Dear Drama, You know me well. We used to hang out all the time. Our memories are vivid. We had BIG plans. We dreamed HUGE dreams. Our connection was larger than life. I may have neglected you a bit recently–for that I apologize. I have been busy. It looks like you have found a way to occupy yourself as well. I don’t know if there is a drama code of ethics, but I think you may have breached it by teaming up with Genetics. Drama + Genetics = Love. Drama and Genetics sitting in a tree… So now Drama, you have teamed up with Genetics and befriended my children. Oh Drama, you are always so….dramatic. Oh Genetics, you are so….genetic-y. Why can’t the apples fall a bit further from the tree? With undying love and devotion, Holly